Sappy

The deafening sirens and blinding lights frightened me so much. They think I am a criminal. They think I’m a bad person. But I’m not. All I want is to see tomorrow mornings beautiful sunshine. All I want is my family back. All I want is a do-over.
“Son,” the officer motioned me over to him, “I don’t know what you were doing in the house, I don’t know why you aren’t in bed, I don’t know why you aren’t with your family, but you better have a darn good story to tell.” The officer sat me in the car, and stared me straight in the eye, as if he were trying to intimidate me. After the long pause he said “I’ll be right with you”. I watched as the officer went to talk with the home-owner. The homeowner seemed to be about 6’1 and built, and although not upset with me or the situation, he seemed agitated or annoyed. As I was looking at these two men talking I couldn’t help but focus my attention on the Christmas tree in the window. The lights, the garland, the angel singing on top, and even the ornaments on the tree were just a beautiful sight. It was times like this that I missed my family. Like when my mom used to sing along to Christmas Carols while she cleans, and my dad cracking a joke or doing anything to get me or my mom to chuckle. I missed having special memories with them especially this time of the year, but that was 5 years ago. Then I saw the man and the officer walking towards me. The officer opened the door and asked me what I was doing.
“It’s hard to explain” I said. The officer replied with a chuckle and very sternly said “Well, either you tell us what happened and I’ll drive you home safe and sound. Or you don’t tell me and you’re going to trial. The decision is yours.”
I looked at him and emphasized how I can’t explain it and before I could finish my sentence he hollered like a military general “Your future depends on this decision! If you don’t tell me you go to jail! Do you understand me?!”
Before he could finish his last sentence I barked. “I have no home! I have no family! I don’t have a penny to my name! I live on the streets, and my only meal is at school!” the officer was taken back and as he tried to process what I just told him I looked down at my worn out shoes then looked back up. The officer was just about in tears while the homeowner was leaning against the car crying.
The officer stuttering and tripping over his words couldn’t say anything. Finally he came to his words “How long has this been going on? How? When? Where?”
“Do you really want to hear?” The officer and the home-owner both shook their head emphatically.
“In one month it will be exactly five years.” I paused and looked at the two grown men with tears running down their faces. Then I looked at my shoes as if I was embarrassed about my story. Then I continued with my head down.
“When I was growing up I was very close with my parents, more so with my dad than with my mom. Then as I got older we all grew apart and love turned into like, and like turned into acquaintance. Just when I thought I was slipping away from my family, I got news that somehow brought us back together. We had gotten news that my brother, Adam, had died in battle by saving everyone in his squad.” When I was done saying this I looked up and now they both looked like they had committed a crime. They looked guilty and I knew they felt bad, but I continued anyway.
“After Adam died our family came together as one again. Instead of being 3 different people- Tom Pines, Julia Pines, and me being Dave Pines; we were one family… the Pines family. It was like a big loop just going in circles. Things were great again because we had each other. We would all go to my baseball games and then go home and just watch movies with each other to enjoy each other’s company. Things were great, so great in fact that I didn’t feel the need to have friends over because they were my friends, they were everything to me. But then that ugly loop started making another appearance and once again we grew apart. Love to like, and like to acquaintance. There was no escape from this loop, and by that point in my life I realized that having family is nice, but I have to go make friends at school. That’s when I met Kate McManer and Tim Blick. We spent every day together before school, after school, during the weekends. They were my family, and I truly felt that way.” That’s when the officer cut me off.
“Are you still friends with them? Do you talk? Are you still close?” I looked him in the eye and answered.
“I can’t remember what life was like when I had no friends. Kate and Tim are the only people I talk to at school besides saying ‘thank you’ to the lunch lady. So, yes I still talk to them.” I got right back to the story before they could ask me anymore questions.
“Going into my 8th grade year I needed to learn to be independent. My mom was working and my dad had issues, so I learned to grow, maturity wise. I taught myself most of the skills I have, and Kate, Tim and their parents also helped me as best as they could because they could see what I was going through. One day after hanging out with Tim and Kate at Tim’s house I opened the door and I walked right into a war zone. My mom and dad were arguing worse than usual. My dad ended up yelling at my mom saying something like ‘Your nothing but a burden and this family is falling apart!’ I chimed in defending my mom. My dad ended up leaving to get out of the house and blow off steam, and my mom thanked me so many times. That’s when I made a huge mistake and the one I will regret for the rest of my life. I told her that she isn’t any better than my dad is and that argument ended with ‘I hate you’. After doing that she stormed out of the room and I went to the couch. I threw myself on the couch and put my hands in my face and sobbed. Then I looked at the Christmas tree in the corner. I saw all the ornaments on it and how the lights and the garland made us all so happy at Christmas time. Now there was no happiness to be found, no hope.”
