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I stared at the new boy at my school, Jason. This guy intrigued me. He was average-looking, not much different from other boys I knew, but it was his eyes that pulled me. No, not Edward Cullen eyes, I don't go for all that Twilight cr*p. (I have better things to do than look at "hot guys" in a meaningless movie). But this guy's eyes screamed for help. No, wait. Not for help, for sympathy. He had been through a lot, his eyes told me, and he wanted love, to have someone care about him. I was surprised I could tell all of this just by looking at his deep ovals of vision, because I wasn't the most insightful person in the world. As a matter of fact, I was usually pretty dumb. I was a bad student, and I made awful choices. My parents complained about me a lot, which definitely drew a wedge in our teetering relationship.
I don't know why I'm such a brat (sure, I know I am one), but my guess is because I'm kind of unhappy. But I don't know WHY I'm so unhappy. I just know I'm not completely satisfied with life. I should be getting more out of it, I know. Jeez, maybe if my parents were a little less critical of me I could talk to them about problems and stuff, or maybe they'd pay for me to talk to a counselor. But they think because I'd been a "problem child" for the whole fifteen years I'd been living, I was going to be "ruined for life".
So, back to Jason Greyson. (I don't know WHAT his parents were thinking, naming him Jason so that his name would rhyme. They must have never gone to public school). None of the other sophomores seemed to interact with Jason, despite it being his first day. I wanted to talk with him, to hang out with him, but my stomach turned at the prospect of it. But I had the guts, though they twisted and cramped, to speak to him.
"Hi," I said slowly as I approached him. "I'm Fran. It's Jason, right?"
He turned to face me, and for one everlasting second his eyes made contact with mine, and stuck there. My stomach screamed in protest. He opened his mouth to reply to me. "Yeah, it's Jason." He paused, as if he didn't know what to say. "It's, uh, nice to meet you."
I had no idea what to say after we introduced ourselves, so I just said what popped into my head "Do you want to hang out after school?"
He stared at me with those mesmerizing eyes, then said "Yeah, sure."
I wanted to jump up and down, but I kept my cool. "What about at the library?"
Jason gave me a half-smile, and then a nod. "The school one or the public one?"
"Uh, public," I answered quickly. I stole a glance at my red, digital watch, and my eyes widened. "Oh, jeez, I'm gonna be late for class! See you after school!" I walked briskly away, my heart pounding. Did he like me? Would we hang out after today? I was so nervous.
I sat at the library table, waiting for Jason to show up. Would he not show up? Just as I was about to give up hope and leave, I caught him walking toward me, and apologetic look on his face.
"Sorry I'm late," he spoke. "A teacher wanted to talk to me and she just kept talking!" He gave a tiny laugh, a tiny smile, and I felt as though my heart would burst.
"It-it's fine," I stuttered nervously.
He sat down then, and we started "doing homework". (We mostly talked). We talked about minor things at first, but after a while we were both ready to tell the other about complicated things in our lives.
"...So my parents and I are kind of...distant," I explained to him. "My mom's pregnant, and they are both really excited because they can FINALLY have a kid to be proud of. They've never said that to my face, but I've heard them say it."
Jason had a pitying look on his face, but I felt worse when he told me the reason his family moved to this town.
"It used to be me, my parents and my twin sister, Jackie. We were twins but we were, well, pretty different. But you know that old saying "opposites attract"? It was like that. We were different, but super close. I was always really cautious and worried, and she rushed into EVERYTHING. I could help her out, though. She knew whenever she did something stupid I would fix it. The she started getting doing some bad stuff, like drinking, drugs and all that. I called all these hot lines and tried to help her, but it wasn't fast enough. She overdosed one night, and I found her dead."
The beautiful eyes on Jason's face were teary, and I felt bad.
"I'm sorry," I said gently. We both knew that we were done talking for that day, but our friendship didn't end there. We went for coffee, for walks, went to each other's houses, etc. Jason told me stories about him and his sister, and how much fun they used to have. Somehow, this made him happier, and his eyes seemed less sad. Sure, they were still wonderfully complicated, but happier.
We sat on a park bench talking, and out of nowhere it just happened. Our lips were pressed together. I suddenly realized how happy I was, and what good Jason had done for me. I guess I never realized I could love a boy this much, because I am a boy.
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