I adjusted the sights on my M4 for the third time, a sense of power overcame me as a realized that I can now make a difference. That feeling was replaced by fear and anxiety as I looked around the humvee and realized what I gotten myself into. I was in a war, someone in this vehicle isn't going to go home. I always think death is the thing that always happens to the other man, maybe I'm that man. didn’t want to become friends with anyone in there. Friends get you killed or get killed, so I've heard. The man to my left was Corporal Baxter, he seemed nice enough. To my right was Private Oswalt, I didn’t really like him, his mannerisms, his condescending attitude were all just too much for me. Everyone in the vehicle were in a conversation; about what, I don't know. I think it was about their favorite resturant. Baxter nudged me and asked me if I was alright. I nodded, although I know I wasn't. I have never been so scared in my life. The orders were clear; secure the village, eliminate any resistance, and wait for further orders. Simple enough, yet in war nothing is as it seems. A few places ahead of our Humvee was a tank, and I mean those things are remarkable. The books and movies never capture the true feeling of being in the presence of one. I regripped my rifle with my shaky hands, hoping the feeling of security would calm my nerves. Oswalt asked me if I was just another aspiring  war hero seeking glory in this desert. Right when I opened my dry mouth, a vehicle in front of us erupted in a fiery ball of twisted metal. It all seemed so far away, yet so close. I'm not sure if it was shrapnel or a bullet, but whatever it was, it hit our driver in the neck. He didn't make a sound as his head fell on the dashboard. The Humvee filled with yelling, our 50- cal began firing, shells landed in my lap. The entire world seemed to erupt into gunfire. Bullets began to hit our vehicle, Baxter and Oswalt both got out and took cover on the open doors. Part of me wanted to move, but part of me wanted to stay. I got my fix of war when our driver was killed. The man who was just laughing a minute ago was gone. I never felt so alone as I did as when I watched that man's blood pour onto the dash and the floor. In all of that gunfire, I heard a voice, it took me a second to connect it to Baxter. My head turned to see him for motioning for me to get out. I started to slide out slowly, looking into his eyes, they were warm and comforting and the loneliness I felt seemed to leave me as I left the vehicle. Baxter moved me to the rear end of the vehicle where we met Oswalt. Baxter told me we need to regroup with 2nd squad at the tank, I nodded, I got what he said but it felt like he wasn't speaking English. I noticed our Humvee's 50 cal stopped firing. The gunner lay dead in the middle of the vehicle, right where I was sitting. Baxter got my attention again and pointed out a flipped over Humvee that we needed to get to, for cover and we needed to check for survivors. He counted down as I did as well in my head. He got to zero and we sprinted. I almost didn't notice the bullets hitting the ground near us. "They're shooting at me.... Me..." I thought as I ran. I felt... Special. We made it to the Humvee, I sat down and caught my breath, a radioman was already there, he was trying to call in for backup, but he started to slur some. Blood began pouring out of his mouth as he tried to talk. I looked down and saw he was holding his side, I caught a glimpse of his organs as his hand slipped. Baxter, Oswalt, and me just stared as this man; no, this child, he couldn't of been older than 20, died before our eyes. His cry for help ceased as he fell on his side, blood poured onto the hot sand.  Baxter took a deep breath, Oswalt grunted and looked away. A loud boom caused the sand around me to shake, my heart stopped, my ears throbbed, the tank was firing. A grin formed on my face. Baxter asked to check for survivors, Oswalt told him to let the newbie earn his stripes. Baxter gave me a reassuring smile as I was about to hop on top of the vehicle and look inside. If only everyone at home could see this. The girls that left me, the boys that teased me, oh boy if they could see me now. I climbed up and looked down into the Humvee. The window had a splatter of blood on it. I saw a man, half of his face was missing, I looked around more and saw brains and blood were sprayed all over the interior. I don't know how long I looked inside, but I looked up and saw an even grimer scene. Bodies were spread all around the sand, a trail of fallen soldiers showed the diagonal path to the tank. soldiers were hiding behind their humvees, ocassinally firing at the black dots on the hill above us. with every shot we fired, the enemy respoded with three more. In the middle of all of this, a soldier was on his knees, I'm not sure if he was shot or just gave up, I know I would if I was him. Maybe he was praying, before I could get a better look, a bullet tore through his chest, spraying