The Loan | TeenInk

The Loan

December 5, 2019
By Anonymous

Boom!” The door came crashing down in the apartment. In the doorway, two men were standing in the door. Luis knew that he was in trouble then.


“Where is the money, Luis? You owe us 5,000 dollars, ”one of the two men in his apartment said.


“I don't have it give me some time Jim!”, Luis pleaded.


“You have one week!”Jim screamed.


Luis didn't even see the first flying at his face. He felt a sharp pain and was jolted back to reality in his new apartment that he took a loan out for. It was Wednesday, and Luis still had three days to pay the money. Luis thought about his pregnant wife, Maria, and their coming child.


Luis muttered to himself, “What's going to happen to them if I don't pay up.”


Luis knew that it was time to make a plan to get the money back. It was up to him to get the money if it was legal or illegal. He knew that it was going to be a long night of planning. Luis’s first idea was to start robbing people for money on the street. Then he realized that there was no way that he could get that much money in one week. Then he thought that he should take out a loan from a bank, but he knew that he could not get a loan to pay back a different illegal loan. But suddenly he had an idea, what if he robbed a store? Then he could get 5,000 and then some. How would he do it, though? It had to happen soon, though. But first, it was time to sleep.


“Honey, you know I love you, right?” Luis asked Marie.


“Of course, sweetie,” Marie reassured him, “Is everything alright?”


“Nothings wrong, just promise me that you'll take care of our child,” Luis nervously asked.


Marie yawned, “Yeah, sure, you're really weird, though.”


The morning came, and it was time to go. Marie was still sleeping in the bed, and Luis snuck out with his gun. In the car, he kissed the picture of his wife and put on the mask. He pulled up to the corner where the convenience store was and left the car running. The ringing of the doorbell woke up the clerk, and he saw Luis with the mask on.


Luis screamed, “Hand over the cash and keep your hand off that button!”


The clerk backed up from the register and said, “I don't want any trouble, please just take the money, just take it.”

The clerk started to hand over the money into Luis’s bag. Then the clerk made a run to the alarm button under the table. Luis shot the clerk in the arm, and he fell down in a pool of blood. It was too late though the cops were already on their way there. Luis grabbed the money from the cash register and stuffed the rest in his bag. When he ran outside, he saw blue and red lights. The cops were outside of the gas station, and they were leaning on their car doors with their guns pointed at the entrance. Luis knew he couldn't go out of the front, so he had to sneak out of the back. Now that he didn't have a car, he was on foot. He jumped some fences into some yards and was almost on in his apartment when he heard gunshots right behind him. Then he felt a sharp pain in his right leg. When Luis looked down, he saw the flesh wound in his leg with the rip in his jeans. After he got to the apartment, he stashed the money under his mattress. He went into the kitchen to tend to his leg wound. He knew it wasn't bad, but it still hurt. Maria walked in and screamed.


“Honey it isn't what it looks like,” Luis pleaded with Maria

“Yes, it is you robbed someplace. I saw you hide the money and know your in the kitchen with a bullet wound. What is happening?”

“I need the money. How do you think that we paid for this apartment? We couldn't afford this place, so I took a loan from some sketchy loan sharks. Now they want the money back in full, or they are going to harm you and me. I couldn't let that happen to you, so this is how I get the money back. I just robbed the store down the street,” Luis explained.

Maria just had a shocked face, and she finally mustered up the strength to say, “Oh my god. I had no idea. Here let me help with your leg.”

Maria tended to his wound and eventually wrapped it up. Now it was time for the most dangerous part of this entire plan. Luis was more scared about this part than anything else. It was time to pay the loan sharks their money back. Luis arranged to meet them at the garage where he worked. Two hours later, the two men who broke into his apartment were there, and they were angry.

“You got the money?” The bigger of the two asked.

“Yeah, I got the money. Here take it,” Luis muttered.

“Alright, then I guess we're done here. You are free to go, Luis.” The smaller one said.

The men walked out, and Luis caught his breath and started home.

“Waaaaa!” A baby cried from the doctor's arms It was six months after the last time that Luis saw the loan sharks, and everything has been going smoothly. They were in the hospital after Maria had gone into labor one day ago. The doctor snapped Luis out of his trance and handed him the baby. A grin started to grow on Luis’s face. He was beaming with pride because he knew that he was a father.


The author's comments:

This piece was written for my 9th grade Langauge Arts class.


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