In Memory Of | Teen Ink

In Memory Of

December 19, 2016
By spookymikki BRONZE, Mendon, Massachusetts
spookymikki BRONZE, Mendon, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Please, Caroline… You’re only fifteen years old. This isn’t something you can just forget.”  Caroline stayed silent. She hadn’t talked much since the incident. “It’s not your fault,” Doctor Grey said quietly.
Caroline stayed silent.  Doctor Grey took a deep breath. The sessions she had with Caroline weren’t the easiest. The girl had been through a lot, but still refused to explain what had happened with her father. “Tell me what happened.” The therapist commanded, as soft and concerning as possible, but still sounding stern.
Caroline stayed silent for a moment.  “Okay, okay.” The girl mumbled. She fiddled with her blonde hair, not fully willing to share the worst thing in her life.
“It was Sunday. I mean, Monday. Yeah, it was Monday. Memorial Day. My dad is- was- in the military. He, uh, was Colonel or something like that. Something important. He was really smart. Um, anyways, every Memorial Day, my dad would go to the local military base to help conduct the ceremony.” Caroline took a deep breath. “And, well, um, this year I wanted to see it.” The teen focused on the floor again, clearly trembling.
“So we got there, you know, and he showed me around. Then it was- it was time for the service, which was outdoors. He left me standing with the other wives and sisters and children that had lost their loved ones.” Caroline stopped.  She looked up briefly before drifting her gaze back down to the dull, wood floor and continuing on.
“They started the service and all of a sudden there was this- explosion screaming in my ear. It knocked me to the ground. There was gunfire, and I couldn’t find my dad.” Caroline shook her head. Her hands started to shake, making it obvious tears were about to flow. “I ran around looking for him, and all I could hear was the panic in people’s voices.” Silence filled the room for a minute before Caroline continued. “Someone tackled me to the ground and I started freaking out, but it was just my dad. Another explosion went off and he told me to run, but I didn’t want to leave him.”
Caroline stopped. She didn’t even know if she could get the words out. Anger started to surge through her, and she didn’t know why. “A stray bullet hit him, okay?” Caroline shouted. “He had that look in his eye- the ‘I-know-I’m-going-to-die’ kind of expression. He told me he loved me. Told me to- to take care of my mom and sister. I held his hands when he died.” A large moment of silence passed before Caroline spoke again. “I was just sitting there. I loved my dad. I still do. Then this guy started to come over to me. He-” The blonde paused before continuing on. “He had a mask on. And a gun. I quickly grabbed my dad’s. It was a small little pistol-type gun. I tried to pretend I was dead, but the guy must’ve seen me move, because he grabbed my- my hair and pulled me up.” Caroline hesitated before saying her next words.
“I shot him in the head.”
Neither women spoke for a solid five minutes. The only noise was the faint ticking of the grandfather clock located in the corner of Dr. Grey’s dull room. Tears rolled down Caroline’s face.
The therapist showed no emotion in her words. “How long since you’ve gone to school?”
“Five days?” Everything left Caroline’s lips as a question.
“Alright.” Dr. Grey looked at Caroline until Caroline finally ripped her eyes away from the ground. “I’ll see you next week. Try to move on.”
Caroline’s expression melted from sorrow and misery to pure rage. “Screw you.”
Dr. Grey watched as Caroline hurriedly walked out of the office and away from her problems. 
The car ride home between Caroline and her mom was silent. Caroline’s mom gave her daughter small smiles, showing her daughter she was there for her if needed. Caroline replied by quickly squeezing her mom’s hand.
Day and night quickly came, and then it was Monday. Caroline silently packed her books into her bag and made her way to first period- Math. She walked in the room, keeping her head down, and started to make her way to the back of the room.
Caroline took her eyes off the ground to look at her seat, only to meet them with a pair of jade ones.  The two stared at each other for a moment before Caroline broke the silence.  “Who are you?” Caroline spoke for the first time in hours.
“I’m Beth.” The girl sitting in her spot smiled. She had jet black hair with a dark green stripe down the side that complimented her eyes. Beth wore combat boots, skinny jeans, a faded ‘ACDC’ t-shirt, and a bomber jacket- clearly making her stand out among the other dull kids in the class. Several piercings ran up her ear. “I’m new today. Do you sit here?”
