Blackout
“Okay, we’ve got Nicole Waltz, a fifteen year old female with severe head trauma and bruising on the occiput,” one of the EMT’s yelled as he lifted Nicole’s gurney out of the ambulance. Doctors began to rush around Nicole, yelling instructions to their residents as they pushed Nicole through the big, red doors of Gordon Harley Hospital.
“Nicole! Honey, I am so sorry! Please baby, wake up!” Nicole’s mother sobbed, smudging the black tears trailing down her face.
“Ms. Waltz? Hi, my name is Dr. Hampton, I will be the head surgeon on your daughter’s case. We are going to have to take Nicole in for a head CT scan immediately, as she has gone into a coma. Can you tell me what happened? In case there are any other symptoms we should be looking for,” he questioned, his eyebrows furrowed as he analyzed Nicole’s chart.
“I- I didn’t mean to, I took it too far. I just... I just want my baby back.” Ms. Waltz whispered, staring at her shaking, sweaty hands.
“Ms. Waltz, can you please tell me what happened to Nicole?” Dr. Hampton questioned, his eyes shifting to Ms. Waltz. Turning away from Dr. Hampton, Ms. Waltz’s eyes clamped shut as she set a pink pill on her tongue and swallowed hard.

“Where are youuuu? Come out, come out wherever you are!” he slurred through his menacing laughter. Fifteen years I had been with him, and every night I prayed he would sober up for the sake of our little girl. His heavy footsteps began pounding on the hardwood floors as I hid with Nicole in that small coat closet. There we sat, crouched on the ground as I covered Nicole’s ears, trying to drown out their real life nightmare.

“Ms. Waltz? I need you to tell me what happened to Nicole right now,” Dr. Hampton persisted as he snapped the file shut. Ms. Waltz’s eyes fluttered as she stared into her palms.
“She… she slipped while walking down the stairs and hit her head on a banister,” Ms. Waltz confirmed, her washed out blue eyes now looking up at Dr. Hampton. His eyes peered at her as he examined her face, nodding slightly.

“Fifteen years old. This girl hasn’t even begun her life yet, what happened to her?” Mya, one of the residents, questioned Dr. Hampton as she prepared for the X-Ray to begin. Dr. Hampton absent-mindedly stared at the computer monitor.
“Her mother says she slipped down the stairs, but I don’t think that’s true. She was nervous, she did not seem confident with her story. I want child protective services called as soon as we are finished the CT. If Ms. Waltz did this, Nicole doesn’t deserve to go back there, she has the rest of her life to look forward to.” Dr. Hampton was now facing the resident, bitterness surging through his voice. 
“Child protective services? You think it is that bad?” Mya responded, her eyebrows knitted together. Dr. Hampton looked at her with fire in his eyes.
“Do I think it is bad enough? Mya, her mother almost killed her for God’s sake! And for all we know this probably isn’t the first time an accident has happened.”
“I-I’m sorry doctor, I didn’t mean to offend you,” Mya shamefully responded.
“Well you don’t know what it’s like until you experience that hostile environment for yourself.”  As Dr. Hampton said this, the computer monitor beeped and their eyes darted to the screen.
“Oh my God. She has a brain hemorrhage, look, the hematoma is causing too much pressure on her skull and blood circulation is slowing down. We need to operate right away, book an OR now!” Dr. Hampton pointed at the screen as Mya ran out of the room.
“Hi, you are working on my daughters case right? Please, what is happening with her?” Ms. Waltz stood up and crossed her arms around her chest.
“I am sorry, I am quite busy at the moment, but Dr. Hampton will be out in a little bit to update you,” Mya turned her head as she scribbled Dr. Hampton’s name on a white board.
“Ms. Waltz, we need you to sign these papers immediately! Nicole’s ‘slip’ was hard enough that it caused a hemorrhage to form in her brain. If you want your daughter to live, we need to relieve the pressure on her skull now!” Dr. Hampton ran into the hallway and threw the forms in front of Ms. Waltz. Ms. Waltz’s eyes welled up with tears as she covered her mouth; her hands trembling as she silently signed the forms. 