blood all over the sand behind him. He fell backwards and his dead eyes stared at the sky. Another letter to a heartbroken family. I'm not sure if it was a mortar or an RPG, but an explosion sent me flying backwards and everything went black. I almost forgot I was in this god forsaken desert, maybe it was all just a bad dream and I would wake up in my bed. I wish that was the case. The sun burned as I opened my eyes, my ears hurt and were ringing. Everything hurt, to be honest. I looked at my left hand and saw my middle and ring fingers were twisted in a direction that they weren't meant to be in. In looked down at my body. The unfiform I once wore so proudly was tattered and covered in blood. I tasted that red liquid as I sat up. A bullet landed a few inches away from me, then another, an another. I realized I was in the open. I turned to where the Humvee was and saw Oswalt yelling at Baxter. I was told Baxter can keep his cool in any situation, and now I saw it with my own eyes. I began crawling towards the Humvee. The battle was nowhere near as loud as it was, then I realized that I couldn't hear out of my left ear, I felt blood trickle down on my jaw from my ear. I stopped crawling and began limping towards Baxter, he turned and his expression showed happiness as he saw me get closer. I picked up a rifle, I'm not sure if it was mine or not, I didn't care. After what felt like a lifetime; I made it, not bad for a man with at least a sprained ankle. Baxter told me the enemy had let up some, and now was our window to get to the tank. I looked at the tank, a group of soldiers were behind it, men who felt just like us at one point. We started running, the whizz of bullets filled my good ear. Baxter was behind me, Oswalt was in front. A bullet blew out Oswalt's left Achilles' tendon, he hit the ground like a ton of bricks. I stopped and stared. Baxter stopped and told me to keep moving, I said nothing. Oswalt was crying for his mom and God, anyone who could help him. I told Baxter to move to the tank and get a medic, he sighed and ran to the tank. Everyone at the tank was encouraging me to keep moving, but their waves and cries meant nothing to me. I looked down at the man who made my life as difficult as possible, the man who made me hate myself every day. I could still make it to the tank no problem, but I couldn't take my eyes off of the man squirming on the ground in pain. I could leave, tell myself he wasn’t worth it. The tank was farther away than the Humvee. I slung my rifle over my shoulder, grabbed Oswalt's vest and began dragging him to the Humvee. Everyone at the tank watched with their mouths open as a dragged this man through a hail of gunfire I felt a searing pain in my leg, and it took me a minute to realize, I've been shot. I never stopped moving. Another bullet found its way into my side, I was so close, I couldn't stop then. We made it to the Humvee, I propped Oswalt up and gave him my canteen, he gave me a pained smile. I looked at the enemy, rage filled my heart. The medic couldn't make it over here under this heat. I grabbed my M4 from my shoulder, wrapped the strap around my left hand, and turned off the safety for the first time. I took a few deep breaths and looked at my wounds, blood spurted out with each heartbeat. I said a prayer as I left the cover of the Humvee and began firing at the enemy. The recoil cause pain to shoot up my already hurting shoulder. I fired at the black sillouetes, but I couldn't hit them. It felt like my bullets were doing nothing, then one found its target. I saw the black figure sway some, and then he fell. I just took away what I could not create. Almost as a punishment, a bullet flew into my left shoulder, I staggered back some. Another one found its way to my right thigh. I fired three more rounds, then I heard a click. As I reached down for another magazine, another piece of hot led tore through my hand and hit me in the stomach. One more skimmed my neck, blood sprayed onto my uniform. My rifle hit the sand. I've always wondered where the point of no hope is for a wounded soldier, because I knew I was there. My mouth filled with blood as lost my balance and fell backwards into the darkness.

The sun no longer burns as I open my eyes. I look at the Humvee and see the medic helping Oswalt, I turn my head to the tank and see a tearful Baxter being held by the other soldiers. I look back up at the sun, I feel less alone laying with all the dead and dying, knowing I'm part of them now. I hope my mamma takes this news well. My sister will have to help her, I wonder if John set a date for them yet, it doesn’t matter to me now. I wonder what they will do with all of my stuff at home. My breathing becomes forced yet also natural. As the world fades to black I say to myself in a soft voice, "I've been through hell, time to go to heaven."

Military glory--that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood--that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
~Abraham Lincoln