The One Who Taught Me Love | Teen Ink

The One Who Taught Me Love

December 13, 2011
By Stormy9890 BRONZE, Knoxville, Tennessee
Stormy9890 BRONZE, Knoxville, Tennessee
2 articles 0 photos 23 comments

She's the girl that no one ever knows. With the eyes of fire and the heart as hard as stone.

Alicia had faced death so many times that it was almost funny. She existed only to feel the prickle of fear run down her spine and smell the cold sweat and blood. She thrived in the heat of the battle, when lives and freedom were depending on her, and her alone.

Wounds were nothing of matter to her, for they would heal as long as the person who bore them lived, and if that person who bore them was her, well then let the wounds take their time. If she still got to feel the thrill of thrusting a sword through an enemy's gut and the iron taste of blood on her mouth than let the wounds sting. Besides, it was so much more fun when pain fueled your rage. It made victory boil in the pit of your stomach, as if it was just waiting for another chance to emerge.

Alicia had sometimes wondered what brought other's out to the battlefield. If it was not for the sheer enjoyment of it than what else could it really be? It was certainly different for others, like when she watched her brother fight. He took no joy out of it, that much she could see. For, when he fought, he carried a bitter regret in his eyes, for what she had no knowing of. Even asking what it was brought no answers.

"It's called love." She remembered Alexander had said, when those mournful eyes of his were focused souly on cleaning his sword. He rubbed it with tender care, even though she knew he hated it.

"Love?" Alicia had asked, as she watched him begin to sharpen the steel. A steady rhythm, that always appeared within his work, started to emerge. She watched it with only my eyes though, for him thoughts were all on him, and his "love".

Alexander just smiled, and kissed my forehead with the same tenderness he used with his sword. Then, he picked up his armor and left, but without the spring she had seen in her brother before he had entered this war.

Later, for months and months to come, the meaning had eluded her, as she tried and tried again to understand the word. This so called "love" never dulled her senses when she fought, but she saw it dulled others. In truth it had taken one of her men, a brawny and equally brainy man, by the name of Harold Klark. "Love" had made him weak and just like that one of her best men had been taken.

Yet, she had even seen this "love" protect and infuriate soldiers on the field. Filling even the scrawniest men with courage she didn't know they had. "Love", whatever it was, was a very double-edged sword.

And it wasn't long before this "love" had effected her too. Standing before what remained of the brother that had protected her no matter the consequences, the first real tears ran down her face. Before she realized it, she was miles away kneeling at the grave that had been dug to remember "Alexander L. Firefox A soilder who shall not be forgotten" And, to her surprise, she was smiling to herself in stupid self-pity. "And I can't believe it took his death to realize I loved him." Quietly, she took from the hook on her belt, a polished, and sharpened sword, and thrust it into the mound.

"Who's that Mommy?" Alicia smiled.
"An old friend Alexander, an old friend."

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This article has 12 comments.

on Jun. 7 2013 at 9:51 am
IndigoElisabeth SILVER, Woodbury, New Jersey
5 articles 1 photo 171 comments

Favorite Quote:
John 1:1

All right, so the plot is okay, if a little predictable at times. The story is a little vague sometimes, too. I don't know, I just felt like you needed more detail, more backstory. And also, the ending needs to be a little more developed and explained. Other than that, good job!

CammyS SILVER said...
on Nov. 6 2012 at 10:26 am
CammyS SILVER, Papillion, Nebraska
5 articles 0 photos 188 comments

Favorite Quote:
No passion in the world is equal to the passion to alter someone else's draft.
H. G. Wells
Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.
Mark Twain

I liked how Alicia discovered love- it felt very real. There was a bizarre POV switch, but other than that it was great. i was also confused by the ending. I thought Alicia was Alex's sister? And why was she talking to her "Mommy"? You have a very amazing writing style though. Great work!

on Sep. 2 2012 at 9:13 am
augustsun02 SILVER, Hamburg, New Jersey
9 articles 0 photos 76 comments

Favorite Quote:
Write. It doesn't matter if you're overjoyed, furious, miserable, or what. Write to keep those emotions in check while managing to grow stronger.