“Cam, let’s go! The party starts at one and I told Carly we would get there an hour early to help set up,” Ms. Waltz hollered, placing a bobby pin in her curly blonde hair.  Cam came trudging into the living room as Nicole was twirling in a baby pink sundress, singing ‘Under the Sea’ from the Little Mermaid when she ran into her Dad.  “NICOLE! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU, NO RUNNING IN THE HOUSE! YOU ALMOST MADE ME FALL OVER! CAN’T YOU EVER LISTEN TO ANYTHING I SAY?” Cam growled, his callus -filled palm gripping her porcelain-like arm. Nicole’s soft blue eyes started to water as she looked at her silent Mother.
“I-I’m sorry Daddy, I won’t do it again. You’re hurting me, can you please let go?” Nicole trembled, tears dripping down her flushed cheeks. His eyes narrowed as he shoved her arm, leaving a bright red handprint on her thin, porcelain like bicep. 
“Well let’s go, what are you waiting for?! You just made a big fuss about leaving, now come on!” he grumbled, pushing past Ms. Waltz, his large fist snatching the keys from the banister and slammed the door shut.

As she handed the papers back to him, she asked if her daughter would be okay.  Dr. Hampton let out a sigh of frustration,
“I, I don’t know. If the surgery goes successfully, she might wake up… or she might not. I can’t assure you of anything right now,” Dr. Hampton stared into her bloodshot eyes, then walked off to the nurses’ desk.
“I need you to call child protective services for Nicole Waltz. I don’t believe the story her mother is telling me,” Dr. Hampton whispered, his eyes focused on Ms. Waltz. In the scrub in room, Mya watched the water dripping down her hands,
“Dr. Hampton, she, she might not even wake up from her coma,” Mya whispered, tying her blue scrub cap around her head. Dr. Hampton finished scrubbing his nails, and proceeded to walk into the OR, ignoring Mya’s comments. Dr. Hampton looked up,
“Ok, let us begin.”

“No, I need them now! I don’t have time to argue with you! Bring them to the hospital! Hello? Hello?” Ms. Waltz demanded, snapping her phone shut and taking a long drag on her cigarette. Blowing the smoke out into the crisp night air, she turned around and saw Dr. Hampton standing there, his arms crossed tightly around his chest. Ms. Waltz coughed,
“Dr. Hampton, how is-“ 
“What is wrong Ms. Waltz? Do you need something?” Dr. Hampton questioned, stuffing his hands deep into his pockets. Ms. Waltz threw her arms up to her chest, hugging her phone.
“N-no doctor, I was just getting my friend to bring me my uh, stress medication. I just ran out,” Ms. Waltz stammered, her eyes searching his green scrubs. Dr. Hampton stared at Ms. Waltz.
“We were able to get the hemorrhage out, and relieve the pressure on Nicole’s skull. We are hoping this will allow her to wake out of her coma. If you want you can go sit in her room,” the doctor explained.  Ms. Waltz’s eyes started to water, as she looked up at Dr. Hampton’s clearly annoyed expression.
“Thank you, thank you for saving her,” Ms. Waltz whispered as a tear fell down her cheek.

“Nicole honey, wake up. Come on and put on your coat, you gotta be quiet, okay? We can’t wake up Daddy.”  Katherine spoke softly, brushing some strands of hair behind Nicole’s ear.
“What’s wrong Mummy? Where are we going? Why can’t we wake up Daddy?” Nicole groggily mumbled, rubbing her tired eyes. Katherine smiled wearily at her daughter,
“We are going on a road trip, but Daddy can’t come with us because he has to work,” she whispered, rubbing circles on Nicole’s hand to comfort her. Nicole asked if she could kiss her Daddy’s cheek good-bye, but Katherine said that it would wake him, and he would get mad at her.
“Bye Daddy, I love you,” Nicole whispered for the last time, as they tiptoed out into the moonlit street.

Katherine walked past the nurses’ desk and stood in front of Nicole’s room, shutting her eyes as tears flowed down her flushed cheeks. Instead of going into the room, she slowly kneeled down and leaned up against the wall, running her hands though her ratty blonde hair. As she leaned against the wall, she saw multiple families comforting their loved ones, and her head started to spin.
“Oh my God, how could I let this happen to my baby? What’s wrong with me?” She whispered, tears now streaming down her face as she rocked back and forth, hugging her knees to her chest.
“Ms. Waltz, are you okay? You can go see Nicole now, you don’t have to wait out here,” a nurse informed Ms. Waltz. Ms. Waltz smiled and nodded, then proceeded to lean her head against the wall, staring at the ceiling.

