One Side | Teen Ink

One Side

December 8, 2011
By therabidrabbit BRONZE, Rockville, Maryland
therabidrabbit BRONZE, Rockville, Maryland
3 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Two things are infinte: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe - Albert Einstein

"I never wanted to hurt anyone," He pleads, his haunting milky gray eyes fixed on the peeling off-white wall. "Don't you understand, Dennis?" His voice crescendos, before abruptly returning to a soft murmur. "He lied to me." His face fills with contempt now, for himself or for Kevin I'm not sure. "He told me that what we were doing was to make sure there weren't any other kids that would end up like me." He tries to keep the thick tears from his face, but he can't wipe them away fast enough. He turns away from the older boy with the green jacket, the one named Dennis, not wanting him to see him vulnerable again. "He told me the money would be used for forgotten kids, and I needed to do it to help us. No one should have to face the world by themselves," He mutters, his cheeks streaked with tears; his eyes crazed with pain and anger.

"You believed him?" Dennis interrupts, his crystal ice blue eyes wide with disbelief. "Oh yeah, I'm teaching you how to shoot a gun so we can help establish a center for abused kids like you. You actually believed him?" He shouts incredulously, standing up with his fists curled up. He drops them again, in silent defeat, his head lowered, his eyes defeated. "What happened to you Will?" He collapses into his seat, his head lowered into his hands. "Will, how could you believe him?"

Will meets his gaze, slowly standing too. "You don't understand," he cries. "You were never there for me! No one was ever there for me!"

Dennis snorts in disgust. "How could I be there for you?" He glances at his expensive Rolex watch again. "I needed to think about my future, too, Will. No one was ever there for me either. But I didn't kill anyone over it." He eyes Will uneasily. "Why couldn't you cope with that? Why couldn't you think about it? Why don't you ever understand that two evils don't make a good?"

Will's barely breathing now, his pale face even more deathly white, his fists clench, and he collapses back into the hard wooden seat. "Dennis, you left me there in that dump to fend for myself. You promised me help…and you never looked back." His voice softens slightly, the slick tears still running down the worn-down paths. "It's been two months since I've first been brought here, and this is the first time you've come to see me. I needed a fatherly figure. When you left me too, what could I do Dennis?"

Dennis sighs, his face completely blank. "Will, why am even I here? I don't even know who you are anymore."

"I don't know who you are either!" Will screams, shooting up out of his chair suddenly, his dirty blond shaggy hair wildly sticking up in all directions. "Why are you here? You didn't have to come! You ignored my calls for the first two months; you could have kept ignoring them!"

I don't want to get into the middle of a fight, but visitation time's almost over. "Five minutes left," I lean in through the window and say.

Dennis thanks me immediately, his face grateful. Will doesn't even glance my way though he does sit down, his face noticeably lighter. "Well, I have to go now," Dennis smiles fakely. "I hope I'll be seeing you soon."

"Yeah, like in hell," Will retorts, his eyes hidden under his hair. When Dennis turns questionly, he elaborates. "Dennis, they're deciding on my fate tomorrow." Will grimaces bravely, "According to my lawyer, I could be acquitted because they think Kevin 'brainwashed' me into doing these horrible things and that my family background had something to do with it." He smiles grimly, "Otherwise, since this is Virginia, maybe off to death roll with me!"

"You'll do fine," Dennis says coolly as if he was talking about some trivial math test. "Besides, it's pretty easy to prove that your family is messed up."

"Yeah, they only have to look at you to see that." Will answered sharply, his eyes wide and innocent.

Dennis shakes his head. "You're never going to grow up little brother." He storms out of the room, handing me his visitation pass on his way out.

The author's comments:
A boy who cut off four people's heads can be sentenced to a maximum of three years in the juvenile justice system. Many people thus want reform. This piece presents the other side of the story.

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This article has 4 comments.

CammyS SILVER said...
on Jan. 21 2013 at 3:36 pm
CammyS SILVER, Papillion, Nebraska
5 articles 0 photos 188 comments

Favorite Quote:
No passion in the world is equal to the passion to alter someone else's draft.
H. G. Wells
Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.
Mark Twain

I really, really, really loved it!!!!! The emotions were vivid and the description excellent. I could see everything that went on, and the conversation was extremely natural. I do have a couple suggestions though. 1) Let the reader know the warden was the 1st person narrator early, or don't use him at all. The story is as good even in 3rd person. 2) Let the reader know that Dennis is Will's brother earlier. You hint at it too much to leave it as a surprise, and it doesn't do anything for the story. 3) there are a couple minor grammer problems, but those are easy to fix. All in all, absolutly fantastic story!

IMSteel BRONZE said...
on Jan. 12 2013 at 2:36 pm
IMSteel BRONZE, Wallhala, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Learn from Yesterday, live for Today, hope for Tomorrow" - Albert Einstein

"Brevity is the Soul of Wit" - The Which

Great discription, good dialogue, you've some talent!

on Jan. 12 2013 at 11:10 am
E.J.Mathews GOLD, International Falls, Minnesota
19 articles 2 photos 145 comments
Only found one mistake it's called death "row", not "roll'. Besides that, it was pretty good. The dialog was amazing. I also thought that the story idea was outstanding. You did a really good job.

sweetbunny said...
on Dec. 12 2011 at 11:02 am
likee ending huh?