Taylor had known Ellie since she was little. Their mothers were friends since high school, so it seemed natural to have their children hang out too. Since then, they were inseparable. They stuck together through the break up of Ellie’s parents to the births of Taylor’s three younger siblings. When Taylor turned sixteen, Ellie was diagnosed with depression. Her best friend depressed? That’s crazy! That is not the ball of energy that I know is Ellie, she thought. Ellie began to push Taylor away. Taylor felt like her heart was being stomped on a hundred times. Her best friend was pushing her away! Ellie started hanging out with a new girl named Jasmine. Taylor was green with envy every time she saw them together. Why would Ellie just push all her friends away, only to get close to a girl she just meet? 

Ellie was always a showstopper. She always wore her hair in pink waves that fell almost to her waist. She towered most girls with her 5’10” stature, but she was shorter than most of the guys. She was not a person to be easily forgotten. Winged eyeliner and lip color that changed everyday and being bubbly was definitely something that wasn’t ignored.
Taylor blended into the background. She was tiny compared to most girls, only standing at 5’3”. Her hair was a dirty blonde and it only fell to a little bit past her shoulders. She preferred being unheard and unseen. Taylor feels like a child who has lost their mom in a supermarket without Ellie’s laughter or her teasing. She often spends her days staring off into space. Everybody is concerned about her, but every time they bring it up she just shrugs them off. When Taylor talks to people, she always has this far away look in her eyes like she’s a million miles away.
Ellie didn’t mean to push Taylor away. She really didn’t! She just couldn’t handle the lingering worried gaze that Taylor seemed to always direct at her. Ellie couldn’t take it anymore. She snapped at Taylor, telling her to give her some space. Since then, it’s only been Jasmine and her. She told Jasmine about the demons that whisper and leave sharp reminders behind on her skin. Ellie’s demons like to whisper things like ‘you don’t belong here’ and ‘no one wants you here’. They dig their silver claws in her skin, leaving harsh red lines scattered across it. They try to make a masterpiece, but they only leave a storm behind of tears and scars.
Jasmine. The girl who took my best friend away! Taylor thinks bitterly. She can’t accept it. She won’t accept it. Ellie is-well was-her best friend. Taylor was bitter like a sour green apple. Her heart felt like it had been ripped out and stomped on by the football team. It’s been almost a year since they talked. Every day, she gets more and more hopeless. She can’t really help it. How can someone just go from talking to someone everyday to not talking to him or her for a year? Taylor was torn. She wants to confront Ellie, but she’s scared that if she does Ellie would hate her for it. 
Ellie can’t handle it anymore.  Her body becomes even more littered as each day passes. She feels like she can’t breathe, like the closing of someone's fist around her throat. It feels like her loudest scream is merely a whisper. She can’t take it. She just wants to be normal again. Ellie feels like the world is against her. All she wants it to be able to actually smile not a fake ‘yeah, I’m fine don’t worry about me’ smile but a smile saying ‘I am actually happy to be alive’.
Taylor feels like she is going out of her mind. All she can think is that Ellie hates her with a burning passion. Taylor often sits on her rooftop looking out at the city. Taylor and her mother don’t talk about how she sits on the rooftop until the sun is peaking out from under the horizon. Renee sees that Taylor stopped eating, no matter how small the meal is. Taylor just wants to claw her eyes out. Why do I deserve this? What did I do that pissed off the universe?
Renee is the one person who her daughter went to for everything. She felt as if her heart had been electrocuted then broke into little pieces. Renee notices how the dark circles under her daughter’s eyes are getting darker and her eyes seem to be more sunken in. Renee is at a lost as to what she should do, so she just stands back and lets them figure it out themselves.
It was April 23rd; the day was rainy and depressing. Taylor was walking through the rain on her way to school; the rain made her body feel numb after awhile. She let the rain’s bitter bite caress her skin as she sluggishly made her way through the rain. She saw Ellie not far in front of her. Walking as if she was in a trance of some sort. What is she doing? Where is she heading? She turned the corner and started heading to the town’s bridge.
