We all have that one desire, something that we have been longing for. It's like something is lost. But when we finally receive it, we mistreat it. We act as if we’ve always had possession of it. It’s like life. Some mistreat it… while others cherish it.
We all have scars, that are awning on our skin. Many define us. Maybe when you were a kid you fell and scraped your knee so it left a scar. Nonetheless others leave scars on their own bodies. They drag the blade across their bodies leaving mark, after mark.
We all bleed. A dark crimson red color seeping out of our wounds. Dripping down our delicate skin. Leaving stains. Some make themselves bleed, they like the feeling.
We all breathe. Exhaling and inhaling every few seconds. It’s something we are required to do to survive. Hundreds of peers stop every second...
We will all end up dead. We could die any second not knowing that our lives will be taken away from us. Everyone in the world will die eventually. At a young age, an old age or when you’re ready to go.

I can only imagine what it would be like if my life was normal... if I was normal, but I'm not. I'm the abnormal one that no one likes. Maybe that's why I sink further and further each day, causing me to drown eventually.  No one will care about me, no one will love me.
I'm just the girl that people glance at and think I should be in a freak show.

School. It's a war zone for me. The community that is supposed to be 'safe' is really a place where everyone makes me sink further than I already was.
Home. A safe zone. They tell me they care, and maybe they actually do.
No one here knows that I hide behind the fake smile plastered on my face.
They know what I have, but they try and hide it from the world so people don't think different of me. They say that there are never people questioning until the 'switch' happens.
The 'switch' is terrifying, I guess. I don't know exactly what it is, but my parents have tried to explain. My mom told me that people watch and stare in horror, like I'm turning into a monster that no one has ever seen. My family is used to it. They don't like to watch when it happens, so they tell me they leave.
I'm in my own little world each day, not knowing where I'll be going that very day. This own little world is the place where my dreams become reality.

School. It's a terrible place, but I enjoy seeing my friends. Everyone knows me, I guess I could be considered 'popular'. I have an incredible boyfriend named Leo who I wouldn't replace for anything in the world.
Home. A place where I'm controlled. They supposedly care about me, but I doubt that. My parents don't care if I sneak out to go to parties, get drunk and get home late, they're used to it by now. I'm a carefree person. I will try anything and do anything.
The 'switch' is beyond traumatizing, they tell me. I don't know what the switch is so my parents kind of explain it, but don't tell me what I'm switching. No one knows the real me, I don't let anyone in. I act like a different person around others. My parents say if people saw the switch happen they would run like something is about to come for them. I'm a monster.

The sad thing about society is that we are all judged by our appearances. Most people aren't worrying about others personalities when they first meet. At school we all get told to be yourself, but in reality they will judge you if you aren't at the top of the food chain.
Sadly, I'm at the way bottom, getting eaten alive.

It's 6am when my alarm clock goes off
Every day, I have the same routine;
Wake up.
Get ready.
Eat.
Get in my car.
And go to school.

At school, I meet up with Leo in the senior parking lot. When I get there he's in his car scrolling through his IPhone. He doesn't notice me until I park in my usual area. He gets out of his car, says good morning, hugs me and kisses my forehead.
It's Monday, which means the week just started. I've been dreading school lately, I guess I could call it hell.

It's 12:07pm when I go to lunch. Everyone is staring at me in horror, and I don't know why. It's not like anything changed. I'm the exact same, at least I think.

12:10pm. I'm getting asked multiple questions about what's wrong with me. I tell them nothing is wrong with me. But they tell me the opposite.
"There is something going on with her," the principle tells one of my teachers.
"I know, she always acts different," the teacher states.                                                 They tell me to go lay down in the nurses room so they can call my mom. But before I lay down I quietly get up so I can get my bag from my locker.
When I'm going to my locker I see Leo. He's standing right next to my locker on the phone. His eyebrows are furrowed and his lips are in a tight line, like he's stressed.
"I honestly don't know what's going on with her. Her mood keeps changing." Leo says quietly into his phone. I hear a muffled voice coming through the phone. Leo is about to speak when I smack my foot on the trash can, causing him to look up. When he sees me his eyes meet mine.
"Hey love, what are you doing here?" He asks me. 
"Umm... I'm going to be heading home so I'm grabbing my stuff." I say slowly and quietly.                       The only thing I hear is a mumbled "oh" come from him.

I'm walking to the office thinking about so many things, like why do I have to be different? Why do I have to be the 'freak show' of the school? Why can't I be normal?                  
I get to the office with my head hanging low. I get many strange looks but I just brush them off my shoulder.
"Hey are you okay?" I hear a student ask.  I don't respond, I just glance at them. They give me weird looks.
"What's on your arms?" One of them asks.
"Nothing," I respond shrugging.
"You have red lines on your forearms." They say in unison.  I look at my arms and see nothing. Then I put my arm under the shining light. Small red lines appear on my forearm. I stare in shock.
A tear slides down my face slowly.
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?" I scream before I break down sobbing.
"Sweetie calm down." I hear the nurses muffled voice say before my world goes dark.

"I wonder when she'll wake up." I hear my mom say.
"I don't know, it's been 2 days," my dad whispers.                                                              
The same question keeps running through my head. Where am I, and why have I been asleep for 2 days? Nothing bad has happened, I think after I replay the past few days in my head.         
I slowly open my eyes. They meet my parents red puffy eyes.
"Mom. Dad. " I whisper. They look at me in shock and then engulf me in a huge hug. I sigh in relief.
"What's wrong with m-" I try to say before the doctor comes in the room.

"You're awake!" He says happily.
"Yeah." I say and then shrug.
"Just let me make sure you're all healthy, then you may go." He says with a big smile plastered on his face. 
"Okay. " I sigh.

2 hours later we're in the car driving home. The car is dead silence. We are all in fear to say the wrong thing.

We finally get home and we all go into the kitchen.
"Mom, dad." I say when the lift their heads up.
"Yes?" They say together.
"What's wrong with me?" I ask. Worried to hear the answer.                                               They look at each other then look up at me.

"Sarah...... You're bipolar." My mom says.