It's Not Me | Teen Ink

It's Not Me

July 8, 2018
By Angeline_Ray SILVER, Paris, Tennessee
Angeline_Ray SILVER, Paris, Tennessee
5 articles 4 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
All we are is an isle of flightless birds
We find our worth in giving birth and stuff
We're lining our homes against winding roads
And we think the going is tough
We pick songs to sing, remind us of things that nobody cares about
And honestly we're probably more suicidal than ever now

If you decide to live by, what you think's wrong and what's right
Believe me you'll begin to wish you were sleeping
Your weeping will creep in your head and you'll cry
But if we wake up every morning and decide what we believe
We can take apart our very heart and the light will set us free


There was a boy. I walked down the street, and there was a boy. He was tall, and he looked intelligent. He had dark skin and dark hair, and he was someone who I thought was someone else. I soon realized this was not the person I thought it was, but it brought back a memory of the boy I thought. His name was Richard Sonavin, and I remembered him oddly well. I remember he was a good person. He was much different on the inside than on the out, and I never really saw that coming. He was the type of person who would rather kill himself than someone else if it came to that. He never made a big deal out of not being in a relationship. He never talked back to the teachers in school even if they made him mad. He listened to indie and pop music. He only listened to rap when he was practically forced to by his stepdad. His parents were divorced, and he had 4 siblings. He would always try to be someone that wouldn’t change their image for other people, but as I retraced my steps the spot on the street where I saw the man I thought was him, I realized I was staring into a mirror.  I did not recognize myself because it wasn’t me staring back. It was someone who looked like me, talked like me, but wasn’t me. That boy I faintly remember from so long ago always wished he didn’t have to have other people’s approval to feel okay. His wish never came true. Now there is another man in the mirror staring back at me. He always wanted it to be the real me. Too late.


The author's comments:

I wrote this after my friend. He was a great person, but you could always tell there was a deeper layer that he didn't show. 


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