As a child I dreamed I would be an astronaut. After all, it was the best profession. You didn’t have to be tied down to lackluster Earth, dressed up in a grey suit and tie, living a humdrum life. I dreamed and wished and aspired on my couch, clicking through channels on the TV, waiting for someone to knock on my door and take me to the moon and Jupiter and then land on a faraway star. Once I turned twelve, my 7th grade class went on a field trip to the police station. We got to see all of the cool equipment police cars had in them, and even got to meet one of the police dogs. It was then I decided I wanted to be a police man. Cops got to track down criminals, put handcuffs on them, and load them into the backs of their imposing squad cars, and all while getting to bring justice to the world. Needless to say, it was the best profession. Then, I entered High School and was introduced to something that would change my life forever: girls. As I walked through the halls of my high school with my zit ridden face and baggy jeans, I wondered why girls didn’t pay attention to me. I turned the corner and stopped at a huge glass case pushed up against the pale yellow wall. There was a plaque inside that had a picture of a good looking guy holding a football, with a team of cheerleaders surrounding him, smiling, all of their white teeth flashing. The plaque read ‘Zach Mason, Athlete of the year’ in all capital letters. It was then that I decided I wanted to be a professional athlete. I went home that day and flung my backpack out of sight as I crashed on my bed, looking up at my ceiling, which was still covered with glow in the dark space stickers, and thought about my career, and my success, and who I wanted to be. I think about that guy a lot nowadays. I still live in the same house, but I moved to the basement. I couldn’t afford a dog so I got a pet hamster and named him Spot. Every day I wake up and get ready, then head off to work, dressed up in my uniform and hat. There are never any surprises or altercations. I head inside and strap on my nametag as greet the customers with my mandatory smile. “Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order?”