Dearest Depression
(Liar, deceiving, morbid twist on life)                                                          
    You’re probably wondering now, “why are you writing me a letter”? Well my answer is why not? I’m a free person now, who will no longer do as you say or want me to. Just keep reading, you’ll soon know why. And before you jump to the conclusion that this letter has been mailed to the wrong address, sit back down. Further…Further… good. The mailman didn’t give this to you on accident. In fact, I wrote the address twice, and another time again to make sure it reaches you safe and sound. I think you deserve a reason for my departure.  I would want a reason if someone decided to leave my life all of a sudden. Every human capable of feeling would. Aha, calm selfish self down. Because no, you don't fall under the category of human. You are FAR from that, my dear.

    Enough talking about dramatic openings, let’s talk a little about our star of this letter. YOU. As in the monster who deprived me of sleep at night; the reason why I was never happy and always feeling like I didn't have something that everyone else had. That something was a life. Which I never was able to obtain while being with you.  I enjoyed having friends and being cared for. I really did. Not that it’s something you would know about, of course. You have no friends, not even acquaintances. I really miss making friends and not having to feel uncomfortable around them because you were dragging my self-confidence down. I honestly, truly, sincerely, and utmost genuinely don’t like you. There, I said it plain and bold. Bolder than a mozzarella cheese stick being dunked in jelly. Bolder than rainbow sprinkles on top of a low calorie salad. (That actually sounds kind of cool; I might try it after I write this letter) (I'm not watching the calories I consume anymore by the way; yesterday I ate a cheeseburger with onion rings. And I had a large chocolate milkshake. All to myself) (Is it even o.k. to use double-triple parenthesis while writing?)

             I don’t want to be anywhere near you; in fact I don’t want to have any memories connected to you. You’re always clinging to me too tight as if you don’t want to let go anytime soon. Well what if I wanted you to let go? Hmmmm? Do you ever think about what I want? Oh silly me, of course not, because you’re a selfish monster who only cares about yourself.  By the way, According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary you are defined as: monster- ‘an imaginary creature that is typically large, ugly, and frightening’. HA! Ugly! That is the biggest understatement of 2015! And that’s not the only thing wrong with the definition. You are not an imaginary creature. You lived inside my head, my heart, my thoughts, you lived in ME. You lived in me, feeding off my weaknesses, and jabbed at them until they were a bigger problem than they ever were in the first place. It seems like the more I felt unhappy, the stronger you got. Only sadistic people feed off the weaknesses of others, you know.
              You deceived me. You came into my life like a relief pill, and made me feel a temporary happiness when I was around you. You seemed inviting and gentle; sympathetic even. You welcomed me into your arms of hell and from there you slowly started attacking me. It started small. You made me think dark thoughts every once in a while. The thoughts then turned darker, and I experienced them more often. God, they were so terrible. They felt so real; I have goose bumps right now writing this. You stabbed me behind my back, and when I realized you weren’t just another kind person in this world, it was too late. You had a certain beauty that I should of realized from the start was so fake, so unnatural and bogus. Lord, I’m so stupid sometimes! I can’t believe I trusted you with everything I’ve ever known. I can’t believe I let you shred my life apart piece by piece until I was left with nothing but my very self. You were like a vicious tornado making ugly everything you touched. All the beauty from my life was drained, and your presence was so hideous no amount of makeup I wore could cover it. I was alone, then. I was completely and utterly alone. I didn’t even have my own shadow to keep me company; it left me when I was thrown in the darkness. Everybody left me. All thanks to you. I’m never making the same mistake again; I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes people aren’t what they seem to be. They’re like onions, I’ve decided. With layers and layers of secrets that you can only see when you have tears in your eyes.

             While I’m here let me put another label on you for a change. COWARD. You always stayed hidden, hiding behind me and letting me do your dirty work. No one saw you, so they blamed my poor behavior on me. Not that anyone would want to look at you. Who would? They might get sick and need to be admitted to an ER. I mean, if you’re as terrible in physical features as your ability to make me feel happy then you would win first place in Mr. Grotesque and Hideous. *GAG* I don’t even want to start imagining what color you toe-hair is. Ever heard that quote “Destroy what destroys you”? That’s why I’m here right now, jostling down my angers, my feelings, my emotions I’ve kept bottled up inside me for far too long. I’m here to destroy you. And the only way to do that is by ending our relationship.  Consider it never been. Nada. Harsh, I know but I’m sick of you. I can’t live like this anymore; you’re nothing but a sorry excuse for a word! I’m done with you. I’ve had to put up with you in the morning when you blew mockery kisses at me reminding me of what a terrible day I’m going to have. The reasons behind those terrible days were you. (Notice I used past tense) I’ve had to put up with you at school when you chanted a flow of ongoing words into my mind. The list goes on and on, but the few my mind has absorbed, rather painfully were; loser, freak, awkward kid, loner, pathetic, failure, letdown, nobody. And I believed every word of it. Who doesn’t believe what their partner tells them in a rather tight relationship like ours was?


             Today is the day I take a stand for the first time and tell you off. Today is the day I am no longer your property. You do not own me; I own myself and am free to choose what life I want to live. And I already chose. I want to live a life without you. In fact I never want you to cross my mind, ever again. I swear if you do, I will just plop down on the couch with a bucket of ice-cream and watch a funny movie. Like Dumb and Dumber. And forget about you once more. Not that it will ever have to get to that point. So this is it I guess. Time for me to go down my road, and time for you to go find some other poor, unfortunate soul to prey on. This must be one of the worst break ups in the world, but hey that’s how breakups are. Hurts like heck, but you’ll get over it. I’m sure you will. I’m already over it, while writing this letter. I would say goodbye but that sounds too casual and cliché, like something a wife says to her husband when he goes to pick up some groceries. Hmmm, how to end this… I got it! You don’t like Shakespeare but I do. It drives you crazy; you can’t stand it because it made me feel happy.  Which is why I like it so much, so without any more delay “good night sweet prince as choirs of angels sing thee to thy rest”.

A no longer depressed (and single) teenager,

I hate you more than I love food