“The next day I was playing wall-ball with Kate, and my parents both had to come get me because my mom needed to work and I needed a ride home, so my dad had to go with them. At the time we weren’t taking it very seriously and that is when Principle Grey came down with a serious look on his face. He told both of us to end the game immediately and we needed to leave early for an emergency. I knew that when he said emergency it wasn’t good. I was told to go with Mrs. Blick immediately. Then when I got to the car I was positive it was bad news because Tim was not there, just Mrs. Blick, who looked to have been crying. ‘Dave,’ she said ‘There is no easy way to say this, but your parents died in a car accident this afternoon, I’m so sorry.’ When I heard her say that my heart just sank and I thought that I would have no way of moving on. Also with no grandparents around I thought I had no hope left.” The officer stopped me again.
“What happened to your grandparents? Aunts? Uncles? Cousins?”
“Well, my grandparents died before I was born, and my parents didn’t have any siblings so I have no other family.” I responded.
“I understand, continue” the officer replied.
“I ended up living the rest of the school year with Tim, but I felt like an unwanted guest when I was there, so I ran away. During the summer I live in parks, backyards, little corners at a school yard, and sometimes I’ve even built myself a little shack out of a box that I found in an alley. During the winter is a different story and that brings us almost too where we are. Living in a place with nice summers, and brutal winters like we have here in Buffalo, it’s hard to survive in the cold, rain, sleet, snow, or hail. Every year since I ran away from the Blick house I’ve been sneaking into other people’s houses just to sleep, and before they wake up in the morning I sneak out and go to school, work my job as a grocery store cashier, and then do it all over again. It is an endless loop that I can never get out of. The only thing different is the hours of my shift every day, but even that doesn’t change all that much.” The officer jumped in.
“But why do you have a job and where does the money go?”
“I have a job because I need the money to buy things to survive, such as gloves, or a hat, even cheap sneakers when I need them. I got a jacket for $20 one time.
“But that still doesn’t explain the reason you were inside this gentlemen’s house.” The officer pointed out.
“I know I didn’t get to that part yet.” I retorted. “I’m just telling you how I have been surviving in Buffalo during the winter for five years without a home.”
“I understand. Please continue”
“So for the past five years I have been sleeping in houses at night to survive, it just so happens that this time I was caught by this man.”
“Is that all? Is there anything that you would need to or want to tell me?” The officer questioned.
“Not unless you need to know about tonight and you finding me inside this house.”
“Well,” the officer started “I am going to need to hear your side of the story.” He motioned to the home-owner, who was still in tears, to go back into the house. “I’ll come get you soon” he said to the man. He looked back at me. “So, what happened tonight?”
“Like I said, I had to sleep in a house so I could stay somewhat warm tonight and all the houses in the neighborhood had lights on inside, so I thought either    1. Somebody is awake OR          2. There could be multiple people there.”
“I didn’t want people to know that I was staying there, so I looked for a house with no lights on. I was scanning and then I saw this house. I snuck in through the basement window and I grabbed what looked like a flashlight and turned it on. I found a little corner in a back room that looked like nobody had been there for a while because of the dust. I thought to myself that it was going to be a normal night and that I would carry on my routine. Not five minutes later I heard footsteps and I thought to get out of the house. As soon as I tried to get up I could hear the door open, so I decided to stay put. I could see through a little crack in the wall that a light was turned on. I didn’t want the light to get on me so I tried to move out of the way, and as I did that I stepped on a dog toy, and the squeaker inside made the loudest squeak I think I have ever heard. That’s when I heard him call 911 and run back upstairs.”
“I see. Is that all?” the officer asked.
“I was just trying to survive! I wasn’t going to take anything! I’m not a criminal! I just don’t have anywhere to stay!”
“I know that.” The officer said, “But I have no choice, I have to take you in. You have confessed to the crime of breaking and entering, but lucky for you Mr. Lowe gave me the exact same story. That’s good because you aren’t lying to me, which can reduce your sentence.”
