Sometimes when I'm alone, I cry to myself because of the emptyness inside of me. That emptyness claws at me. It grows everyday. I wish it would just go away. If you were still at my side, it might not be there. See, it used to be that there was no emptyness inside me. You filled it up for so long. You filled that emptyness with love and hope, but now its all gone. I never wanted to let go, but I knew someday i would have to. Now it seems like it was all a dream, but its time to wake up and come back to my cruel reality.
I wish it didn't have to be like this. The way of just friends and pretty little lies. The ones where I say I don't love you and I only like you as a friend. But what really hurts the most is that when you say it to me, you mean it. You don't have to lie to me.
Someday i will tell you because i don't want to go through life wondering "what if". For now, I will have to though, because I don't have the guts to tell you.
And part of me hopes your reading this and hopes you feel the same way, but part of me hopes you never see this because im scared of what you'll think. This is what you do to me and i hate you for it, but I will never be over you.
Sometimes I wish you had never left me. Sometimes I wish I had just trusted you because maybe, just maybe things would be different for us. I wouldn't have the emptyness inside me and I wouldn't have to lie to you. I wouldn't have to tell you I don't love you when I really do. Even though I try convincing myself i don't, I do and always will.