“Mummy, are you okay?” Nicole questioned, pushing the door slowly, peeking her head into the dim bathroom. There she saw me sprawled on the stain filled floor, red lipstick smudged with a tear stained face, and a large bottle of vodka in hand. My eyes drifted up to Nicole,
“Mu- mummy?” Nicole whimpered, hugging her teddy bear tight to her chest.
“Get out of here Nicole!” I slurred, taking a swig of the liquid before throwing it at the paint peeled wall, the glass shattering into a million pieces. Nicole’s eyes began to water as she dropped her teddy bear on the alcohol soaked floor, her terrified eyes now out of my sight.

An hour and a half passed until Ms. Waltz stood up and slowly walked into Nicole’s room, awing at all of the bandages and machinery plugged into her little girl. She crept over to Nicole’s bed, and placed her trembling hand on Nicole’s pale cheek, stroking it softly. A nurse walked into the room with a clipboard, writing notes down,
“She’s strong, I know she will wake up. She, she’s my baby, she has to wake up,” Ms. Waltz cried, moving her hand to her own cheek, brushing away a tear.  The nurse looked up from her sheets and handed her a box of tissues, smiling sympathetically.
“She’s stable at the moment, we are going to come back in about an hour to see how she is doing. Would you like some ice chips or water?” The nurse asked as she closed the clipboard, but Katherine shook her head while pushing a chair beside Nicole’s bed. As Katherine sat in the chair, her eyes traced Nicole’s motionless body, the heart rate monitor the only sound in the stillroom.

“Okay boys and girls, you can come get a rubber band from the front table to roll your hand prints up!” Amanda, Nicole’s kindergarten teacher announced enthusiastically. It was Nicole’s first day of school, and she was proud to present her mom with her first kindergarten assignment.
“Ms. Amanda, do you think my mom will like it? I don’t know what her favorite colors are, so I chose the pretty ones!” Nicole exclaimed, analyzing the small pink and purple blobs. Amanda bent down and handed her a rubber band,
“I think she will love it! Do you want to sign it?” Amanda chimed, grabbing a bag of Mr. Sketch scented markers. Nicole’s eyes lit up when she saw the felts,
“Yaaa! I love the blueberry one, it’s my favorite one ever!” Nicole squealed. She ripped off the lid and scribbled on the top right corner, “TO MUMI, LOVE NICOLE <3 <3 <3 <3.”  After class ended, Nicole and all of the other children ran outside to see their parents. Nicole’s eyes were searching frantically, but to her despair, her Mom was nowhere in sight.
Half an hour passed, she was sitting against the red brick wall of the school when Amanda walked by.
“Nicole, how come you are still here? Where are your parents?” Amanda questioned as her eyebrows furrowed. Nicole looked down and started playing with her pink tights.
“I don’t know, I think she will be here soon,” Amanda stood there for a minute before saying anything.
“Okay, I can wait here with you and we can play a game of hopscotch!” Amanda exclaimed, grabbing Nicole’s hand.
“Yea, okay! I’ll go find us a rock!” Nicole cheered as she ran to the park in search of the ‘perfect rock’. During her hunt, she looked up to see her mom stomping towards her,
“Nicole! I have been-“ Ms. Waltz paused mid sentence when she saw Amanda, “Oh… hi, I did not see you there. You must be Nicole’s teacher, I’m her Mom, Katherine Waltz,” she reached her hand out and offered a smile, showing her yellow stained teeth.
“Hi I’m Amanda, nice to meet you,” she responded as she reached her hand out to Ms. Waltz. Nicole ran to them,
“Mummy can we pleeeease stay a bit longer? I want to play hopscotch with Ms. Amanda!” Nicole pleaded, smiling up at her mom.
Ms. Waltz smiled slightly,
“No, I’m sorry, but we gotta go home. Maybe another day,” Ms. Waltz smiled at Amanda.
“Awww, okay. I’ll go get my backpack. Bye Ms. Amanda, see you tomorrow,” Nicole moped, waving her hand goodbye.
“Bye Nicole! Don’t worry, we will definitely play another time! It was nice to meet you Ms. Waltz,” Amanda waved, tucking a piece of her jet-black hair behind her ear. As Ms. Waltz and Nicole were walking to their car, Katherine dropped Nicole’s hand when they were out of sight, “Nicole, I have been waiting in the car for a good ten minutes! Why weren’t you paying attention?!” Ms. Waltz spat, her pace sped up until Nicole couldn’t keep up.
“Mummy I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you wait. Next time I will wait at the front of the school, I promise,” Nicole apologized as she opened the car door. 
“I-I made you something today,” Nicole’s small voice trembled as she handed her mom the rolled up yellow construction paper. Ms. Waltz snatched the paper from Nicole’s hand and threw it in the back of the car,
“I’ll look at it later,” she sighed, slamming the door shut.

