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Not In Our Mind
Life is not strikes and foul balls,
There are no bases, no safety from the horrors that could chase you and there is no dug out to take a break from the game.
Did she even take her pills today? I wonder nervously, biting my nail with the hand that wasn't covered in a stupid glove.
The sound of metal hitting leather refused to wake me from my worrying.
'Dang it, Mar! It was right next to you!' An angry voice yells. I look over to the ground, a ball sits patiently- asking to be thrown- and when I look up, there she is.
Looking tipped off beyond belief. Her sweet face was twisted in rage, her blond hair flashing behind her as she runs to me and her teeth biting into her perfect lip.
I wondered if I was the only one who could see the fear in her eyes.
'Mar!' She made her voice heard as she stood next to me, close enough to touch. Everyone looked at us, some laughing, others standing happily. The game was forgotten. It was now ours that was watched.
'You need to keep your head in the freaking game!!' Kate yelled, then whispering so only I could hear, 'Are you okay?'
I nodded. She snorted, back to the game she played. The game I didn't want to play.
It was always like that.
She wanted to hang out with everyone. Be friends with everyone. I never did. I was happy with her.
Was she ever happy with me?
I watched Kate's shoulders as went back to her friends, whispering about me. Laughing at me. Making sure I was the only one who could see her stolen glance of care...
Of something that was a sick intimation of love.
We couldn't be friends.
She said so.
So I was stuck in this game, a prisoner made a king and queen in chess. She would make more friends, push me further away and kill the smaller pieces.
I was running out of lower chess pieces to give her.