Caroline nodded.  Beth smiled.  “My bad.” The new teenager got up and sat down at the desk next to Carol’s.
“Carol, take a seat please,” their teacher, Mrs. Smith commanded before starting class.
“Do you listen to ACDC?” Beth whispered to Caroline.  Caroline quietly shook her head ‘no’.
“What do you listen to?” Beth questioned. Caroline didn’t respond. She simply stared ahead at the formulas written on the board. “Ok, ok.” Beth nodded her head. “I’ll just draw on your paper until you talk to me.”  Beth started to draw little mandala-type patterns within the margins of Caroline’s notebook.
“Will you stop it?” Caroline shouted. Beth looked hurt.
“Caroline! Be quiet, I’m teaching! Detention after school. Kids these days…” Mrs. Smith muttered before proceeding to keep teaching the same boring math problems.  Caroline said nothing. She just stared at the patterns she saw in her notebook.
The school day quickly passed. Beth wasn’t in any of Caroline’s other classes. Soon enough, it was 2:30pm, and the troubled teen grumpily walked towards the detention room.  Caroline looked around the room and saw the usual types of students who got detention- the jocks, the class clowns… she didn’t fit in here. Caroline sighed and sat down in a cluster of empty desks.  The blonde hadn’t even noticed that a certain black-haired-with-a-green-streak girl had walked into the room and sat down next to her.
“Hey.” 
Caroline looked up and saw Beth. She quickly looked down. “Sorry.” Caroline uttered softly.
“For what?” Beth said back. “Hey, it’s ok.” There was a moment of silence where the two girls were staring at their empty desks. “My dad died too.”
Caroline abruptly lifted her head up. “How did you…?”
“It was on the news.” Beth said sadly. “I’m sorry.”
“I-It’s ok. Thanks. How did your dad pass?”
“He worked at a bank. You can probably assume what happened,” Beth said, carelessly kicking her feet up to rest on the desk.
Caroline nodded. “I’m sorry for your loss,” she whispered.
“It’s fine. So, what music do you listen to?” Beth asked.
“Oh, um, I like classical music. And folk too, I guess. Calming stuff, really.”
“Oh, ok. Hey, when you go home, listen to some classic rock for me, will ya? Especially songs by Journey. They’re the best,” Beth raved, making gestures with her hands as she talked.
“My dad liked Journey,” Caroline smiled- for the first time in days.
A week had passed and Caroline and Beth were closer than ever. The two were like ice and fire, but Beth was the other part of Caroline she didn’t know she needed. The troubled blonde hadn’t opened up to anyone since the incident. She’d significantly drifted away from her old friends, and neither her mom nor her sister could talk to Caroline for more than five minutes at a time. But somehow, Beth made Caroline feel better, even though Caroline was called a ‘weirdo’ whenever she was seen talking to Beth. Caroline just assumed that it was because Beth was new and dressed differently (and also had no other friends besides Carol).
A few days later, Mrs. Smith gave her math class an excessive amount of homework. Caroline and Beth decided to work on it together, even though they secretly knew they wouldn’t get much done.  The girls decided to walk back to Caroline’s house. After all, it was only a fifteen-minute walk and Beth had never come over before. 
“Hey, look,” Beth smiled. “I see your house!” She quickly grabbed Caroline’s hand and bolted down the sidewalk towards Carol’s house.
The two were still holding hands when Caroline unlocked the door and walked in. “Hey mom, I’m home,” she squeaked quietly. “Oh, and I brought a friend, too.”
“Oh, is it Beth?” Her mom called from the other room.
“Yeah, mom…” Caroline responded softly, staring at her feet. Beth raised an eyebrow and smirked at her, silently making fun of Carol for talking about Beth.
“Ok, I’m coming! Oh, and Beth, I made some cookies too,” Caroline’s mom responded cheerfully. Carol and Beth stood in the doorway (probably not even realizing that they were still holding hands), waiting, until Carol’s mom emerged from the living room.
“Honey,” Caroline’s mom said, leaning side to side, eyes wandering as if she was searching for something. “There’s no one there,”
Caroline laughed. “No, mom, she’s right here. Good one though,”
Caroline looked down at her hand to find an overheated phone creating the warmth she had thought was from Beth’s hand.



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