PERFECT

  While they're waiting in line, an intercom blared, “At Sampson Prep, from ages fifteen to seventeen, girls go through a series of physical appearance checks, also called “The Mirror”. These checks test everything from pore size and contamination to what clothes the girls wear and and what size they are. On Friday, December 27th, 2023 the final evaluation with be made.Will the mirror break?” “Will the mirror break?” Sienna asked herself, as she waited in the torturously long line. “Number 286,” Sienna thought, inhaling deeply, breathing in courage and exhaling the anxiety. 20 lbs. overweight, Sienna dreaded this unfamiliar examination, knowing she will never qualify, or meet the standards. Sienna was different than most girls at her school, slightly pudgier and way curvier, but overall she was a healthy girl. As the hours continued to pass, the girls sauntered through the line until Sienna was finally next. The girl in front of her skipped towards the door smiling as if  she knew she’d pass, but then scoffed at the sight of Sienna. Thirty minutes passed before the door finally clicked open. The once perky girl came out of the examination room with bloodshot eyes, drained skin, and a bandage wrapped around her wrist. All the changes in her physical appearance and aura told Sienna what had happened.
“Next!” a stern, impatient voice yelled, beckoning Sienna. “Step on the scale.”
“Okay.” said Sienna, hesitantly stepping on the cool metal plate.
From there it seemed like hours had passed, the results she was awaiting were killing her and her imagination was beginning to run wild. As a result of her anxiety, Sienna began to perspire and drops of sweat were dripping down her forehead. In an instant, as if something exploded somewhere, the glass shattered. Shards flew in every direction and miniscule remains of the mirror were scattered across the floor and Sienna’s hair. Sienna screamed as the tiny pieces of glass pierced her skin creating tiny cuts along her body. After the glass had broken, Sienna was ordered to lied down on an examination table in only her undergarments, which made her feel very exposed. While she was accessing  her surroundings, a woman appeared.
"This is just a standard procedure." an unknown said. "My name is doct-"
"Sienna wake up!" someone began to scream."Sienna wake up mom said we're going to late for school."
"Huh?" Sienna questioned, as she opened up her eyes and realized it was just a dream.
It was orientation day at Samson Prep and all the students were filing into the auditorium to hear the annual orientation presentation.
"Hello ladies and gentlemen," Principal Harris said, sticking her chest out, which made her ribs show even more through her tight fitting blue top.
"Hello Principal Harris," the students said in unison.
"Now its time to begin the presentation," she said, pressing the key that brought millions of people of all shapes and sizes on to the screen.

For the past four years, Sienna had seen this presentation every year at the beginning of school year. The powerpoint presentation showcased what will be accepted, tolerated, and unacceptable at the school. The first couple of slides had very few words about school and district rules, but the most time consuming part of the presentation were slides of detailed photos of acceptable and unacceptable body types of the school. Those listed under DON’T were pictures of people who were malnourished and underfed, and others were photos of people who were morbidly obese. Despite there being so many pictures of what's not accepted ant Samson Prep, there were few, at the most three, pictures of what was considered the “perfect” body type and look of the school. Each presentation would end with Principal Harris saying, “These standards may be ridiculous and are often hard to meet, but they're only in place for the health and wellbeing of our boys and girls.Remember ladies and gentlemen, anything is possible through hard work dedication, and determination,” Principal Harris said, dismissing the sophomore and junior students to their homeroom.
“You know it never really occured to me how little the powerpoint focuses on our education,” said  Sienna walking down the hall with her best friend, Maria.
After walking for quite some time, a random guy comes down the hallway on his skateboard and slammed right smack into Maria, knocking the books out of her hands and onto the floor.
“Watch where you're going asshole!” Maria screamed.
“Oh shut up twig!” the guy screamed back.
“T---!”
“W----!”
“Twig. Huh? I actually don't mind that one,” said Maria, dropping to floor to help Sienna pick up her books and school papers.
“Why twig?” Sienna asked.
“What are these?” Maria shrieked, running her hands along the three red lines that were beginning to creep up Sienna’s sides.
