You can’t see them, but they’re there. The warm tears that flow down my cheeks. The rain comes down in sheets, and I can barely see the name etched in stone a few feet from my face. The natural glow of lightning illuminates the barren landscape all around me. I don’t know how long I’ve sat here, and I don’t know how many more hours will pass until my emotions stabilize. However, I know I will be starved of your presence forever. Longing. The small paper, filled with hand-written and affection-rich words, is now glued to the fabric of my pocket, and means nothing, as it is nothing. Not anymore, at least.

I think I see you, but when I clear my eyes of the long, stringy tendrils consisting of my hair, you vanish, quick as lightning. My wide, eager eyes fade into nothingness as I stare at the falling raindrops that look to pull me deeper into my despair. My head knows better, but my heart doesn’t. You took up everything I carried with me - the happiness, anger, love, and frustration - and it will never be the same. It’s all torn and tattered, a sickly shade of grey. The grass around me tries to comfort me by gracefully tickling my bare arms and legs, but to no avail. Then, the tender blades attempt to wipe you from my memory. Yet that’s something that heals on its own time. Time. Time taking its time. Its own painful, excruciating time wiping away the memories. The smiles. The laughter. But also the tears. The endless tubs of ice cream. The dorky grins and the fear-filled jumps of a scary movie. I’ve waited so long to see you again, and this happens.

I long to see you. I wish that you weren’t so far away. I contemplate joining you. But then I remember what you wanted. What we wanted. One ray of hope against the darkness of the unsaid. It’s too much. I break down, sobbing. My back rigid with the violent and desperate cries of the past, present, and future. I’m cold. Stolid. Everything around me. But somehow this place, the place of despair, pining, and loss, feels like home. Maybe it’s because you’re here, maybe it’s because we fell apart here. The last time I saw the hopeful gleam in your eyes. The way you broke my heart.

Shaking my head, fresh tears join the countless others. I feel phantom limbs wrap around my shoulders, and phantom lips enchanting me once again with honey words and countless reassurances. I beg you to never let me go. I know nothing more than this moment. Just the two of us, not worrying. A warm smirk breaks through the wall of anguish and grief, but not for long. It disappears as quickly as it came, and I’m left grasping for words. Thin air whistles through my fingers as I try to make you come back. However, you’re already gone. After you leave, I crash. The train that ran off of its tracks, wonderstruck.

Suddenly, I jump. Alive with the million pinpricks given to me by my friend lightning. I relive and flash through the memories of the past; the ones I kept so hard from coming back. The hopeful future that will never be. It seems like an eternity, but only lasts a few seconds as my now lifeless body falls to join yours. Two long-gone spirits now intertwine and greet each other with three casually cruel words: 

Sad.

Beautiful.

Tragic.