“Manual” on “How to Drive”
1 – Observe speed limit, go (at least) roughly 5 miles over
2 – Don’t let everyone pull out/cross; you aren't going to get good driving karma for it, you’re just slowing down traffic.
3 – TURN DOWN YOUR SUBWOOFERS, no need to rattle your insides and brain with the bass
4 – If you drive a lifted diesel truck, know how wide it is and don’t go 10 ft. over the line
5 – If you drive a “Stanced” Car that is not a good excuse for taking an hour to pull into traffic
6 – DON’T FREAKING TEXT YOU AREN'T GOOD AT MULTITASKING
7 – Don’t make awkward eye contact to the people in the car next to you; they may be a serial killer
8 – If you have a soup can/BRAAPP-BRAAPP!!! exhaust then please go home and reevaluate your life
9 – I wasn't joking
10 – If you have a “muscle” car, know how to drive, life isn't all about peeling out of dairy queen
11 – SUV’s/Mini Van’s, find a parking spot instead of blocking the street, I am just as special as your kids
12 – Have good music/music that fits the car, I don’t want to see any mini-vans with gangsta rap blasting
13 – Be nice to motorcycles. Mopeds (except Honda Ruckus’s) and imports bikes are not people
14 – IF YOU PUT YOUR WASHERS ON WHEN YOU’RE ON THE HIGHWAY I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN
15 – Don’t bomber dive across the road to get into dunkies, its only iced coffee, it isn't even that good
16 – When the light changes, your foot better be down or I'm blowing the horn
17 –Don’t say that your car goes like a rocket ship after putting 93 octane in it for the first time
18 – I understand you just watched Fast N’ Furious/Need for Speed, but don’t try to race everything in sight, you’re probably going to chicken out after you go 5 mph over
19 – Even though turn signals “give away your next move” please use them
20 – Digital your speed signs won’t give you a ticket, don’t slow down