Wronger | Teen Ink


May 15, 2012
By AngelOnTheATeam PLATINUM, Mountain Home, Arkansas
AngelOnTheATeam PLATINUM, Mountain Home, Arkansas
23 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"No One Ever Gets To Know What Could Have Been."

The room is dark. The room is cold. But I'm sweating. So is Daddy. His arms are tight around me. Almost too tight, but still not tight enough. The blinds are closed. The bed is plain. The bed is messy. Mommy is staring at the ceiling.

I don't like the way Mommy looks. She looks too white. She looks too still. I can't breathe for a sudden moment.

Mommy calls Daddy's name.

Daddy says Mommy's name back.

I feel like they're saying something I can't hear. Like something else is going on. I struggle from my father's arms. He fights to keep me still, 'til Mommy says his name again and without a word he drops me to the ground.

I bolt to Mommy's bed. I clamber up onto it. I lay my head on Mommy's chest and two cold arms wrap around me. I don't feel good. Mommy holds me closer. She covers my face in soft little kisses. I feel like I want to cry. I can't cry. The water won't rise to my eyes. It won't slide down my cheeks. It won't come out. It won't come out and I'm 'fraid it's gonna make me 'splode. Is something wrong with me? Why can't I cry?

I hear something from the direction of the door. I open my eyes.

When did I shut them?

Daddy walks over. I don't like how he looks either. He's too white. He's too still. Like Mommy.

His moves all funny as he comes around. It doesn't look right. Something wrong with him.


That's the word.

He looks all stiff.

He climbs onto the bed without a word. I feel wet in my hair.
Mommy's crying.

How come she can cry and I can't?

That's not fair.

Daddy lays down next to her. He's still all stiff. He stares at the ceiling like there's somethin' really 'portent up there. Mommy's arms get tighter. Almost too tight but not tight enough. She moves over. She moves closer to Daddy and she moves me too. She turns on her side and her legs curl up a bit away from me. Her knees touch my side. She's so cold.

There's a big machine next to Daddy. It's got lots of switches and lights. It's hooked up to Mommy. Mommy curls closer to Daddy. Daddy doesn't move. What's wrong? Is Daddy sick too? Is Daddy leaving me too?

But then he moves. He curls up close to Mommy and his legs bend away but his knees touch my other side. Mommy moves again. She puts her head on his chest. Daddy brushes away her tears. This looks better. Not so stiff. It's all softish. Then Daddy wraps his arms around us both and I hear Mommy sniffle. I move my body so I'm in between them both perfectly. Daddy presses his face to my hair.

There's no water.

I know why I can't cry.

I know why Daddy can't cry.

We're all out of tears.

"I love you, Mommy." It doesn't sound right. The words sound all broked. All wobbly. My throat hurts. My chest hurts. My heart hurts.

"I love you too." It's all soft, her reply. It sounds just as wrong. But it sounds wronger too. Daddy's arms tighten around me.


Daddy's voice sounds different. Like it's all filled up with something… With the words I can't hear. Mommy gets stiff. I feel more water. She makes a bad sound. Daddy's voice is wrong too. It sounds bad. Like when I had a 'frog in my throat' last month.

"I know. Me too." she says back

Mommy's voice sounds just as all filled up. It sounds funny. I wish I could hear all the words that are in it. I feel like I can't hear at all.

It's quiet. It's quiet and it hurts my ears. Why does it hurt? It's not loud… no… yes, it is. I don't know.


Mommy's voice is all filled up again, but it's all broked. It sounds like Daddy's. But something's even more wrong. I didn't know it could get wronger.
Daddy keeps one arm wrapped around the both of us, but he leans back behind him. It's like his arm is a bazillion pounds. It moves so slowly. Then I can't see his hand no more. I hear a click. Then a dry sounding cry. Then another click. Another cry. Again a click. Again a cry. Another click.

Everything stops.

It got quieter.

It got stiller.

The side to my left, where Daddy is, suddenly starts shaking. The side to my right, where Mommy is, suddenly stops all moving. I had barely noticed the sound of heavy breathing before. I had barely felt the little movement of her breathin'.

Daddy's side moves too much.

Mommy's side moves too little.

That's wrong.

It's all wrong.

Everything's wrong.

I look up at Mommy.

Mommy closed her eyes.

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This article has 2 comments.

Kittengoo GOLD said...
on Dec. 23 2012 at 6:32 pm
Kittengoo GOLD, Sioux City, Iowa
18 articles 3 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and let life wonder how you did it.

Holy crud. Wow. It took me awhile to catch onto what was happening, but once I did, I loved it. I loved the little-girl slang the most. It was just macabre to hear such a grim circumstances described in a small girl's voice. But beautiful in its own way. This is an amazing piece, and I'm happy it got an Editor's Choice Award. (: The emotions were very rawly portrayed, probably helped by the fact that it didn't go on and on with flowery speech- just simple words from a small child. There were some spots, in the beginning before you started with the little child slang, that started to wax a little more poetically than I would expect from a kid. But still so, so beautiful. Like most of the pieces on TI.com, it's just a quiet snapshot. Not exactly thought-provoking, but it's a vivid depiction. I really enjoyed it. (:

Honour SILVER said...
on Jul. 30 2012 at 10:28 am
Honour SILVER, New London, Connecticut
9 articles 0 photos 181 comments

Favorite Quote:
Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. ~John 15:13

"Give me liberty or give me death!" ~Patrick Henry

Be brave and steadfast; have no fear or dread of them, for it is the Lord, your God, who marches with you; he will never fail you or forsake you. ~ Deuteronomy 31:6

"I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery" ~ Thomas Jefferson

THis is sad! :'(  It's well written though, and portrays what the little child is thinking very well.  Good job, Phantom!!!