She had loved Dirk for as long as she had known him. Hell, she still loved him. Even through all of this, she still couldn’t push him away, even in her own head.  She looked to the doorway that he had just left through, closed her red eyes, and waited for him to go to sleep. 

He put his arms around her, pulling her in close. She grinned and laughed as he lifted her into the air and spun her around.
“Dirk! Quit it, I’ll get dizzy!”
He placed her back down, looking her in the eyes and kissing her softly.  Catrina melted against him for a moment, then pulled herself back and asked, “Plans today?”
“Nope. Not a thing.”
Catrina smiled and nodded her head. 
“Then we can spend the day together?”
The smile fell from Dirks face.
“Well I didn’t say that I wanted to make plans. Jesus Cat, I need to live my own life once in a while.”
Catrina stepped back, visibly hurt by his words. He had been having outbursts like this just the past few months, and it scared her.
“Cat I…  I’m sorry honey, I don’t mean to snap. I-”
He sighed.
“It’s just been a long week. I just need some time to unwind.”

Dirk tipped her chin up, his eyes on hers.
“Forever?” He asked.
Catrina sniffed, a tear slipping down her cheek, and whispered, “For always.”
Dirk kissed her cheek softly and stepped away.
“I’ll be back in a little while, alright?”
She nodded as he walked out the door and started his stupid convertible, pulling out of the long driveway and on to the highway.

The beach house is a lot bigger when you’re in it alone. The hours scraped by, and Catrina felt every second as it passed.  From the morning on through the afternoon she watched people, couples passing along the beach.  She watched the sun fall behind the low waves and then the moon glow white between the stars, until she drifted off to sleep on the hard couch.
Squealing tires woke her from a dreamless slumber. She heard Dirk curse as he stumbled to the house, and she knew where he had been.  He pushed the door open with force, driving it hard into the wall.
“Cat! CAT! Where the hell are you?!”
She stayed put, and he stepped through the tall entryway toward her. Dirk practically fell onto the couch beside her, trying to focus his vision.  He wet his lips, stinking of liquor and said, “I’m sorry Cat. I’m so sorry. I don’t want to be this way, but,”
Something in his eyes changed, his gaze straighter.

“But you are a real b****.  You do this.  I might slip up, but you always go and cry and make me feel bad, even though I didn’t do a damn thing!”
He turned his face from her, looking at his hands opening and closing, clenching them.  Dirk stood, looking down on Catrina.
“It’s all your fault.”
He hung over her, fists balled and eyes dark. She could feel his anger pouring off in waves, keeping her frozen in place.  Dirk leaned forward toward her, and then rocked back on his heels. He put his hand out against the wall and turned away. Then, he fumbled through the house until he found his way to their bedroom.  A few minutes later all was quiet. Catrina’s tears fell, and the sobs that wracked her were silent. It was safer that way. 

Catrina left early the next morning, to the bus stop just a few blocks away from the beach house. It took her to the small, bustling costal town nearest to them, but it was still quite a distance to go very often.  A few kind words and warm smiles were already making her feel better, and it was just the start of the day. Relaxing in the little bars, looking out over the coast, and even sharing a few laughs with strangers. The day slipped past quicker than she expected, and she only just had time to make one last stop.
The evening bus dropped Catrina off, and she began the walk back to their house.  As she approached she first saw Dirk’s car, parked crookedly in the drive.  Getting closer she saw the long scrapes across the side, the missing mirror and smashed headlight. She stepped toward the front door, already starting to shake.  Inside, Dirk was sitting at the counter with a bottle in his hand.  He turned toward her on his stool and looked at her with watery, bloodshot eyes.

“Where the hell have you been? I don’t remember saying anything about you going shopping.  Its’s my money. Everything you have is mine, and on my dime I make the rules.”
He rose unsteadily up, taking a nip from the bottle and leaning on the counter.  Catrina put a shaking hand into her purse, and pulled the loaded revolver out, His eyes widened when he realized what it was.
“You don’t own me Dirk.  This was my house, remember? When I met you, you didn’t have a damn thing in the entire world, not even a penny to your name.  I gave you a job, a life!”
He set down the bottle. Catrina held the pistol in front of her, her hands trembling lightly.
“You don’t talk to me like that. Nobody talks to me like that.” Dirk mumbled.
Catrina held one slim finger against the trigger, her body shaking as tears welled in her eyes. 
“Hand the damn thing over Cat. Before you hurt yourself.”
Catrina stood, still pointing it at Dirk. He held out a hand, the other planted down so he could keep standing.  Her grip sagged, and she let it fall down into his waiting grasp.  Catrina hung her head, her tears falling down onto the tile floor.
“I’m sorry…” she whispered, clutching her hand against her chest.
“This won’t happen again.” Dirk said, speaking with less of a slur.
“It won’t, I promise.”
Catrina’s words came out unsteady, broken.
“I don’t need you to tell me that,” Dirk said softly.
She felt the cool metal against her skull.
“I already know it.”