“What?” Sienna questioned.“I grew a lot over the summer.”
“Hmm… I don’t know about that,” Maria said as they finally reached their homeroom.
After a long first day of school Sienna and Maria, since they were both Juniors, had to attend and extra hour long class in preparation for the physical appearance examination that they'll be taking once a year for the next two years of high school.
“Welcome ladies,” Mrs. Barnes said, beginning the class as the final group of girls filed into the classroom.
“Hello Mrs. Barnes,” all the girls all said in unison .
“Hello ladies. Are you ready to begin the class?”
In response, the girls nodded their heads and listened intently to everything she said and took notes. After forty-five minutes had passed, Mrs. Barnes asked the girls, “Who wants to be my volunteer for our first activity?” Before she finished talking, all the girls hands shot up in the air, all except for one.
“Sienna I choose you, ”Mrs. Barnes said, beckoning the teenage girl to the front of the classroom.
“Okay,”she said meekly.
“Now girls we’re going to take these red markers and mark up every problem area and flaw on Sienna’s body. Then, once we’re done we’ll allow her to see herself and how perfect she may or may not be,” Mrs. Barnes said taking out her fine red permanent marker. “Sienna please remove your clothes, but leave on your undergarments.”
“Okay,” Sienna said, as she took off her clothes and climbed onto the cool metal table.
For the next fifteen minutes the girls marked, poked, and prodded at her body. After they finished, she stood in front of the mirror, and saw her entire body was marked up. Stunned, she found herself unable to move.
“Thank you ladies, and I cannot wait to continue this lesson on Thursday,” said Mrs. Barnes, dismissing the other girls after she noticed Sienna’s sudden discomfort.
After standing in front of the mirror for ten minutes, Sienna realized where she was and gathered her things and put her clothes back on. Before she said goodbye to Mrs. Barnes, Sienna rushed out the door as the tears began to run down her cheeks. Her time on the examination table was mainly a blur to her, but she remembered some things. Although it was a blur to her, she still remembered the girls saying things like, “ Stretch marks eww”, “Oh god her arms are hideous, and even her own best friend saying “I’m glad I’m not her right now because it is not looking good.” Knock, Knock, Knock, somebody banged on the door of Sienna’s car. By the time she looked up the person was gone. “Who was that?” she asked herself as she continued to wallow in her self pity. The next day Sienna came to school looking the worst she ever had in a long time. Her skin was pale and blotchy, and it was evident through her appearance and somber demeanor that she had been crying the night before. Despite her usual jovial attitude towards learning, she rarely participated in class and sauntered and trudged through the hallways of the school. As their final class approached, Sienna had begun to contemplate skipping school all together.
“Don’t leave me,” Maria said, as she dragged Sienna down the hall.
“I don’t want to be here,” said Sienna, as she yanked her arm away from Maria.
“Why not?”
“Because I rather not repeat yesterday’s events. Do you know how long I stayed up last night crying, wondering why all these are wrong with me?” said Sienna, lifting up her shirt and revealing the red ink that stained her skin.
“Oh.”
“Oh?”
“Just come to class anyway.”
“Okay I guess I’ll come.”
“Good. Do you know there’s a color called Burnt Sienna.?”
“Really? That’s cool,” Sienna said, as she opened the door to Mrs. Barnes’ classroom.
After settling into the class and finding their seats, the girls listened intently to Mrs. Barnes’ lesson. Seeing a smile on Sienna’s face made Maria happy and less concerned about her friend.
“Sienna, can you come talk to me after the bell?”  Mrs. Barnes said.
“Sure,” Sienna said, gathering her things as she heard the bell ring.
“I  saw you inside of your car yesterday after class,” Mrs. Barnes said
“Oh that was you?”
“Yes. I asked to talk to you because I was wondering how you were feeling after yesterday’s activity.”
“At first I felt ashamed of my body, and I felt that I’d never fit in and be beautiful like the other girls, but now I’m okay.”
“I apologize for putting you on the spot yesterday, and there’s no need to feel ashamed about your body.”