“And if that dog named Rover won’t bark, Mama’s gonna buy you a horse and cart. And if that horse and cart fall down, you’ll still be the sweetest baby in town.” Ms. Waltz sung to Nicole, smiling wearily as she laid her head down on the edge of Nicole’s bed. Her eyes started to feel heavy as Dr. Hampton walked into the room,
“Ms. Waltz, we have workers coming up from Family Social Services, they have a few questions about what happened to Nicole. If you could follow Sandy, she’ll take you to the conference room,” Dr. Hampton indicated, then began to write notes down in Nicole’s binder.
“Wait, why do I have to talk to them? I told you what happened, she fell walking up the stairs,” Ms. Waltz defended, grabbing Nicole’s hand.
Dr. Hampton looked up at her and his eyebrows furrowed, “When I asked you earlier, you told me she fell walking down the stairs… ” Dr. Hampton peered his eyes at Ms. Waltz and crossed his arms, “You can lie to me all you want, and I know you are, but you may want to get your story straight for when you go talk to social services,” Dr. Hampton stated, slamming the binder shut. “Ms. Waltz, just think of Nicole, do it for Nicole. If you really love her, you’ll do what you think is best for her,” Dr. Hampton added in.

Ms. Waltz walked into the bright conference room. She sat down on the side of the long, rich, red oak table, and placed her head in her hands.
“Ms. Waltz?” A tall, lean woman, with blonde straight hair walked into the room. Ms. Waltz’s head shot up,
“Yes, nice to meet you,” Ms. Waltz muttered, standing up from the black, leather chair.
“My name is Shannon, I am here from family social services, and as you probably know, I have a few questions for you about Nicole’s incident,” the woman introduced, setting her brief case down on the table. Katherine nodded vigorously,
“Y-yes, what would you like to know? Sorry, I am still a little shaken up about this whole thing,” Ms. Waltz’s voice shook as she ran her hands through her ratty hair.
“Well for starters, how is your relationship with Nicole on a day to day basis?” Shannon asked, placing a pair of black cat-eye glasses on the bridge of her nose. Ms. Waltz’s eyes shifted to the pen in Shannon’s hand,
“I… I guess it’s okay,” Ms. Waltz hesitated, as she began to chew on her dirt-incrusted fingernails. Shannon looked over the rim of her glasses,
“You don’t live with Nicole’s father, correct?” Shannon questioned, taking a pen out of her jacket pocket.
“No, we left him when Nicole was about five years old. He was a drunk, he wasn’t a good father.” Samantha asked.
“Do you think you are a good mother? Do you ever fight with Nicole?“ Shannon questioned, leaning her forearms on the table. “Yes! What kind of question is that? And of course, everyone argues with their kid, it’s natural!” Ms. Waltz defended.
“On a scale of one to ten, one being disagreements ever so often and ten being every single day, what would you rank your arguments with Nicole?” Shannon inquired, resting her chin on her hand.
“I… I don’t know,” Ms. Waltz cried, leaning her head in her fingertips.
“Ms. Waltz, it says here you are on an antidepressant called Lexipro, what in your life is making you feel the need to be taking these?” Shannon probed.
“I have stress in my life! Is that so hard to believe?! I am a good mother for Nicole, okay? Nobody is perfect, everyone makes mistakes! This is ridiculous, I want to see Nicole, I need to check on Nicole,” Ms. Waltz cried as she threw the glass door open. She began to run to Nicole’s room, tears streaming down her face. “Don’t worry baby, Mommy is coming!” Ms. Waltz cried, pivoting into her daughter’s room. She grabbed Nicole’s hand and began shaking it. “Nicole I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to push you. It was an accident, you know it was! I would never want to hurt you, please, please wake up! Oh God, what have I done… I’ve turned into the monster I tried rescuing you from. I’m so, so sorry baby...” Ms. Waltz was now on her knees, tears streaming down her pale cheeks. In between sobs, she looked up to see her daughters eyes twitching, “Mom?”