He walks down the halls, trying to avoid the wayward glances the giggling girls always give to any boy who walks through the lower hallway. He straightens his tie and adjusts his blazer. He runs up a flight of stairs, and then up the main set through the glass entrance. He loses himself in his thoughts on the path back to the other campus, the boys’ one. He drops his stuff off outside the lunchroom, careful not to block the flow of the lunch line, and gets on. He grunts when he realizes that all of the hot dogs have outlandish toppings. Why can’t he just have a plain hot dog for once?

He walks over to the table where he and his friends sit every day. As he sits down, he hears his friends complaining about something.

“I can’t believe I got scummed out of that A.”

“Yeah, that teacher scums everybody.”

He looks over to find his best friend at school, Derek, not participating in the conversation and huddled angrily over his phone. He is usually very talkative.

“Hey, Derek, you okay?”

He looks up. “Shaun! I was wondering if you took my athletic shorts. I need them for the game today.”

“No, I didn’t, sorry. I can lend you my extra pair if you want.”

“Nah, I’ll just buy another pair.”

“This is like the fifth time this month! You shouldn’t waste more money on shorts.”

“I don’t really care. I have more than enough extra.”

Derek likes to flaunt how much money he has. It’s annoying, and drives most people away. But if you get to know him, you realize he just has that layer because of his family, and he is loyal and will stand sturdy with you in your times of need. That’s why Shaun is friends with him. He likes to feel supported, especially in places so unlike his neighborhood and upbringing.

Another one of Shaun’s friends slams the table and says, “Shaun! Who are you scheming?” He says it so loudly that people at nearby tables look back, and then continue with their own conversations.

“Umm...nobody.” He actually was interested in a girl, but he didn’t feel in the mood to be judged.

Another person says, “Well, I’m interested in May. She’s a babe.” A mini argument starts up.“May‽ She’s rancid!” another boy shouts. The banter continues; “Nobody says that anymore!” “Well, I do!”

Shaun chuckles to himself, laughing at the trivial arguments constantly going on all around. He turns to Derek and asks what he is looking at.

“I’m looking at the newest desktop tower case. Speaking of, are you ever going to get or make a desktop? I want to be able to play all of these games with you.”

Shaun looks up at the ceiling and takes a deep breath. “You know I can’t afford one.”

“Sure you can! There are cheap ones or you could save up money to buy a good one.”

“Yeah, but I…”

“Just think about it, okay? I have to go take a Hajj.”

“You know that’s a really stupid saying, right?”

“Yeah, but it’s fun to say and everybody’s saying it. See ya later.”

“See ya.”

They both leave the lunchroom and head in different directions. His face droops back to the recurring sullen, lifeless stare as he gets lost in his thoughts again. He drifts down the halls and into his dark classroom. He plops down in his seat, defeated after the long, run-on Friday. Good thing it was last class.

Some other classmates come in, flicking the lights on as they stroll in. Shaun wished he could stay in the dark and take a nap. It is tiring dealing with people so unlike you. They sit down in nearby chairs and his facade snaps in place. They invite him to join in the conversation by asking him questions, so he answers with short and curt responses, revealing nothing. They ask him a more personal question, and a wisp of true feeling seeps through a crack in his shield. As Shaun quiets down, they turn the conversation towards others in the group. He becomes a mimic, a robotic copy reflecting their expressions back at them. He tries to be at least semi-included, but he doesn’t want to be the center of attention. Every conversation becomes a precarious balancing act.

He mirrors each speaker’s emotions, portraying softer versions of their feelings. When someone cracks a joke, he laughs among the others, even though he usually doesn’t find them funny. And when he can’t hold out any longer, he disappears into his thoughts, finding them more interesting than the world around him.

“Hey! Hey! Hello? You good?” Someone says, looking at Shaun.

His face flushes with crimson passion. He covers it up, like he always does, shoving the anger, embarrassment, fear, and other emotions inside easily. “Y-yeah. I’m fine. Just zoned out a little.”

The rest of the class starts to file in, the teacher following suit. As class starts, he slips through the monotone speech and into a soulful slumber, leaving an empty husk to be present for the lecture.

“...and after you’re done with that, study for the quiz next Wednesday. Class dismissed.”

Half of the class leaps out of their chairs, knocking them, and bolt out of the room; the others stumble tiredly, almost drunkenly, to their feet and drag slowly out the door. Shaun is one of the latter. He creeps down the hallway and grabs his stuff, then he gets in a cab. He sees his classmates through the tinted window, chatting and getting into their cars. They were probably leaving to get a snack and hang out. Probably a bruin. He had never had a bruin, and he didn’t even think that he would like it. But he would like to say that he had one.

He finally makes it home, and he sprawls himself tiredly onto his couch. He lets out a big sigh and sinks deeper into the warm leather. He naps for a short time, and when he wakes up, his mother is home. He pushes himself to his feet and rubs the fatigue out his eyes. His mom is practically bubbling with joy as he strolls over.

“Guess what?” she asks.

“What,” he responds.

“Well… your father and I have been saving up money to buy you a gift because of how well you are chugging along in your classes. And we think we know what it is going to be. We’re going to get you a smart watch!”

“Oh!” he responds with a gusto of excitement, overcompensating the feigned surprise because of a small amount of true surprise.

“Yes! What color do you want? Black, red, blu…”

He cuts her off, revealing some true feeling. “I don’t really want one. I mean, they’re cool and all, but I wouldn’t use it that much and I don’t want you to pointlessly waste money.”

“But it would be worth it for you.”

“Yeah, but…”

“Okay. I won’t push any more. I’ll leave you alone.” She envelops him in a suffocating hug.

She leaves the room, and he thinks about the real main reason he didn’t want the watch. It wouldn’t represent him. He didn’t want people to think or see him as something he’s not.

His mom calls from the other room, “By the way, Jamie is stopping by to see you in an hour.”

He rips off his tie and dress shirt and throws them to the ground. He stays in his baggy white undershirt, but changes into a pair of sweatpants. He collapses back onto his couch, and flicks through the TV channels waiting for Jamie to arrive.

After a time, he hears a call from outside.

“HEY! What’s up homie?” Jamie says.

“Hey,” Shaun responds, opening the door.

“You up to go to the Lily Pad? It’s the first day the lake is opening.”

“Yeah, sure. But I have a lot of homework, and I don’t want to fall behind.”

“Aww, lay off. We won’t stay there long. C’mon. Get off your a**”

They walk down to the lake, laughing the entire way. Jamie is very different from Derek. He isn’t humble, by far, but he doesn’t brag too often because he usually doesn’t have anything to brag about. He is very laid back, like many others in Shaun’s neighborhood, and goes with the flow while passively manipulating it. He is also a little vulgar, but he is still a nice, funny guy who is fun to be around.

They reach the lake clubhouse and sign in. They go into the Lily Pad and order snacks and smoothies. While they wait, a group of kids a couple years younger than them swarm Shaun. They have a friendly relationship, and have known each other for years. He likes to hang out with them because it does put him in charge, but more because they think things through deeply, just like him. They chat for a little while, then Shaun goes back to his house. Over the course of the weekend, he gets all of his homework done and prepares for Monday.

On Monday morning, he gets dressed and gets in a cab for the hour long ride to school. He thinks about everything he has to do today. When he gets out at school, Derek greets him.

“Hey! I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable on Friday.”

“No, you’re fine.” Actually, the opposite of uncomfortable.

“Sorry, I have to peace. See ya.”

And when he leaves, Shaun subconsciously puts his mask on as he enters the school, slipping into the masses and becoming just another face in the crowd.