I never expected to make it this far. I will soon get on the ice to compete in the figure skating world championships, this year taking place in Italy. I am only 16 years old and if I skate to my full capability than I will go on to compete in the Olympics. This would be a huge accomplishment for me, but I never would have made it this far without the support of my grandmother. She has always been there for me to motivate me and be my number one fan. She has been at every single competition since I was 6 years old. Lately, she has been in more pain than usual. My grandma suffers from breast cancer and has been for 13 years. She has been cleared 3 times but it has come back each time. Sometimes she gets short of breath easily and her muscles are getting very weak. This worries me very much because I do not know what I would do without her. She is my good luck charm. Before I step on the ice at each competition we look at eachother and she gives me this confident and heart warming smile that takes all the nerves out of me and gives me complete confidence.

It’s March 25th and tomorrow I will compete in the competition that could change my life forever. Early on in the day, my personal trainer and I rented a workout room for a stretch and strengthening class to prepare me for my practice ice. Afterwards, my grandma and I go out to lunch at a small restaurant off the corner of the street our hotel is on. Grandma orders a sandwich and she orders me a chicken salad and says "you have to start watching what you eat Ella". I rolled my eyes at her and we kept talking. We sit and talk for a while as we eat our lunch. She asks me questions about how I am feeling and how confident I am about my skating. Then we head over to the rink I will be competing in to check out the ice, locker rooms, and my competition, of course. I then change into my practice clothes and start talking to my coach while I warm up. She reassures me that I am one of the strongest skaters at this competition and not to pay much attention to the other girls on the ice. I grew fond of the ice as soon as I stepped onto it. I looked over at my grandmother sitting in the stands, she had the same grin on her face as always. My practice ice was one of the better ones I’ve had. I landed the majority of my jumps and my spins were faster than ever. My coach told me if I skated with the amount of confidence I had today I would win the gold medal.

I finished the day before my competition off with relaxation in our hotel room and a nice dinner, continuously thinking of the next day. When I woke up the next morning I thought to myself  "today's the day". My grandma was there in my hotel room with me ready to get me ready and take me to the rink with my mother. I hopped in the backseat of our rented car with my mom and grandma in the front seat. I put in my headphones and began visualizing my program. It was about a half an hour drive from the hotel to the rink so I did all my visualization techniques my sports psychologist taught me. We arrived at rink at about 9:45 and I was to compete at 12:05. I went and changed into my competition dress. My grandmas facial expression every time I put this dress on was worth all the money in the world. I went on and started warming up and every once in a while I would watch some of my friends from my rink compete. Before I knew it, it was time to start getting my skates on and getting ready to compete. While getting my skates on my coach began talking to me and telling me all the details that I had to remember while skating my program.

I step on the ice for warm up and got the same rush of energy I get every time. I get off the ice to let the first skater compete. I never watch my competition, instead I visualized my routine. It's time for me to get on the ice. I step on while the crowd cheers. I get in my opening position and look at my grandma as I always do and she gives my the heart warming look she gives me every time. I begin when my music starts and immediately go into my first combination spin and it was one of the best and fastest ones I've done. I continued skating landing all of my jumps then I go into my footwork. This is a harder part of my program because of the intricate steps within and it is difficult for me to slow down enough to complete it as I am told. My nerves make it very difficult for me to continue but I push through. I end my program strong with a clean program. The crowd is not cheering as much as normal. I begin to look around and see everyone moving around in a panic. I look at my grandma and mother but cannot spot them because there is a crowd around them. I rush off the ice, afraid something has happened to my grandma. I have a million thought rushing through my head of what could've happened. Since my grandma has cancer the possibilities are endless.

Unsure of what to do, I stand with a blank stare on my face. Within five minutes the paramedics rush in causing everyone around my grandma to move away quickly. My mom comes down from the stands and grabs my hand she informs me that my grandma lost consciousness and fell when she stood up. She ordered me to go take my skates off and change quickly and we would meet my grandma at the hospital. I run to the locker rooms and change as fast as I can. I found my mom outside the main doors of the rink with tears in her eyes, but I was scared to say anything. The drive to the hospital was silent. Neither of us knew what to say. We run into the hospital and the nurse quickly directs us to the room my grandmother is staying in. Before entering the room the doctor is eager to tell us "Her cancer has spread throughout her body. She only has a few hours left". My mother instantly falls to the floor sobbing. Again, I stand there with a blank stare on my face, tears building up in my eyes. I always knew this day would come but I thought she would have more time. She will never see me graduate high school, or see me get married, and my children will never get to meet this incredible woman who has impacted my life so greatly. But despite all these thoughts, I wanted to spend my grandmas last few hours by her side. I grab the door handle, hesitant to open it, but I hold my tears back and open the door. I see my grandmother laying there so innocently and I can't help but cry. 

My phone rang and I looked down to see my coach calling me. Without saying a word as I answered she began the conversation by saying “You got second! We are going to the olympics!”. I said thank you and hung up the phone. Nothing could change this devastated and depressed mood I was in. I sit next to my grandma for hours as she sleeps. The nurses come in every few minutes to check up on her. After a while, my mom comes in holding back her tears. I have never seen my mother in such pain. She begins talking to me as if nothing was wrong. I tell her I got second and she grins at me, although you can tell she has more important things running through her mind. The nurse comes back in and looks at the computer screen and on her face you can see her panic. She opens the doors and yells for doctors to come in. My mom stands up and goes over to the nurse and says “What is going on? Is she going to be okay?”

The nurse then says “Ma’am we are doing the best we can, please take your daughter and go to the waiting room. We need this room clear for the doctors.”

My mom hesitates but I pull her out of the room. We see doctors run in and my heart starts beating fast, but I know my moms is beating faster. We go to the front desk and as what is happening. The receptionists repetitively tell us to sit down and then ignore us. We sit there, waiting for hours. Waiting for news, waiting for something to happen, anything. Finally, the doctors come out. Dr. Bailey says “I’m sorry. There was nothing we could do. There was no hope. The cancer had already spread too far.” This time my mom and I both began sobbing. She was gone. My loving grandmother was gone forever.