Okay, so there was one really random (and I'll assume accidental) POV swap. There was also a grammatical error in which you used 'than' instead of 'then'. Unless that's what you meant to type and I just read the sentence wrong. And, maybe it's just me, (and it probably is just me) but I felt the ending to be confusing. I had thought Alicia was the mother (sister to Alexander) so I was rather confused when Alicia asked who Alexander was.   If any of these comments seem stupid, please feel free to let me know. This week has been rough and I only woke up a few minutes ago.   Anyway, I felt that you have a very elegant writing style. I like how love was something Alicia had t discover the hard way. Overall I thought you did a really good job, and I can't wait to read more :)

on Sep. 1 2012 at 2:58 pm
Allicat001 SILVER, Waukesha, Wisconsin
6 articles 0 photos 170 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is not someone you can live with, love is someone you can't live without."

"Always stand up for what's right even if that means you're standing alone."

I loved the ending and the imagery was really good as well.  By way of citique, at some points you could have added a bit more to the plot seeing as the story seemed to feel somewhat rushed towards the end.  Otherwise, fantastic job and keep writing! :)

on Feb. 13 2012 at 4:10 pm
Stormy9890 BRONZE, Knoxville, Tennessee
2 articles 0 photos 23 comments
Thank you! I worked really hard on it, and I'm glad you got something out of it! It makes me happy that someone really enoyed this!

on Feb. 13 2012 at 4:08 pm
Stormy9890 BRONZE, Knoxville, Tennessee
2 articles 0 photos 23 comments
Yah sorry bout the POV switch. :P It was a mistake because it was originially in first person, but it sounded better like this. Oh and I tried to make it seem like she found someone else to love and had a kid. She named him Alexander, after her brother. Thanks for the constructive critizisum! It always helps!

on Feb. 12 2012 at 8:28 pm
SpringRayyn PLATINUM, Lakeville, Minnesota
34 articles 2 photos 658 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't punish yourself," she heard her say again, but there would be punishment and pain, and there would be happiness too. That was writing."
--Markus Zusak, "The Book Thief"

I liked it, but it could have used more detail, maybe more emotion shown. Sometimes I noticed that you switched the POV of who you wrote it in from third to first person. The end, the very very end, was somewhat confusing. I don't get how Alicia became young all of a sudden (or at least that's what it seemed like).

on Feb. 11 2012 at 4:02 pm
milforce SILVER, Bloomington, Illinois
9 articles 0 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who have the ability to act, have the responsibility to act."

Great job! I loved the ending. Just goes to show that you can't take anything for granted

on Feb. 11 2012 at 6:14 am
Stormy9890 BRONZE, Knoxville, Tennessee
2 articles 0 photos 23 comments
Thank you! I worked very hard on it and I'm really glad you enjoyed! Critiques and comments always help!

on Feb. 10 2012 at 9:08 pm
LoonyLoopyLupin GOLD, Raynham, Massachusetts
13 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am proud of who I am. I believe in what I do." -Pavel Chekov (Star Trek The Original Series, episode: "The Way To Eden")

This piece is very touching. It's so cool that you were able to show so much change in Alicia using a shorter story. Great job :)

on Feb. 10 2012 at 3:36 pm
Stormy9890 BRONZE, Knoxville, Tennessee
2 articles 0 photos 23 comments
Thank you! It took awhile but I'm so glad you liked it!

LaceeJade GOLD said...
on Feb. 10 2012 at 12:22 am
LaceeJade GOLD, Bucyrus, Ohio
17 articles 4 photos 136 comments

Favorite Quote:
♥ I've made mistakes in my life. i've let people take advantage of me, and i accepted way less than i deserve. But, i've learned from my bad choices, and even though there are some things i can never get back and people who will never be sorry. i'll know better next time and i wont settle for anything less than i deserve. ♥

Wow, this piece is very tear jerking. I loved the ending! Good Job. Keep writng!