Welcome to hell, kid.

August 3, 2017
By YashaA SILVER, San Rafael, California
YashaA SILVER, San Rafael, California
5 articles 1 photo 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
One equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will. To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield." -M

“Lucifer?!” Someone slapped Lucifer across the face.

Lucifer awoke with a start, almost jumping out of his shoes. “Wha-” There was his secretary, Beckett standing over him. The burly man looked down at Lucifer and said in his New York accented voice, “Sorry boss, you fell asleep again.” Lucifer sat up and asked the secretary what he needed.

“There's a kid at the gate… Not sure if she's supposed to be here…” Beckett nervously wrung his hands as he said this. Sometimes it amazed Lucifer how such a burly man could be nervous most of the time. “Oh yeah, and one of the hellhounds tried to eat it...the kid…”

“IT WHAT?!” Lucifer yelled at his secretary, almost knocking Beckett off his feet. Lucifer groaned and got up from the large ebony desk, walking out of the room and slamming the huge door behind him. Let's see who this kid is… He thought as he approached the huge iron gates of hell. His two hellhounds, Vigilo and Decimus snarled and barked at him as he walked past, straining their chains. “Dorsus!” Lucifer shouted at them and they shrank back. The two huge iron gates opened to reveal the barren landscape of hell. But there was no kid as far as Lucifer could see. He quickly looked up at the security camera mounted on the gates, in hope that Beckett was watching this. Then he saw it. There was a kid, a very small one with shoulder length brown hair, standing near the edge of the gates, all bloodied and dirty. Lucifer walked up to the child and since he didn't know what to do, he tapped the kid on the shoulder. The child turned around and spat viciously in Lucifer's face.

Lucifer wiped his face and outraged, shouted “Hey! I will not hesitate to feed you to my hounds, tiny human!”

The child turned around and stared up at Lucifer, who had his arms crossed over his chest and an angry expression on his face. “And who might you be?”  She asked with a smirk.

Lucifer straightened his tie and cleared his throat. “I am Lucifer.”

“Stupid, Lucifer is only a myth.” The child grinned and crossed her arms.

Lucifer sighed. Was this child going to be like this? Fine. “Who are you, kid?” he asked in annoyance.

“My name is Amelia. And my mum told me not to talk to creepy guys dressed in black like you.” With that she scrunched up her face and stuck her tongue out at Lucifer. He rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands in his pants pockets.

“What is this place anyway?” She asked, looking around, then at Lucifer. “Some weird desert?”
At this Lucifer laughed-this little girl obviously had no idea where she was. “No. You're in Hell.” Lucifer told her, smiling.

“Cool!” She got up and looked in all directions. “So where are the torture chambers and lava pits?”
Lucifer was only standing there, shocked. He certainly hadn't expected such a happy reaction from a kid that what-12? at being told she was in hell.

“What do they tell you about this place up there?” he asked, gesturing up to the 'sky'.

“Well not what this is. They tell us that it's like a thousand fires and people screaming in pain as they are tortured.”

Lucifer scanned the landscape. “Not really. But yes, there is a lot of fire here.”

The girl stared at Lucifer then took a step backwards, as if she was afraid. Well, actually she should be.

“What?” Lucifer asked, confused.

“Y-your eyes…” She stuttered and took another step back.

“You just noticed this?” Yes, Lucifer’s eyes were pitch black. “I am Lucifer, dont think that I'd look normal.”
“S-So you really are Lucifer?” She whimpered.


“Then where are your horns, the wings? I thought the devil would look a lot more scary.”

Lucifer chuckled darkly. “Oh believe me, I am scary.”

The author's comments:

This is one of my all time favorites. Comedy from hell. Enjoy. 

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