“Ellie?” she questioned. Ellie kept heading toward the town’s bridge even as Taylor called her name. She stopped walking as she watched Ellie step onto the ledge.
“ELLIE!” Taylor yelled as she raced toward her.
“Leave me alone, Taylor. I mean it. You don’t know a single thing about what I’m going through.”
“Ellie, come on stop being crazy! Everything is going to get better. I can help you. Please don’t jump.” Taylor’s heart raced as she tried to convince Ellie to get off the ledge and come to her.
“Oh, you think I’m crazy? Ha like you didn’t already know that.”
“What happened to you? We were best friends. Then, one day you decide to exclude me from your life. What happened to never leaving each other’s sides? What happened? You use to call me late at night because your mom and dad were fighting, we’d talk on the phone until one of us fell asleep. I was there when your dad left your mom. I was there when you almost died from your surgery. I never left your side, so why did you leave mine?” Taylor cried out. Her brown eyes shimmered with unshed tears. She breathed harshly as she began to cry.
“It’s called growing up! Maybe, you should learn to do so. Being stuck in the past won’t help you get far in the future.”
Taylor looked at the girl that she had known her whole life. How could someone so sweet just become so bitter? She was astonished. This girl went from someone she knew like the back of her hand to someone that you would pass on the street.
“What happened to you?” Taylor asked as she stepped closer to Ellie.
“I grew up and it seems like you didn’t” Ellie announced as she took a step closer to the churning waters below.
“Ellie? ELLIE! What are you doing?” Taylor looked behind her to see Jasmine. She was standing in the rain with a polka dotted umbrella. She kept walking closer to Ellie, just completely ignoring the crying girl beside her.
“Jas. I just can’t take it anymore. I’m tired of everything. I don’t want to do this anymore.” Jasmine looked at Ellie with a fierceness that I did not know of. When I blinked next, she was hugging Jasmine. And bawling…? What happened that makes her feel this way? Why can’t I help her? I just want my best friend back. Taylor glanced at them one more time before turning around and heading toward the school.
Ellie looked after her old best friend as Taylor made her descent back to the school. She kept hugging Jasmine even after Taylor left her sight.
“Let’s go. You are in no shape to be in public right now.” Ellie nodded, feeling numb after everything. She didn’t mean to say those things to her. The words just spilled out of her mouth without her brain’s approval.
Taylor sat in her English class, looking out at the bridge that was a couple of minutes from the school. Why would she want to jump? What makes her feel so low that she wants to take her own life?
“Taylor?” Taylor looked blankly at the scolding woman in front of her. The teacher lifted a single eyebrow at Taylor, obviously waiting for Taylor to answer her question.
“We’re waiting!”
“I don’t know.”
“Typical for you. Never paying attention to anyone ever. When are you going to start caring for anything besides your thoughts?”
Mrs. Walsh stood there, face getting redder by the second because of Taylor’s lack of attention to the lesson. She wore a maxi dress today, patterned with stripes. These stripes were bright blue and green. Her slightly greyed hair twisted in a French twist with bits falling out.  Her lips were painting with a light pink with a hint of shimmer. Taylor felt bad for Mrs. Walsh. She was one of her best students and now all she does is daydream.
Some movie with slow sounding music drifted through the girl’s room. She sat unmoving on her window seal, staring out at the rain. A blur walked through the pouring rain as if they weren’t affected by it. Ellie looked blankly as this blur walked toward her house. A couple moments later, the shrill ringing sounded through the house. Ellie walked slowly to the door, hoping whoever was there would leave. Right before she opened the door, the shrill ringing was sounded again. She opened door slowly to not let in the biting cold.
“Ellie? Can we talk?”
There stood Taylor soaked to the bone, wearing a hoodie and jeans.
“What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to apologize for earlier….”
“Let’s not.” Ellie interrupted. Taylor looked sadly at her before she turned around and went back the way she came. Ellie watched from inside the old house. The house was one of the oldest in the neighborhood.  The house was now an off-white color with tan shutters and roof. It was a two-story house with a small front yard, but a large enough backyard to house a play set with swings. A play set from when they were children sits, abandoned, getting rained on.

