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To Be Without Love
May 14th. Hi my name is Sky Aurora, it's actually Skyler, but everyone says that it's a boys name so now I just say it's Sky. It's my 16th birthday,this is the first entry in my first ever journal,i just moved here to Australia with my new family, I’m an orphan, it's nice, but boring here, we live in the outback, I’ve actually seen a few kangaroos so far. I have been here for a week and I already hate my school, everyone avoids me or calls me names, I won't go into the name calling because there's so much to it. For as long as I can remember I have always been an orphan, kids at school, said that my parents left me because I’m a freak, I was born with one hand, but they're just jealous because I always had the highest grades. One time I asked one of my foster parents what did they think happened to my real family. They went on about that they died, but not to worry too much about it because they were here for me. Yeah right I was there for three days when they said that they could not have me around their family, I don't know why I always stayed in my room and got nineties in my classes. I don't know what to believe about my parents, in someway I feel they are still alive, but I don't want to believe that they gave me up. So I have decided to look for my parents and write everything that happens in my new journal.
May 15th. It's been raining all day, actually it's been a really bad thunder storm, I love looking at the lightning out my window, it just lights up the whole sky, it makes me feel at peace. Last night Jane and Neal, my foster parents, made me go down stairs to celebrate my birthday; it was really weird because no one ever really cared about it before. Today I tried to stay home from school but they wouldn’t let me, it didn’t go so well at school. So I got to school and went to my locker, I heard someone say something behind me and I looked, still reaching for my lock and then I noticed it, my whole lock was covered with gum. I went to class. All through class the kids behind me were throwing pieces of paper at me, then someone handed me a piece of paper it said, “Go Back To Where Ever You're From You Abandoned Freak.” I asked the teacher if I could go to the washroom and left the classroom crying. I thought school would never end today, but finally it did, I ran right out of the school, finally I was alone walking home, in the morning Neal drives me to school, then after school I walk home. Someone tapped on my shoulder and I turned around it was a girl from one of my classes, Shelly I think it was, she said, “I saw you crying earlier.”
“So what does it matter to you?” I said trying to walk away.
She grabbed my shoulder, “I'm sorry for everything.”
“what do you mean?”
“I'm sorry that you are an abandoned freak and that no one loves you.” she went back to her friends laughing. I could not stop crying all the way home; finally I got there and ran straight to my room. The only good thing that happened all day was that I found out what my parent's names are and where we used to live. So tomorrow I'm going to try and convince Jane and Neal that I'm sick.
May 16th. It worked. I'm still at home. They fell for it. I'm here all alone, Jane and Neal are both at work. I'm going to spend as much time as I can searching for my family.
Oh my word I can't believe it I found my parents, they are living in England. I have to leave, I have to find out why they gave me up, and I have their address. Tonight I will leave when Jane and Neal are asleep, but I will leave then a note because they have been the nicest family so far. I have worked my whole life so I have plenty of money saved up for the trip.
May 17th. It was so scary walking around the outback in the dark. You could hear some type of dag howling and all the other creepy animals that crawl around in the dark making weird noises. Lucky, just when I wished I had a ride, a car cam by and picked me up. So, here I am on a plane to London England. There's a really annoying kid behind me kicking my seat and whining to his mom that he wanted candy, how I wish I could........ Never mind. I can't wait to see my parents; they probably didn't know what happened to me.
May 20th. There last few days have been the worst and best in my whole life. The flight felt like it took forever, but I was still excited until I got to the house, here, I will write it down exactly how it happened. When I got off the plane I went to a cheap hotel. I had my laptop with me, Jane and Neal got it for my birthday, so I searched for the address where my parents live. I took a cab and found the house well actually it was a mansion; it reminded me of the mansion of the “Haunted Mansion.” I knocked at the door using the door knocker which kind of creeped me out because it was in the shape of a lions head, I didn't know why but the whole house gave me the shivers. An old man in black and white answered the door; he even looked like the butler off of the “Haunted Mansion.” he said in a rude way, “And what do you want.”
I said, “Is Rose and James Aurora here.” All I was thinking was: please be here, please be here
“Sorry madam, they went out. Were they expecting you.”
“No. How long will the be gone.” Please don't be long.
“They should be back soon.” He seemed to be getting tired of talking to me.
“May I please wait inside for them?” Please let me wait for them. “It is quite urgent that I see them.”
“Fine.” Moving out of the doorway to let me in. I walked in and the butler led me to a room to sit in and wait. Inside the house was even more amazing then outside, with a glorious chandelier and a staircase that split near the top. The room I was in had an amazing marble fire place. After 20 minuets I heard the creaking of the front door opening and the butler saying, “There's a young girl waiting for you two.”
“What, we weren't expecting any one, especially a kid.” It was a woman's voice. I felt like I was going to die.
“Yes I know madam, but she said that it was important.” I could hear them coming closer. The butler opened the door to the room and then walked in my parents. They looked young, my mom was thin with long hair like mine, but I had red hair like my dad, who was tall handsome man. My parents just stared at me, finally my dad said, “ And who Might you be?”
“It may be hard to believe, but you're my parents.” I said standing up.
“But how, we left you at the orphanage in Canada when you were a week old.” My dad was saying looking puzzled.
“But I am your daughter Skyler. I was living in Australia when I decided to find you.”
“Why did you come here Skyler, you must be happy where you were.” My mom said looking anxious.
“No, I have never been happy. But I want to live here with you two, please.”
“No. I'm sorry, but we were young, it was a mistake.” I could not believe it My own mother saying I'm a mistake.
“I can't believe you two; you're saying that I was a mistake.” I felt like running.
“No that came out wrong. See our parents didn't want us to be together. One say I came home and I was really sick so my mom took me to the doctors and they said I was pregnant. My parents to me to have an abortion, but I refused, so we had to give you up”
“But you still don't want me even though no one can tell you otherwise. You never even sent me a card, is it because I only have one hand?” I was furious.
“No. we are sorry darling. I know you're upset. I know you would like to stay with us, but I rally don't think you will be happy here, we are always at work or doing things for our work and we know nothing in what you need.” He was right the best thing for me is to go back to Australia.
“You're right i'm sorry for coming here. Its just no one would tell me who my real parents were.”
“There's no need to be sorry you followed your heart and that's important. And for the part about you not knowing who we were you can thank your grandparents, they did not want people to know you existed.” My dad was saying.
“My biggest worry now is will Jane and Neal let me come back, their my foster parents.”
“I'm sure they will. Tomorrow we will put you on a plane home. So you want to stay here for the night?” My mom said holding my hand.
So I stayed the night in an amazing room, then the next morning I had breakfast at a fancy restaurant with my parents and then we drove to the airport and they put me on the plane, the best part of it was my seat was in first class. My parents gave me enough money to pay for a ride from the airport to Jan and Neal’s house. My parent's didn't like the idea of me walking around the outback. When I got to the house I realized that it wasn't just Jane and Neal’s house it was my home. Jane and Neal were so happy to see me that they weren't even mad at me. I'm so happy to be home I never want to leave again.
May 14th. It's been one whole year since I last saw this journal, I lost it. So now I’ll go from where I left off. It has been great here in Australia. Jane and Neal are now my adopted parents and their expecting a baby, which is cool. My real parents send me letters all the time and they are here visiting for my 17th birthday, which is great and they get along perfectly with Jane and Neal. For the part about school well schools school, I still get perfect grades. Not many people bully me any more and the best part is I have a boyfriend. Neal and my real dad are a bit uptight about that, his name is Chase and he always accepts me for who I am. We're planning on going to my parents for the summer. Life couldn't get any better, I always thought I was without love, but I was wrong.
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