One, meet a guy that is out of your league and only sees you as a friend. Two, acquire feelings unpretentiously just because you like the exhilarating taste of being in love with someone who doesn’t love you. Three, become so close to that person you can unmistakably remember the fragrance that indubitably causes you to reminisce on their overall existence. Four, hide the hurt until  the retching pain gets to be so intolerable you develop streaks in your face that the tears follow everytime you cry. Five, relinquish the rights that control your emotions because you’re so deeply invested you’ve decided to hand this person a key they aren’t aware is present. Six, establish false hope just for the hell of it, just to keep the ball rolling in this addictive charade. Seven, hate yourself for believing what was meant to be a stupefacient game turned into a dissonant reality. Eight, tell yourself that there isn’t anyone other person in the world that can make you this crazy. Nine, realize that this isn’t a healthy way to live. Ten, forget step nine and continue to throw your life away.

I fell in love even though I knew it would never happen. It made me happy knowing I had something to hold onto even though I cried myself to sleep. He cared about me so much he had to date other people because he couldn’t control his love for me. I love him so much I let it happen just to protect myself from the love that I so dangerously yearn for. He was like a drug that won’t kill me despite how much it hurts. I take a deep breath and inhale his soul. I let it go and exhale, just then he reaches my brain. As his life completely encompasses my nerves I reach the ultimate high. His hallucinogenic side effects showed me what a life with you would be like. Constant highs, the notion of him walking towards me just to say hi causes me to shudder as the full effect hits me. Then I got used to the feeling and I needed more. I took more and more from him. I started to resent him because he couldn’t give me what I wanted. As I cut him up into little pieces I inhaled more and more and eventually I ran out, because he ran out on me. So I found another drug to inhale and before I took my first taste I said to him in a whisper, “Take me with you when you go.”