“Okay I’ll try not to feel that way anymore.”
“If you ever need someone to talk to I’m here and willing to listen and give advice.”
“Okay if I ever need something, I’ll stop by,” said Sienna opening the door.
“Have a good day Sienna,” said Mrs. Barnes.
After days had gone by, the red ink from the markers still hadn’t washed off and was beginning to haunt her. The constant reminder of her flaws was beginning to wear at her confidence and self-esteem. Noticing a shift in her attitude and change in her confidence, Mrs. Barnes introduced Sienna to an old diet and confidence building exercises that she has used in the past. After Sienna began using her techniques she noticed no change in her appearance and was convinced that her methods did not work. Weeks had passed and the examination day was approaching quickly. So far, the diet Mrs, Barnes told her to try wasn't working; in fact, it caused her to gain more weight. Her size two jeans were becoming tighter and tighter, and her weight gain was beginning to show.
“Sienna it’s time to eat.” Mrs Grayson yelled from the kitchen as she finished fixing everyone's plate.
“I’m not going to eat tonight,” Sienna yelled from the top step.
“Good. I was wondering when you were going to stop shoving food down your throat.”
“Excuse me.”
“ You heard what I said. You look like you’re gaining more and more weight everytime I see you. You’re fa-”
“Don’t you dare.”
“You're fat.”
“You b****.”
“What did you just call me?”
“A b****. B****.
“ Sienna Marie Grayson you better get your fat ass down here and apologize.”
“Bite me.” Sienna said , walking back to room and slamming the door behind her.

Although she was angry at her mother, she was saddened and astonished by her mother's comment on her appearance. The result of the argument with her mother was beginning to wear on Sienna’s confidence and her mother’s comment continued to resonate with her. Also, a result of  their argument, Sienna began to fast and limit herself to 700 calorie diet every other week for three months.
“Have you lost some weight?” Mrs. Grayson asked, as she watched her daughter look at herself in the mirror.
“Does it look like I did?” said Sienna, snapping at her mother.
“Don’t get smart with me,” exclaimed Mrs. Barnes, “I was going to tell you, you look good.”
“Oh my God, you’re such a liar.”
“I do not lie Sienna.”
“Sure you don’t, I know see the billowing rows that line my back and the stretchmarks growing up my sides,” said Sienna, as she fell to her knees and started to bawl. Instead of questioning Sienna, Mrs. Grayson got down on the floor with her daughter and held Sienna close to her.
“I’ll never be like them,” said Sienna, as the tears fell down her cheeks . 
The next day Sienna skipped all of her classes, except for one, Mrs. Barnes’ class.“First of all I’d like to say it was a pleasure teaching you ladies. Second, I’d like to say that today’s lesson, our final lesson before the big test tomorrow, is a little bit different. Unlike most of the activities we’ve done it’ a confidence and healthy body image building exercise.” Mrs. Barnes said as their preparation course as coming to an end. “ Look at yourself in the mirror and tell your partner what you see.”
“I see an ugly fat girl with acne scars, pores the size of creators, and a gap between her two front teeth.”

“Get the London look.”said Maria
“Haha very funny.” Sienna said, taking the joke way too serious.”
“Whoo I crack myself up.” said Maria, trying to catch her breath.
“Now girls tell your partners in front of the mirror what you see.” said Mrs. Barnes.
“ I see a beautiful  healthy young girl who resembles a teenage Cara Delevingne.”
“Oh you’re such a liar, but she is gorgeous.”
“ Now draw for me the reflection you see when you look in the mirror.”
