When I'm gone...

February 1, 2012
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“Don’t miss him or you will pay for him!”
I could hear them although the snow was ravaging the earth. All the animals ran into their lairs and probably were watching what would happen from their warm and safe burrows. For my luck the forest occurred from frequent and large trees so I had a little probability for escaping. The world was unfair, other world had overflowed with blacks and still confederation soldiers were trying to slaughter innocent people. If I could wriggle out I will charge them. If I can reach my guns...
“Commander he is here; stop or I will shot you black slave!”
I leaned my back to an old and thick oak tree and bellowed from there.
“Please I have three children and my family had died because of the war. Only I can look after them.”
This time the answer came from another voice.
“You had to think all about this before you killed the boss; why did you? You were surviving under his auspices of him and working in the cotton fields.”
I sound something between laughing and sobbing. He couldn’t understand; he was a soldier so he couldn’t understand. Such an unfair world, I prayed to the God last time and pick a sharp stone from ground when I was thinking what this would help me about.
And I ran with my whole speed and power. Wrong choice. They were already blockaded me when I was having the conversation with the commander. Something happened which didn’t happen for decades. Tears were coming from my eyes but those tears weren’t for me, for my desperate children who would be orphans; who will be alone in this brutal world.
At the end what I was waiting happened for the war years. Firstly I couldn’t figure out but when I felt the intolerable pain on my old chest I looked down there and saw the hot and fluid red liquid. Suddenly my legs couldn’t sustain my body and I buried to the thick snow layer.
Finally I couldn’t maintain to surrender myself to the comfortable darkness and I have begun to my last sleep.

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This article has 22 comments. Post your own now!

uzunhasanoglu said...
Feb. 10, 2012 at 1:50 am
Woow, great job, great story. I just loved the words you picked, your descriptions and the plot. Never lose the passion and keep writing :)
Hilidan replied...
Feb. 13, 2012 at 1:44 am
Thk u so much.
Silver2black said...
Feb. 9, 2012 at 4:17 am
Wow, I absolutely love this one Hili, Especially the ending, when the man felt a warm liquid against his chest, I love the whole emotional story, Just some parts seemed snappy, So good for your first write, Way to go !
Hilidan replied...
Feb. 9, 2012 at 9:54 am
Thanks for commeting Silver. It means too much to me. :D
sunshine said...
Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:01 pm
my friend weird I think it is a brilliant job for the first time. I really liked your voice. Keep going!
Hilidan replied...
Feb. 9, 2012 at 1:49 am
Thank you for commeting.
SilverHedghog17 said...
Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:50 pm
Good job, but the last sentence was just a tad confusing. It's a double negative thing, 'I couldn't maintain to surrender myself to'. It's a beautiful thought though.
Hilidan replied...
Feb. 8, 2012 at 1:00 pm
Thank you for commuting and showing my mistake :D
Hilidan said...
Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:38 pm
Please someone can write comment
Hilidan replied...
Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:39 pm
crazyboy 3639 said...
Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:10 am
I mean you spartakus
spartakus97 said...
Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:42 am
My friend you have lots of things to learn. Firstable your name is weird. You should change your name. mayebe Kraytos97 I'm not sure. Your story is good. I even cried in the some part.And you now ı'm not cry easly. Good lucks in your life.maybe one day you can as good as me. It's not very immposible but life is interesting!!!
Hilidan replied...
Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:56 am
o_o I wish I will be as good as u
spartakus97 said...
Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:25 am
so-so I have seen ones
Hilidan replied...
Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:27 am
yes my friend, I gave it to u for read ones
beril said...
Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:24 am
perfect :D
Hilidan replied...
Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:30 am
Thanks Beril. :D
alexis texas said...
Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:20 am
Of course,babe. Always mucks....
Alexis Texas said...
Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:17 am
Wouuw. I think you worked hard about this article but I liked it.So you should write more. Kisses and Hugs
Hilidan replied...
Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:18 am
thanks "Alexis" I'm glad to see you that u sent a comment :D
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