The Average During-Test Thoughts | Teen Ink

The Average During-Test Thoughts

December 8, 2009
By Mandilee GOLD, Sierra Madre, California
Mandilee GOLD, Sierra Madre, California
19 articles 0 photos 14 comments

My pencil slapped against the wooden desk as I struggled to remember the spelling of 'consequence.' Gosh, did I hate Spelling. What's the meaning of it anyway? When will I ever have to spell consequence... I'll just say 'bad thing' in place of the word. Yeah... that sounds good.

I mean, what sort of model has to spell? That's what I'll be when I'm gorgeous, twenty, and living in a psychedelic apartment in New York City. I'll flaunt on the runway, my long legs having no end. Yeah... and I'll wear all sort of glitz and glam - rhinestones, diamonds, all sorts of shiny minerals.

I'll dye my hair a shocking shade of violet, but I'll be so famous and so talented and so amazing that everyone will overlook my fashion fau pa. They'll maybe see it for a millisecond but then it'll be over and done with. I'll make a headline because I... broke a new... modeling record...? Well, whatever, something of that sort. So they'll forget about it and just only focus on my blooming career. I'll so obviously have one, of course.

I'll have my own fashion line too. Then I'll wear my own outfits in shows. I'll be a sensation... and just when they think I'm becoming a has-been... I'll surprise them with my magical singing voice! I'll just croon out a few Britneys and I'll be back in the hall of fame.

I'll have so many titles. I'll be so great. I'll end up marrying some guitarist in an indie-boy-band. His name will be Skylar. His eyes will be pretty pools of blue with little ripples in them when he gets stressed. (Like when he calls in for a reservation to the latest ritsy-ditsy place and once we get there... they don't have it in their dumb records!) A wave of auburn locks will spill over his forehead and he'll be able to flip his hair like a horse with it's mane. We'll be the cutest couple in Hollywood. (Except we'll stay stationed in NYC) He will profess his love to me every day of the week and we will be together forever.

I'll make him quit his band, Toxic Sparkly Dump, because m more important. And everyone will go awwww because it's so so so romantic when a dude gives up his life so the only thing he ever sees or focuses on is his starlet girl. All the good celeb boyfriends know this and do it willingly. The scowl is only a show.

We might have a kid. A pink faced baby named Sardonica because he thinks it's cool and said I could decide everything for the next one. Fair, right? :)

Two kids later, I'll decide to leave my little circle of family, saying that Skylar has too much baggage. And I won't explain myself either because being unpredictable and mysterious is part of being famous. Skylar will try to get me back for the rest of his pitiful life but I'm too good for him.

He's just a boy band guitarist and I'm everything.
I'll end my career with a Greatest Hits album, a TMZ special movie, and a farewell good-luck-in-retirement party.
Then I'll be assassinated one day by a crazy fan. Not murdered, once you're well known enough it's assassinated.

This girl ended up not putting a single answer on her test. She failed in life. But, hey, she did figure out the life that's never going to happen to her. Just a tip, don't be conceited little girls or stupid or leave your fairytale boy band guitarist.
Because you'll have nothing
and will be assassinated.

The author's comments:
A bit sarcastic and sardonic. I was just in a grouchy mood and decided to make fun of some girls in my class. No offense to anything I put. It's random. And those 'girls' I mentioned - it's no one in particular. Just people I've come across who remind me of this girl in this short story. So, yeah, no hate comments, please?

Oh and I did it in 20 minutes so... not exactly picture perfect quality.

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