“Don’t do it, Alex!” My father said to me when I threatened to call the police. I watched him as he continued to smoke his joint. Each puff he took felt as if he was ripping out part of my soul. This addict did not even realize the fact that he was tearing apart his family, and all of our futures. But it’s not like he even cares. The hate I had for the man that was supposed to be my dad was unexplainable. I could not deal with the harassment and pain I have felt and gone through because of him any longer. I picked up the phone. As my fingers touched the numbers 9-1- my father grabbed it from my hands before I could do anything else.

“Hey Alex!” I said.
“Oh, hey Kate. What’s up?”
“Are you going to lacrosse practice today?”
“Uh... no, I can’t go today, I have a lot of work to catch up on, sorry! I will text you later.”
Alex has been my best friend ever since the first day of third grade when I moved from Texas to North Carolina. She’s always had everything going for her; an honors student, captain of all sports teams she was on, and the prettiest girl with the best personality. I just wondered why she wanted to be alone so much lately. She never missed lacrosse practice. It just seemed a bit unexpected to me.

“Okay, I will let coach know.” I responded to her.
Although I did not want to lie to Kate about skipping practice, I just couldn’t stay in that school for long. Everyone thought of me as the idea of “perfect” and my life was so great. Because no one, not even my best friend, knew the real me, or what I had to go through. Their worlds were full of sunshine, and mine only rain.
I got home, and I saw just the same as everyday. My father was passed out on the couch. And my little brother, Connor, was upstairs trying to put together his puzzle. When I started doing my homework, my father woke up, high, as usual. But today wasn’t the same as it usually is. The look on his face was a pure image of rage.
“Alex I do so much for you and you repay me with nothing. You can never do anything right. How about you just drop out of high school because you aren’t going to be able to do anything with your life? All you are is a worthless failure.”
Before I could say anything, he left.

The words rushed through my mind over and over again. I ran away from him as fast as I could. Sometimes everything just becomes too much. When will I be good enough? When will people actually like me for who I am? Everyone only likes me because of what they think I am, and what they think I have. But no one sees who I truly am, alone. I am nothing. My father is right; I am worthless. I don’t deserve to be living and it’s not like anyone would even cared if I never showed up again. I looked into the glass mirror in my room. All I saw was a fragile girl, that had been shattered into pieces. I could never live up to the person people thought I was.
I thought it was strange that Alex never texted me after lacrosse practice like she said she would because that’s just not like her. I decided to call her to see if she wanted me to pick her up to go to get some frozen yogurt just like we used to always do. Alex didn’t seem right to me so this could cheer her up. But when she didn’t pick up her phone it made me really nervous. She always had her phone in her hand so why would she be ignoring me? Did I do something to make her upset? I wanted to go over to her house just to talk to her and make sure everything was okay.

“That’s it.” I thought. I went and got a piece of paper with a pen, and wrote down everything. Someone will finally be able to see the pain I was feeling that was hidden behind my smile. It was my response to all the things my father had said to me. I walked into my closet and took the rope that I used to always go rock climbing with my dad with. “You were right Dad, I am not worth it.” I whispered under my breath.

Alex’s house was less than two miles away from mine. It was the nicest house on their street. But when I got there I saw a shattered glass from a broken window. “Weird.” I said. Only Alex’s car was there, so I assumed she was home alone. Without knocking, I walked into her house. After looking around, I noticed Alex wasn’t downstairs. As I started to walk up the stairs, I called Alex’s name, but no answer. “Wow she must be really angry at me if she’s not even responding to me.” I finally got to her room, and noticed a note on the door. My heart stopped, and tears streamed down my cheeks. I opened the door, only to see the most heartbreaking moment of my life. “Don’t do it, Alex!