Have you ever watched someone walk towards you in slow motion but in all reality, they were walking just as fast as you or anyone else? I hadn’t until today. I blame it on the speed of my thoughts. When my mind races through my thoughts it makes my surroundings seem like they’re going in slow motion. My mind isn’t usually all over the place but it has been lately and I don’t know how to make it stop.

I have terrible eyesight, not legally blind but enough for someone to stand across a room and everyone thinks I’m glaring at them but really I just can’t tell who I’m looking at. So there he was walking towards me. My heart sped up, my thoughts sped up, my feet moving at a constant speed. Keep cool. Here it comes. He grins my direction. Keeps walking. That wasn’t so bad. It’s not over. Here she comes. Great. I try to make a waving gesture and a genuine smile. No response back. This was his girlfriend, she looks sad so I take a detour in the hall to catch up with her. I hate seeing people sad but I’m also nosey so I ask what’s wrong. She can barely get it out without croaking, “It’s over. We’re over.” Her eyes filled with tears, so what did I do you ask? I turned the other way.

I didn’t know know what to do. I should’ve asked if she wanted to talk. I have class anyway. Best friend award goes to me. That was sarcasm sorry I have dry humor I get along with a limited group of people, children and the elderly really. So let me explain my situation. I don’t know where to start but I’m in class now; a room full of kids my age, my thoughts louder than anyone or anything else. Wrong. There’s the tardy bell. My teacher begins to explain the assignment for the day. I really don’t know what she said but it’s quiet now and everyone’s working. Finally. So here I am. Seventeen years old stuck in a love triangle that I never asked to be in. Sort of exciting to watch but I blame myself for ruining their relationship. I also blame the fact that teenagers have overflowing hormones. Whatever. Not exactly sure where to start so I’ll start with the only thing I can think about right now. Him.

He’s 6’2, killer smile, listens to the Sex Pistols and The Ramones. Did I mention he was 6’2? Tall boys are so important. We’ve gone to school together as long as I can remember but I didn’t consider him as my type until I saw him at a bonfire a month ago. Until he approached me. I used to get butterflies and goosebumps when I thought about that night but now I just get angry. Angry at myself for being so naive and easy. I know what you’re thinking, “what a slut” right? I don’t regret the things I do but that doesn't mean I'm proud either. Back to my story, he came off so sweet but rugged. He was like a grown man but still my age, I loved it. I knew he had a girlfriend. I knew he had a bad reputation. I honestly couldn’t tell you what was going through my mind. I’m going to keep this pg. I don’t know what to call him so we can give him a new name for this story. Whip. That fits him perfectly because he’s as quick, and smart as a whip. So Whip came up to me at the the bonfire and asked, “Do you want to go somewhere?” Seemed kind of random besides the fact that I didn’t take my eyes off of him that night and he knew it. I panicked. “Yeah sure,” I couldn’t believe he understood me I said yes so fast. So we had disappeared together and showed back up an hour later. I came to the bonfire alone because I am a loner. By choice? I don’t want to talk about it. The first person besides Whip to come up to me all night was Whip’s girlfriend. She was way prettier than me. Olive skin, piercing green eyes, cute freckles, long brown curly hair. She sort of skips up to me all cheerful like I wanted to join the cheer squad. That she was the captain of not to mention the best one. Actually the more I think about it-it was more like a stumble skip. She smelt like victoria’s secret and beer.
“Hi, my names Cara!”
“Uhm, hi.” I was so confused as to why she was being so nice she’s never acknowledged me ever.
“You’re Jacee, right?”
Where was she going with this? “Yeah.”
“We have those nursing classes together don't we?”
“Yeah we do.” I was so stale I’m not sure how, but we kept a conversation and actually became friends than night despite her puking on my brand new vans. Oh and the fact that her boyfriend of 8 months cheated on her with me ten minutes beforehand.

So as the weeks went on I got to know Cara’s bubbly personality. We started to study, eat out, sleep over, and of course us being the stereotypical reckless teens, partied together. Who would’ve guessed? Care Blaine and me, Jacee Port new best friends. I felt good. She brought me more joy than anyone else. We were totally different but she just understood me to the core. The more I got to know her the more clear it became to me that I was doing something evil.

I also have a small confession, as I’ve said before I don’t have a lot of friends that’s how I was able to juggle my double life. By daytime I was Cara’s new best friend by night I was Whip’s new mistress. I kept telling myself if I didn’t catch feelings I could end the fling anytime I wanted. I knew the whole thing was s***** on my part but I really couldn’t stop seeing the both of them. It’s not anything I ever wanted to happen, it just did.

Sex wasn’t what made me fall for Whip. It was when he started to open up to me. Not just little things like when we shared things we enjoyed or our childhood memories. It was his raw emotion and his pure thoughts that he shared with me. Personally I am not very trusting so that was a game changer. It just meant a lot to me. I truly admired every little thing about him after that point. That’s when I fell for Whip Dayton. He started to say things like ‘he wanted to be with me’ but ‘his parents loved Cara’ (Who doesn’t?). Whip would ask me deep questions that I could think about for a week and a half and I would still be left without a presentable answer. I loved that about him. I also hated it.

Its 7 a.m.
I need to get up for school.
I hate mondays. Whip’s calling.
“Hello?” I said, but my voice is scratchy and quiet in the morning don’t ask why. I’ll never know.
“Hey, uh goodmorning” He seemed pretty awake.
“What’s up?” It was too early for this.
“I cherish you.” he blurted.
“What?” I was so confused.
“I said I cherish you.” He said a little louder; a touch more confident this time.
“I heard you but why are you telling me this?”
“I also respect you. I’m gonna prove it.”
He hung up.

This boy has had me confused since the moment I met him, Why would someone like him get involved with someone like me? My mind wasn’t thinking at a million miles per hour at that point but once I finally got out of bed there it went. That was this morning. So here I am trying to gather some kind of thought so I can deal with the situation but it’s nowhere near over.

You probably would say drop Cara. It was a s****y thing to do but, love is love right? You’re absolutely right. But I’m not done telling my story. I can’t be done because it’s just begun. I'm not only in love with Whip Dayton. I’m in love with Cara Blaine.