I Hate You | Teen Ink

I Hate You

October 6, 2012
By Emily_Greene GOLD, Spring Valley, California
Emily_Greene GOLD, Spring Valley, California
10 articles 0 photos 41 comments

I scrub at the filthy sink, trying to wash both the grime and my temper away. I hate you. I hate you so much. Its all I can think about; how much I hate you. I look up, here you come now. You always have that stupid look on your face, it's really annoying.

"Go away," I mutter.

"Why?" You think because I liked you once I'll do whatever you say? You betrayed me! I hate you. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. I wish I could kill you. If I had magic powers I would. I'd crush your bones and stop your heart and make you suffer.

"You know why, go away." My teeth are gritted, if I was a vampire I'd bite you and take everything out of you; just like you did to me.

"I don't know, explain."

"Explain?" A bitter laugh through these gritted teeth, I take a deep and shaky breath. "You are the biggest jerk in history, you think I'm that big-eyed innocent girl you saw?"

"Don't act like you're tough."

I collect myself, my eyes go icy and all the anger leaves my voice. A strict monotone with a touch of quiet, loathing sarcasm is all that remains. I want to hurt you, I want to cut you in the deepest possible way, a way that will never heal. Ever. "I'm an actress, remember? I hate you. I always have. I acted because it was obvious you were interested. I played you. You were fun but then you got touchy. You wanted dates, you wanted to take me to dances, you wanted me to bat my eyes and say 'I love you so much, please never leave me'. How disgusting. You even chose another girl while I was toying with you. You went into the responsibilites of a husband and wife with her in the short week you dated her before you dumped her and came running back to me yelling 'Please, I love you!' You're an idiot. No wonder your mother hates you. No wonder she likes your brother more. Everyone hates you. You said you wanted to die, right? You hate the way you live, right? You said so, so go ahead. Die. No one will care."

I sigh. What a cruel person I have hidden in my heart. It hurts. I look up into the mirror. If only I could really say those words to you. I wish I could be that brave.

I look down into the dirty sink and watch as my tears fall into it. It hurts. I want you to hurt too.

...I hate you.


The author's comments:
I actually went through something like this last year and let me tell you; hate is a scary emotion. I hated him. I still haven't forgiven him. Whenever I saw him in school I'd think "I hope you die." It was terrible.

Hate is an extreme of self pity. When you hate someone you meet the murderer in your heart that invents ways to kill people, the one that eggs you on to avenge yourself. Its a horrible burden and you have to let it go. It hurts too much to keep it with you.

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