The girls picked up their red markers and egan drawing on the mirrors what they saw. Once they were done, they were told to place their backs against the mirror and and trace their outlines over what they saw themselves to be. Most results were very accurate, ut Siennas was astonishing and shocking to see how much different her two outlines were.After noticing how different her two outlines were and the fact that everyone was staring at her, Sienna rushed out the classroom once again. The next day Sienna saw all the other girls in line waiting to take the test. While waiting in line she noticed the aftermath and different results  Some girls cried and others came out more confident and radiant that before. “Number 286,” Sienna thought, inhaling deeply, breathing in courage and exhaling the anxiety. Even with the knowledge she has learned about the examination, Sienna still dreaded the uncertainty of the the unfamiliar test.As the hours continued to pass, the girls sauntered through the line until Sienna was finally next. The girl in front of  her skipped towards the door smiling as if  she knew she’d pass, but then scoffed at the sight of Siena. “Hasn’t this happened already?” Sienna thought, trying to recall where she’s seen this happened.Thirty minutes passed before the door finally clicked open. The once perky girl came out the examination room with bloodshot eyes, drained skin, and a bandage wrapped around her wrist. All the changes in her physical appearance and aura told Sienna what had happened.
“Next!” a stern, impatient voice yelled, beckoning Sienna. “Step on the scale.”
“Okay.” said Sienna, hesitantly stepping on the cool metal plate.
From there it seemed like hours had passed, the results she was awaiting were killing her and her imagination was beginning to run wild. As a result of her anxiety, Sienna began to perspire and drops of sweat were dripping down her forehead. “ This is too similar to the dream I had” Sienna said to herself. After it seemed like hours had passed, hundreds of words appeared on the mirror pointing out all of Sienna’s flaws and diagrams of everything that’s wrong with her body. In an instant, as if it all became too overwhelming for her, Sienna slammed her fists against the mirror and caused it to break and shattered into thousands of pieces.
“ I will never be perfect, nor will I ever again try to conform and meet your standards!” Sienna screamed , picking up a piece of glass and dragging it across her neck, ending her life.
Stepping from behind the two-way mirror, Principal Harris came to examine the scene and state of  the examination room
“Dispose of her,” Principal Harris said.” We don’t need the news of her suicide getting out to the public.”
“Why not Mrs.Harris?” Mrs. Barnes questioned.
“Because it'll ruin the reputation of the school. Why would parents send their children to a school the has had a suicide on their grounds? They wouldn’t.”
“There are plenty of other reasons why parents wouldn’t send their children to this school.”
“Do you want to lose your job Mrs. Barnes? Or should I call you Fat Janice like everyone did in high school? And if you don’t keep your little mouth shut, that’s exactly what’s going to happen.”
“ I personally don’t care if my lose my job or not. I have no interest in working here anymore.”
“Oh God. I hate people like you.”
“What’s wrong with people like myself?”
“I don’t have to explain anything to you.”
“That’s fine. I understand where you’re coming from.” said Mrs. Barnes. “Not everyone is corrupt like you are Principal Harris, and you will not torture the young women and men of this school ever again.”
After Sienna’s death, Mrs. Barnes pleaded with the staff of Samson Prep and district board of education to inform the public of Sienna Marie’s demise. Despite her efforts, she was never granted permission, and eventually she was sent to a mental institution for various psychological issues.

20 years later
On December 29, 2043 Sienna’s suicide note was found in a box full of letters hidden underneath her bed. In the letter Sienna wrote:
Dear Mama, Papa, and Maria,
First of all, I’d like to tell you I love you and will forever miss you. While I am up in heaven I will be looking down on you and watching you from up above. I want you to know that my pain and sorrow has finally ended and I’ve finally made it home and I’m with our Lord and Savior,Jesus Christ. I’ve decided to take my life because i cannot bear to live in this world any longer . I’ve been harassed and abused verbally, physically , mentally , and emotionally, and I’ve decided I can't take it any longer. I hope you all see that you’re beautiful and instill in others all that you have to me. I cannot tell you the countless times I’ve looked in the mirror and hated what I saw looking back at me. Do we have to have to have perfect skin, hair, or a perfect body to be beautiful? The even bigger question is: why does our appearance determine our acceptance in society. It is pointless in my opinion. How do we define beauty? I believe that we are all beautiful in our own ways. The also believe that the idea of being perfect doesn't exist, and if it did what  and whose standards would we base it on. Have you ever heard of the saying. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” I wish things would have turned out like this and may my death and I be a martyr for something greater.

Forever and Always,
Sienna Marie