Through Annabelle's Eyes | Teen Ink

Through Annabelle's Eyes

November 26, 2008
By Kiana Baker GOLD, Alto, Texas
Kiana Baker GOLD, Alto, Texas
12 articles 0 photos 2 comments

The child sits neatly at the edge of the pond, her pretty bare feet dangling beneath the water. Her young green eyes are reflected vaguely, her dark hair, long and tangled, resting on both her shoulders. She looks down at her cotton dress, smeared with grass stains and dirt, amazingly a dress that was once a pretty yellow. She smiles to herself, wondering what her mother would say about her tomboyish ways. A moment later she dismisses the thought, waving it away like an annoying insect. She stares into the sparkling water, so overwhelmingly inviting, she decides she can no longer resist. In one swift movement, (soon to be regretted) she holds up her hands and allows herself to slide off the dirt and into the water.
She laughs out loud, splashing her face, silently concluding that this is worth any given punishment. Pulling her hair back, as if it wasn’t already soaking wet, she dunks her head in, again, and then once more. Between the trees, she notices the sun slowly beginning to float downwards. Reluctantly, she pulls herself out of the pond and begins to walk the path she desperately hopes will lead her home.
After just enough walking to make herself hungry, she sees the pink flowers of her grandmother’s garden. Now, she begins to run, stopping abruptly when she gets to the back door. Surprisingly, it swings open, stopping just short of the little girl’s nose.
“I fell into the pond.” she lies immediately.
“I’m sure you did, Annabelle,” Her grandmother’s voice is sarcastic.
She takes a step forward, to be rudely stopped by a chubby hand in the middle of her chest.

“Nope. I want you to leave those shoes on the porch and take your dress off.”
“Take my dress off? But, Grandma Jean, then I’ll be standing here in my…in my underwear!”
“Perhaps you should have thought of that before you jumped into the pond.” Her grandmother attempts to be firm in her response, but the rehearsed innocence in the child’s features force her to suppress a chuckle.
Shyly, Annabelle peels the wet dress off her pale skin, and leaves it lying in the grass. Her cheeks turn pink, and then a bright red as she moves past her grandmother and into the house. Her body is scrawny and awkward, making her grandmother smile as she dashes towards the back of the house, dripping drawers and all.
“No dessert tonight!” she calls after the child.
When she gets to her bedroom, she lies across the bed and takes a deep breath. The room is large, with a wooden floor and walls, yet surprisingly empty for a child of only ten. Indeed, besides her bed and a small chest of drawers, the only thing left for the eyes was a portrait that hung opposite the window.
The picture was of her mother. In the same, bare room, she sits at the window with one hand extended, as if reaching for some beautiful, veiled angel… Her clothes are tattered and her hair is tangled, but her eyes are brilliant and green, strikingly identical to Annabelle’s. When she sees the picture she wants to smile, but then she remembers… She waves the thoughts away like annoying insects.

The author's comments:
This is actually the beginning of a book that I am currently writing. Writing is my passion, so I really hope you enjoy this. PLEASE, make comments. I really appreciate any form of criticism.

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This article has 7 comments.

on Feb. 12 2013 at 5:06 pm
Maggie99 SILVER, Versailles, Kentucky
6 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. -Robert Frost

Wow, that is really heart-melting. I look forward to seeing more of your work. Good job.

LovesToWrite said...
on Jan. 2 2012 at 6:07 am
This is just remarkable. Very well written. I'm in awe :)

on Sep. 16 2011 at 4:37 pm
AlwaysDanceInTheRain SILVER, Sidney, Nebraska
8 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everything happens for a reason.

Amazing! Such a pure, carefree feel to it! It reminds me a bit of Little Women or Anne of Green Gables. Superb job! I love it!

VanillaDee said...
on May. 13 2011 at 7:59 pm
VanillaDee, Dunedin, Other
0 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?

If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

I loved this snippet of the book you are writing! I would love to hear the rest of it if you decide to publish it on here. I was just wondering, what time period is this story set it?

on Jan. 23 2011 at 5:32 pm
Purple.Ink SILVER, San Diego, California
7 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If there's a book you really want to read but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." - Toni Morrison

I love the simile comparing thoughts to annoying insects. And the protagonist already seems like a likable character. Better than my work... but then again I just started writing (like, two weeks ago). Anyway, amazing stuff!

nutmeg212 GOLD said...
on Mar. 21 2010 at 10:50 am
nutmeg212 GOLD, Coventry, Rhode Island
11 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't worry about it." -V.Z.

it is really good. i love the detail. keep on writing

on Jan. 17 2009 at 5:07 am
this is pretty good. kinda has that classic feel to it. i like it.