    ~Flashback~

“Come on Ellie!” bright-eyed Taylor yelled to the other girl.
“I’m coming, hold on!” Taylor laughed as she watched Ellie do another cartwheel.
“Mom going to get mad at us.” Taylor said, on the verge of desperation. Ellie looked at her best friend after one last cartwheel and smiled.
“Ok, alright.” Ellie walked slowly just to irritate Taylor like bug bites do after scratching them. Taylor rolled her eyes at Ellie, and then dashed up toward the white house. Ellie’s mom stood looking out the window, watching the two girls play on the play set. Jane, Ellie’s mom, stood with a small frown as Taylor dashed in breathless.
“Come along. Taylor, your mom will be here shortly. And Ellie,” Jane turned to look at the small figure standing in the doorway, “please go wash up. Your father will be home soon.” Ellie nodded quickly, her curls bouncing along wildly. Renee walked to Jane and they began to whisper back and forth. Jane’s whispers sounding heart wrenching and Renee’s sounding like she had just heard that one of her family members had died. Taylor walked slowly to the two whispering mothers; she did not want to go home. Why can’t she stay the night? They don’t have school tomorrow, seeing as it was Friday.
Later that night, around 8:30, Taylor got the call from a hysteric Ellie. Her parents had broken up and her dad was moving away. Taylor ran to her mother, who was sitting in the recliner reading, and begged for Ellie to stay the night. When Ellie came over, all they did was sit in Taylor’s room and cry. They weren’t really the same after that.

    ~Flashback over~

Ellie sat in her bedroom. She ran a single finger down the stuffed animal’s face. It was the only thing her father ever gave her. The stuffed animal was a piglet that was missing one of ears. She breathed unsurely, but got up anyway. Ellie walked reluctantly over to her cell phone that was resting on top of her dresser.
Taylor walked quickly down the street. Head hung low and tears spilling over her cheeks. Why do I have to be so stupid? Her cell phone rang with an achingly familiar ringtone. Bulletproof Love played softly from her jean’s pocket.
“Hello?”
“Taylor? I’m sorry for not giving you a chance to apologize earlier. I actually wanted to apologize to you. I’ve been thinking about it for awhile now.” Taylor stood, in the pouring rain, shocked. Why would Ellie call and apologize?
“Hello? Taylor?”
“Yeah. Sorry I am shocked to say in the least.”
“How about we meet up at that coffee shop that you love? Hmm?”
“Yeah. I’ll be there soon.” Taylor turned around and headed toward the coffee shop.
Ellie stood in the coffee shop waiting for Taylor. She looked up as the bell over the door rang. Taylor slowly made her way toward her. She breathed in a shaky breath and smiled unsurely to herself.
“Why all of a sudden do you want to apologize? You could have done it in the year we weren’t talking.”
“Well…about that. That’s why I wanted to apologize. You see, I been thinking about this whole situation and realized that I never took your feelings into account.”
“I accept your apology. Are you going to go back to ignoring me or can we actually going to talk again?”
“I plan on being friends with you if that’s okay.” Taylor smiled and hugged Ellie so tightly that it was on the side of painful. Her face split into a wide grin; her whole face glowing. Taylor sniffled a few times before she pulled away from Ellie, leaving a small wet spot on her jacket. Taylor laughed wetly and wiped the remaining tears from her eyes and her cheeks. Ellie rolled her crystal blue eyes fondly at the crying girl and hugged Taylor tightly. This time Ellie pulled away first. She smiled sweetly at Taylor before leading her to the line in front of the coffee shop counter. They might not have the best foundation for a renewed friendship, but it was as good of a start as any.