Chance (Part 1) | Teen Ink

Chance (Part 1)

February 16, 2014
By holly1999 GOLD, Middlesbrough, Other
holly1999 GOLD, Middlesbrough, Other
12 articles 8 photos 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
'There was no need to clarify my finger snap, the implication was clear in the snap itself' - Magnus Bane

Tightening around my neck, the thick metal chain was cold and heavy on my aching shoulders.


Trembling like a leaf in the wind; I leapt forward at the violent shout – only to receive another strong, painful pull on my neck. As usual.

Like furious waves crashing around my head, terrifying shouts attacked my ears. Cowering, I moved backwards until I was trapped by the rough brick wall. I’ll never forget the powerful, terrible expression on the man’s face as he strode dangerously towards me.

Why me? It’s always me.

A whine escaped my lips as I felt my paws give way. A mattress of stone, the hard, unforgiving ground rushed up to break my fall. I’m just a dog; what have I done wrong?





Stumbling through the black night; I pulled my thin jacket around me in a futile attempt to stop the harsh rain tearing at my skin. Aimlessly. Miserably. Hopelessly. I continued wandering the streets even though my legs were on fire and my brain screamed at me to stop. Soaking through my coat, the water daggers drew blood when they hit my skin.

Why did I argue with my step-dad?

Every time we fight – every single time – I tell myself that I won’t do it again; she would have wanted us to support each other. But who cares? It’s not like she’s ever going to come back…

The author's comments:
I wrote this a while ago and I'm not sure whether to continue with it or not.

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This article has 1 comment.

on Feb. 23 2014 at 8:17 am
BlackbeltJames GOLD, Reading, Other
14 articles 0 photos 193 comments

Favorite Quote:
Isaac Asimov - "Intelligence is an accident of evolution, and not necessarily an advantage.”

This is either a good opening or a good flash fiction in itself. I liked how you left out the important informtion that you were actually a dog until halfway through. I would suggest misleading the reader further, so if you continue this then drag it on a bit before revealing the truth. I once read a Roald Dahl story about a boy with his aunt on a farm and they never ate meat, and when he left her he tried it, he loved it so he went to find where it came from. With other people crowded around they were hearded through a meat factory. suddenly he was chained up and slaughtered. They were in fact pigs the whole time. If you make it like that it would be amazing, and possibly bring realism to animal cruelty etc. I like the potential this piece has, but as it is, it is still pretty good, your descriptive and leave the reader questioning and wanting to know more.