“Fair enough,” I replied in an upset tone. “Just to be clear Mr. Lowe is the home-owner correct.”
“Yes he is. I’m going to go get him, you stay put.”
As the officer was walking I just couldn’t help but stare at that Christmas tree, and for some reason it just grabbed my attention. Looking at it I could feel deep down that there was hope to be found. I was also thinking about how much I wanted my family back, and how if I could go to the day before we all had the argument, I would break the loop.
“The stupid loop is what caused the family, and the stupid loop is what broke the family. If I noticed it before we went our separate ways, then this would be totally different. Why couldn’t my family be like Kate’s? Why couldn’t my family be like Tim’s? They never fight. I don’t even think they know what it feels like to be trapped in a ‘love loop’. I remember going to church and hearing them preach about God and how God is good, and what he made is good, and equal. It sure doesn’t seem like that now! Christmas is in a few days and I don’t have a family to spend it with, and what is sad is that I’m not the only one who feels or thinks like this. I believe in God, but not as much as I did when I was slowly being victimized by the loop unknowingly. As of right now, hope from a tree is all I have left.” Not knowing that I was mumbling to myself and in a daze I heard the door open.
“Sorry kid, but it’s time to take you in.”
“I understand.” I looked at my shoes and chuckled at all the dust I had from the room.
“What’s your name?”
“Dave Pines, but my friends call me Sappy.”
“Well I’m just going to call you Dave.
“That’s fine”
“Look, Dave, I’m really sorry for getting in your face earlier and trying to get in your head. It’s just that being a cop you can’t always trust people because you don’t know what their thoughts are or what their next action is going to be.”
“That’s okay. I get where you’re coming from. I’ve seen Cops and murder shows before. There are some crazy people out there. I’ve learned to stay away from them.”
“I’m also very sorry about your loss. I can relate to what you went through. Not exactly the same, but close.”
“Really? What happened? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“Nah I don’t mind. When I was a little kid maybe 4 or 5 my mom died from a drunk driver on her way home from the airport. I never knew my dad, so I lived with my grandparents.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“That’s okay. That’s when I found God. I knew he wasn’t punishing me because that’s not how he is. Everything always happens for a reason even though it can be hard to see what that reason is.”
When he said that I stared at my hands and started to play with my thumbs, thinking long and hard about what he just told me.
“We’re here. Another officer will bring you into your cell and I’ll sign you in. Then I will come by and tell you what is happening.”
“Okay.”
The cell was grey with a bunkbed made of steel and a hard mattress. There was one more man in there with me. He was about 22 years old, not much taller than 5’10-5’11 and he was skinny. I said hello and he said hello, but nothing more than that.
“Okay so Dave what we have going on is that you do not get a trial. You will be here for at most five months because you did not steal anything you just broke in. You have the possibility of parole in fifty four days.”
“Okay. Thank you officer.”
* * *
On the fifty fourth day of my five month sentence I went to bed happier than I ever did in prison before. I knew that tomorrow I will be able to leave early if somebody pays my bail of $1,000. I didn’t expect it to be paid off anytime soon, and that’s why I was so surprised the next night.
“Dave Pines,” This voice was not that of the officer. It was very deep and he sounded professional. “You have been released on bail, you are free to go. The man who released you would like to see you in the waiting room.” I shot up from my bed and floated to the waiting room. Standing there was a man with his back to the jail entrance looking out the window. When he heard the door close he turned around and it was the officer.
“Sappy!”
“Hello officer. I have a question; do you know who released me on bail?
“I did!”
“Really? But, why?”
“Because I love how open and honest you were with me on the ride here. I think we connected really well and I thought that I could help you, so here I am. Is that okay?”
“That’s great; I’m just surprised that’s all. Thank you. Well, I got to get going now. Thanks again!”
“Where are you going? I hope you’re okay with this, but I already adopted you.”
For the first time in so many years I felt so much joy and so much hope for later in my life. I could feel my smile touch each ear.
“Really? You really adopted me?”
“Let’s go home and finish putting ornaments on the tree.”
When we got to his house I met his two boys, Nick and Adam, and his wife Julia, and I finally learned his name, Tom. They were Wood family. After meeting all of them I walked into the living room and saw the most beautiful, fullest, fluffiest Christmas tree I ever saw. They all watched me as I added the final ornament onto the tree. As I did so I whispered to myself…
“There is hope, and there is good.”