The soulless night breathed out a deep sigh against the rags as they elevated in the wind. The gentle scraping of the oak tree branches against the window pane are a reminder that I’m still alive. The world is quiet, too quiet. The inhabitants of the outside world must sense what is about to happen, what is about to become of me. But it must happen, I’ve overstayed my welcome in this dark world. My broken soul is trapped in an eternal nightmare behind the bars of my prison-like mindset. My once white rose, pure as a dove is now consumed by a black shadow. Like an innocent angel, incarnated in the midst of hell. My breathing ragged, heart shattered. I clutch my head, attempting to piece the broken fragments back together, again. Glancing into the reflective looking glass, I stare at the damaged woman being mirrored back at me. She is identical yet barely recognizable. Her dull glass eyes hold no emotion. Her gaunt body looks like it would snap in half by the simplest touch. The grey hair tangled into a mop upon her head. What have I become of myself? I can barely comprehend the question. The silent screaming forever rupturing through my damaged thoughts.

Pain, pain as blinding as the sun radiates throughout my body. I stagger on my feet before regaining my balance. The travelling pain makes its way through my veins reaching every inch of my body. Intense, dark, overpowering agony takes over every thought process. I can barely gasp out a breathe, the pain constricting my lungs and my ability to breath. The pain of a broken heart never felt this agonising. This burning feeling deep within my soul has been building up over the years. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t keep living like this. From the reflection of my mirror I catch sight of a small bottle lying rest, waiting, calling out to me. This is the answer to my prayers. Taking a seat on the rough bedding, I grasp my saviour in both hands. A plan forms in my head, taking charge of all rational thoughts. This is what I need to do with the last of my sanity.

The bed where I lay, filled to the brim with tears I have shed. My inner demons a constant weight on my shoulder, drowning me under their never ending criticism. Numbed fingertips, wrinkled with crevices, fumble with the unholy object. The weight of it burns a hole through my palm. The contents rattle in time with the shaking of my hands. This feels so surreal to me, all this pain and suffering I have encountered will soon be over. I will be at peace with myself once again. The anger that has consumed all these years is slowly diminishing out of my system. With every unwind of the lid I feel more calm about the unrolling events. I take a deep breath, count to three and gulp down the multiple, powerful, white tablets. The effects are almost instant, a feeling of dizziness invades my senses. My mind deteriorating. Body falling onto the hardwood floor, the eerie echo filling the silent atmosphere. Soul slipping out of my nearly lifeless form. Pulse, fading into a steady line.