Every child, when they were little, was always told “Don’t run with scissors!”, “Don’t play with knives!”, “Sharp objects are dangerous and can cut you!” I’m not sure about everyone else, but there have only been several occasions where I have been cut with sharp objects. Although, I usually end up with tiny cuts on my hands at least once a week. Those vexatious cuts that I randomly obtain, are mainly from paper. PAPER. The object that we use on a daily basis, and can never seem to acquire enough of, is the one weapon that leaves me, and certainly everyone with random slashes on their body.

To begin with, the “Dangerous Weaponry of Weapons and Objects Association” started a chart naming the most common objects that hurt people the most. Starting from ten, the least common, to number one, the most common. On that chart, they rated paper as number two, with razors being the first. Paper doesn’t only leave tiny cuts, but those cuts, usually unnoticeable to us, often attract germs, leading to an infection, and leading to death.

Secondly, papers are made from trees. A reasonable amount of scientists have confirmed that in the process of making paper from trees, they do not carefully examine and extinguish the extra dirt and muck. This, is why paper cuts sting severely and cause so much pain.

Third, the military has secretly been making paper airplanes to exceedingly attack and gash at other soldiers from other countries. One of the reasons for why there isn’t a World War III, is because there are not enough paper in the world to persecute other countries whilst trying to defend our own, and publish books and assign homework.

Fourth, studies have shown that the more paper we fabricate, the more innocent trees’ lives we captivate. It is a very proven fact that trees are the interior of our existence, endowing every form of living thing with oxygen. A theory that scientists have proposed, is whether or not oxygen can heal wounds. As slits are being made with a utensil that has a vast amount of oxygen, we are just disusing oxygen by cutting ourselves with it, other than applying the paper on us, helping us heal other wounds.

Lastly, we tend to have the urge to protect our wounds from germs. At school, work, or home, we often ask for a bandage when we acknowledge a cut. The prevalent response is usually “it’s just a tiny cut. You’ll be fine.” WRONG. A cut is a cut. All cuts are dangerous, especially from the sharp implement that is a piece of paper.
Please copulate with me to stop paper cuts from causing deaths and wars. Let us do to paper what it does to us. Let us cut out paper cuts from existence.