Thoughts of a Gunshot Victim | Teen Ink

Thoughts of a Gunshot Victim

March 8, 2009
By PK4evr ELITE, Allen, Texas
PK4evr ELITE, Allen, Texas
105 articles 5 photos 107 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch everyone wonder how you did it!


He heard an angel calling his name. That was what it sounded like, at least. The blinding pain filled his chest. He knew that it hadn?t entered into his heart, not his lungs, but somewhere still vital.

Things were fading. Sounds, objects, the voice (for there was only one) and his life. It was all fading.

His heart was faltering, and he smiled and closed his eyes.


The author's comments:
This is Luke's thoughts right after he is shot by Aaron.

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This article has 9 comments.


PK4evr ELITE said...
on Sep. 2 2009 at 6:48 pm
PK4evr ELITE, Allen, Texas
105 articles 5 photos 107 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch everyone wonder how you did it!

It's way too long to post on teenink, so that will probably not be happening. However, almost everything fiction on here is an excerpt, except for Departing, Coming Home, She Sabotaged my Suicide Attempt, and One Action, Many Consequences. Just click on "more by this author" and you'll find plenty of material from my series.

PK4evr ELITE said...
on Sep. 2 2009 at 6:13 pm
PK4evr ELITE, Allen, Texas
105 articles 5 photos 107 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch everyone wonder how you did it!

He didn't die. As I told the last guy, this was an excerpt and I'm sorry for not mentioning that. In the main story, he does not die. It is only implied in this article.

on Sep. 2 2009 at 6:10 pm
arElana PLATINUM, Fair Lawn, New Jersey
24 articles 0 photos 94 comments
i disagree. i think instead of elaborating on the situation, you should make it longer with the feeling, and a protest against death. otherwise, youre an amazing riter. plus i feel better that im not the only one that kills of their main characters

PK4evr ELITE said...
on Sep. 2 2009 at 5:37 pm
PK4evr ELITE, Allen, Texas
105 articles 5 photos 107 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch everyone wonder how you did it!

This was meant to be an excerpt, not a full story. I forgot to explain.

on Jul. 24 2009 at 5:16 pm
bubbasamantha GOLD, Woodville, Ohio
12 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
Most dreams don't come true on their own; you have to make them true.  It takes a lot of work.  It's not easy, but not impossible, either.

A good start, but I think you could do a little more. Maybe you were going for the whole keeping it short and sweet thing, but in my opinion I think it would be better if you added onto it! Maybe talk about how he was shot, why he was shot? You know, give a little more information on the situation. Just a little advice! Overall, very nice!

on Apr. 15 2009 at 4:36 am
Denae Worcester BRONZE, Castle Rock, Colorado
1 article 0 photos 31 comments
Good job.

You accomplished a lot in a short while. You could leave it as is (though it defintely needs the title to better explain the situation!) or you could add it to a story somewhere else. You're very descriptive.

on Apr. 12 2009 at 1:16 pm
bluejay31 SILVER, Scottsdale, Arizona
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments
nice story. A little short, but I think it really got to the point and it was simple and clear. Try to elaborate and add some more detail to this story, I think that it'll become a really good story.


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