Difference in Pain | Teen Ink

Difference in Pain

February 26, 2013
By Ghostly-Rose SILVER, Easley, South Carolina
Ghostly-Rose SILVER, Easley, South Carolina
9 articles 7 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Make Life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am?! I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down, with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon, that burns your house down!"- Portal 2


Recently I came to the realization that I was bisexual. When I decided I was comfortable enough telling my parents, I was scared. I was raised in a strict Christian family that believed that being gay was wrong, and that all gays were dammed to Hell for their indecency. When I finally did tell my mom, the conversation went a lot better than I expected.

“Hey, Mom?”

“Yes honey?”

“I wanna talk to you about something.”

The words came out and her expression changed several times. At first she was confused, and then somewhat upset. In the end she was happy. Happy I had been comfortable enough, and trusted her enough to come and tell her.

Soon enough, my brother and father knew, along with my grandparents. It was only a matter of time before it began to spread through the school. I knew my brother would end up telling his friends. There was only one problem. I lived in a completely different state from my mother and brother. I lived with my dad, in a small town where everyone knew each other, and everyone was country as could be. Everyone that is, except for me.

I was the oddball, and the new girl. I had been through a traumatic summer and the memories still burn the heart that’s contained in my chest. At the time, skinny jeans were something that kids tried to stay away from, and yet that was all I wore. My wardrobe consisted of only skinny jeans and dark colored tops, leathers jackets, chokers, black nail polish, and lots of eyeliner. My music genre was far from country and pop, and I didn’t talk much. Being new, in a completely country/pop school was something I wasn’t really used to.

My first day was strange. I had never had a locker before, even though I was going to 8th grade. The school I had transferred from didn’t have lockers. I couldn’t get my locker open that morning. A few students walked past and just watched me struggle. Soon a nice teacher I would come to know very well saw me and opened it with ease. After that, I learned that my locker would open on its own if I just jerked it open.

Just before lunch, I met this girl. She had been in several of my classes and sat next to me in every one. Her name was Erin. She told me that she saw me at my locker and wanted to let me know that hers was the one right next to mine and she told me she would help me whenever I needed it. I didn’t know what to say so I just nodded. She walked with me to lunch and asked me if I would sit with her and her friends. I nodded and sat with them. They all got their food and one of them asked if I wanted any, being as I didn’t get any food. That was when I spoke for the first time.

“I don’t eat.”

The words rolled off my tongue and I immediately wished I hadn’t said them. They all looked at me as if I was nothing. I was the weirdo that didn’t eat. Yet, what they didn’t realize was that I had just gotten over a case of Bulimia, which triggered a serious case of Anorexia. By now I was used to the hunger and it didn’t bother me. I was used to being an outcast, and music was the only thing helping me through. Between the hunger in my stomach and the pain on my wrists, there wasn’t much else that could hurt me, or so I thought.


The author's comments:
This piece came from my heart and it shows the life of a teenage girl much like myself. This is pretty much a story about myself, just with minor adjustments such as name changes and such.

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This article has 5 comments.


on Sep. 22 2013 at 12:03 pm
rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death

Sad, but really well-written! 5/5 for sure, good job :)

CountryMusic said...
on Mar. 25 2013 at 9:36 pm
CountryMusic, Dolores, Colorado
0 articles 8 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The quietest people have the loudest minds."

Chin up beautiful! My best friend just told me that she's gay. And she's going to be just fine, no matter what people say. This is well written. Best of luck! *hugs*

on Mar. 13 2013 at 8:39 pm
Ghostly-Rose SILVER, Easley, South Carolina
9 articles 7 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Make Life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am?! I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down, with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon, that burns your house down!"- Portal 2

I always hated that locker.. All year it gave me problems.. I eventually figured out how to get it to unlock by just pulling it open, but then people would steal my stuff or put things in it that werent mine.. I also had an issue with people taping things to it..

Maryelle GOLD said...
on Mar. 13 2013 at 11:32 am
Maryelle GOLD, Stein, Other
13 articles 17 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
The world is strange, if you don't want to shatter, be strange too. (G.F)

Very good work. The text deals with mocked and overlooked problems in a very special way. I also like the point of view you chose. And lockers are strange, I never got along with mine either.

DanSmith said...
on Mar. 11 2013 at 10:55 am
Very Nice! Keep your head uP!