Gone | Teen Ink


December 21, 2008
By Madi_Jewels SILVER, Mount Laurel, New Jersey
Madi_Jewels SILVER, Mount Laurel, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 46 comments

I sit waiting in the cold room. People are sitting in blue plastic chairs all around me. I can’t help but think why they are here. An elderly man is sitting next to us. He’s grasping his wife’s hand and reading a newspaper. I look to the left. A boy scout is sitting there reading a magazine. Across from us an older girl, maybe 13, is sitting in a wheel chair with her foot up high. And here I am; sitting right in the middle of all of them just wanting to hold my mommy.

My father walks up to the front desk to ask the receptionist a question. Mommy is a receptionist. She works at a pediatrician. She brought me there a few times when I was younger to help her get work done and hand out stickers to the kids as they left. She’d smile at me and brush her fingers over my hair. She’d tell me, “Good job, Lucy.” and continue on working.

He whispers something to her. Something I can’t hear. I want to know what’s happening. I’m scared, sitting there all alone with no one to hold on to or to cry on. My daddy is a tall man with muscles and all. He walks back to me with his shoulders sagging and his face droopy. He puts his arm around me as I sit there wondering. A sound is heard and I look to the doors where my brother, Adam, walked in. He’s rushing, taking long strides. I don’t know why he’s so worked up. His face is red and he has a tear rolling down his cheek. The water glistens in the lights coming from the ceiling. He walks over to Daddy and sits next to him. He looks around at the other people as they read or talk with family.

The receptionist calls Daddy back up to the desk. I can see from here that her eyes are wet, that her lips are curved inward, and that her face is pale. She opens her mouth a few times but no sounds come out. I can tell because she’d open it and then immediately close it. My father is hunched over on the counter. He is talking I can tell. She opens her mouth for the fourth time and this time sound comes out. I didn’t know then but, she says to Daddy, “She’s… gone.”

The author's comments:
This is a semi- true stoy

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This article has 12 comments.

Zxarra GOLD said...
on Nov. 19 2011 at 2:12 pm
Zxarra GOLD, Fitzwilliam, New Hampshire
14 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
Earth without art is "eh"

That was so good! I know a lot of people have said that already but that's only because it's true.

In your comment you said this was a semi-true story. I wonder which parts are true... you don't have to say , I was just wondering.

on Sep. 18 2009 at 3:44 pm
Madi_Jewels SILVER, Mount Laurel, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 46 comments
wow----- i wonder

CandyKimi123 said...
on Sep. 18 2009 at 2:18 pm

Wow that was really good. I didn't know you could write that well. That book your writing better be just as good.

-Mystery Friend

(guess who at school!)

on Sep. 17 2009 at 4:05 pm
Madi_Jewels SILVER, Mount Laurel, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 46 comments
aww thanks so much!!!!!!! yeah the one page page turner!!!!!!! XDDDD

on Sep. 16 2009 at 10:15 pm
NoRulesJustWrite PLATINUM, Ada, Michigan
21 articles 5 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Stay happy, stay weird, and don't let anyone take away your smile.

Oh, goodness!! My eyes teared up!! No joke!! It was short, but you wrote it so well that it didn't matter its length. If it were a book, it would have been a page turner :) Keep it up!! You have some mad talent, too :)


ritarocksfan said...
on Feb. 6 2009 at 6:05 pm
that was really good, but here's a tip: it seemed a little short, add some more flash back. Otherwise that was really good!

airjordan132 said...
on Jan. 18 2009 at 3:27 pm
AMAZING! I wanted to read more and more! u r better than a lot of writers out there! Great job!

gymnastbabe said...
on Jan. 18 2009 at 3:25 pm
this was absolutley amazing! I loved how you went back in time, I want more! Get ready to see Madi J. on shelves in book stores!

dancer4life said...
on Jan. 14 2009 at 9:09 pm
that was dead awesome!!! i can't believe its a "semi-true story"!!! i wish i could write like you!!!

tweetyluvr said...
on Jan. 14 2009 at 9:08 pm
that was amazing!!!! i <3 how you made the character flash back!!! ur an amazing author!!!!

Kris said...
on Jan. 11 2009 at 4:41 am
Maddi that was so good! I made me want to read more and more! Honestly!!!!


on Jan. 9 2009 at 12:29 am