The Candy Bar | Teen Ink

The Candy Bar

September 27, 2012
By elites5 SILVER, Langley, Other
elites5 SILVER, Langley, Other
9 articles 0 photos 23 comments

The Candy Bar

I am walking leisurely home from school, my mind drifting off to the clouds above. I feel the wind whipping through my hair and hear my keys clanging in my jacket pocket. Cars speed by me without even a glance, just go, go, go.

The walk home seems to feel like forever, but I only live a few blocks away. A cyclist passes me with no attempt to say hello or make eye contact. Kids shove by me obnoxiously on the sidewalk as if they own it. They shout and laugh cursing at each other about who won in gym class that day. I roll my eyes and continue walking home, but now my mood has turned foul and I just want to get home. I have no doubt in my mind that a dark raincloud will hover above my head, broadcasting my lovely afternoon.

Across the street, I see some teenagers standing lazily on their skateboards with their ear-buds glued inside their ears. One of the boys opens a candy bar and munches rhythmically while bobbing his head to whatever he likes to call “music”. Boys are all mostly the same, their version of music is usually classed as “noise”. He finishes his candy bar and lets the wrapper go slowly, trying to be sly. I watch it drop gradually, as if free falling and waiting for someone to come to the rescue. It lands on the cement making a crinkle sound and I blink in disbelief. The boys don’t seem to notice and they do; they don’t care in the least. It sickens me to watch them treat mother Earth like garbage and no respect.

I shake my head as a gust of wind carries the candy bar wrapper to the clouds, never to be seen again. I turn my head and continue walking home and think to myself what this world is coming to.

The author's comments:
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This article has 3 comments.

CammyS SILVER said...
on Dec. 3 2012 at 4:32 pm
CammyS SILVER, Papillion, Nebraska
5 articles 0 photos 188 comments

Favorite Quote:
No passion in the world is equal to the passion to alter someone else's draft.
H. G. Wells
Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.
Mark Twain

I really liked this piece, especially how it didn't turn out the way I expected. I thought that the narrator would be in a foul mood, but someone would give her a candy bar and sh'ed realized people aren't really that bad. I liked it better this way though. My only complaint is that the ending way kind of a let down. I don't really know how to describe it, but I felt... let down at the end. Maybe spice it up a bit more, make it more exciting? I don't know. Hope this helps!

elites5 SILVER said...
on Oct. 29 2012 at 5:20 pm
elites5 SILVER, Langley, Other
9 articles 0 photos 23 comments
Thanks so much! :)

on Oct. 28 2012 at 5:49 pm
Stella_Val_Illicia GOLD, Salt Lake City, Utah
13 articles 0 photos 247 comments

Favorite Quote:
"In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people angry and been widely regarded as a bad idea."
--Douglas Adams

I love how you can take an ordinary moment and make them seem so important that the reader is completely intrigued! Great work! :)