Welcome to my funeral.
I hope the drive over wasn't too exhausting; I wouldn't want to be an inconvienance. Sisters, don't fight you can have my college money and all my old clothes; I know that's your priority. Did you have a good time shopping for new dresses for this special occasion? Just throw away those old books and journals, they didn’t matter to me anyway. Brother, I’m sorry I don’t have anything for you other than silent car rides and subdued emotions, but you can have my one pair of diamond earrings; maybe your girlfriend will enjoy them. Mother, you say i stopped loving you when I started writing in a notebook instead of talking. Please don’t read it because you might regret asking me what I was always writing. Father, I warn you not to look through my closet or my photo albums because you’ll find a girl you don’t recognize as your daughter. My family, I regret letting you find me in a black casket. Please, I beg you, don't hurt me more in my death by grieving for the daughter you always wanted, but never had in me.

Thank you for attending, drive home safely.