Everything was quiet. Maybe too quiet. The only sound that could be heard, was the sound of the droplets falling in the already full bath. It’s was a very calm and regular sound, but listening to it for too long would probably make someone go crazy. Everything smelled like bluebell. Maybe not only bluebell. There was a different smell, a very light smell of iron. It was a very modern and opulent bathroom, everything was made of a rare pure white marble and drawn by a famous french designer. Everything was white. Maybe not so white. In all this white, there was a red-pink spot.












*

Lying in the snow, she remembers her day.

As a senior, Jolie had some advantages. As the top student, she had even more advantages. But most of her advantages came from her popularity. One of those advantages was the most wanted parking space. It was the closest place to the entrance of the school and the easiest place to park. It wasn’t that she needed or wanted it, but the others students had given it to her and she thought that it would be rude to refuse. She usually prefers to walk from her house to the school, but during winter, when it is cold and snowy, she really appreciated that parking space. Today was one of those days when Mother Nature attempted to enshroud the black trash of the human society with her white and pure snow. Today was one of those days when Jolie was really happy to have that parking space. She rushed in the school building, a place where Mother Nature’s snow couldn’t cover the human’s trash, and she almost knocked down a girl. She knew her … she was her friend.
“What are you doing standing right behind the front door where nobody can see you?” Jolie asked, surprised to see her friends so early in the morning when they usually slept until the last moment before coming to school.
“Happy Birthday, Jolie!” shouted all her friends together, like if they were only one voice.
“What? my birthday?” She asked confused. “Is it today?”
“Yes … it is … how can you not know when is your birthday?” asked her best friend. “Didn’t your parents wish you a Happy Birthday this morning?”
“No, they are not at home right now.” Jolie simply answered.
“What!” exclaimed another one of her friends. “Why aren’t they here for their daughter’s birthday?! They are so mean!”
“They are on a very important business trip.” answered Jolie in a matter of fact way. “Since their company has merged with another big company, they started more and more overseas travel.” she added with a cheerful voice, that was betrayed by the sad look in her eyes.
But her friend who didn’t see it, seemed to calm down a little, and said, “But still, they should be there for your 18th .”
“Now that you are talking about it, I think that they were supposed to come back yesterday …. Oh! I remember,” explained Jolie while the sadness in her eyes disappeared. “They called me yesterday to say that their flight was canceled due to the bad weather and to tell me that they would take the earliest flight this morning. But I hope that the weather today will allow them to come back.” said Jolie while looking at the thick pure and white cover of snow on the other side of the window.
After hearing that, everybody calmed and an awkward silence settled. Then the silence was broken by Jolie’s best friend who said, “Jolie! You are shivering! Are you cold?”
“Yes, I’m kind of cold today.” answered Jolie.
“Then we should probably go to our lockers. The front door isn’t the best place to have a long discussion.” concluded her best friend.

As Jolie walked toward her locker, a lot of people wished her a Happy Birthday. She always replied by saying thank you. It was simple. Maybe too simple, but she didn’t know what else she could have said since she couldn’t remember all those people’s names. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to remember. It was just that she couldn’t remember them. She couldn’t even recognize their faces. Everyday, it seemed like they were new people. But it wasn’t only the others students, she even seemed to have trouble remembering her friends or her past. She knew she had happy memories but she didn’t remember them. But even worse, she seemed to have trouble remembering her parents. She knew she had a lovely family but she didn’t have any memories of her and her family together.
“What kind of gift do you think that your boyfriend will give you this time?” asked her best friend, which made Jolie forget about what she was thinking.
“I don’t know.” answered Jolie who was starting to be excited.
As her excitement increased, she started to walk faster and when she arrived, she tried to unlock her locker quickly. But even if she was trying to go fast it seemed like everything went slower and slower today. She finally unlocked it and she quickly opened the door but there was nothing in her locker. She immediately closed it. She couldn’t believe it, there should have been a gift in her locker.
“Oh come on, you still haven’t opened it yet?” asked her friend who apparently didn’t see that Jolie had just close it. “Here, I will do it for you.” She says while she opened the door. And like by magic, this time there were gifts.
Jolie couldn’t believe it. Just a second before, there was nothing and now, there were gifts. Did she imagine it? Maybe. After all, today, she wasn’t feeling very well. Maybe she had a temperature. Maybe that was why it seemed to be so cold in the school today.
“Are you going to open these gifts in 10 years?! Come on, open them!” almost shouted her friend.
Jolie who didn’t want to annoy her friend, opened the first gift which was shaped like a little box.
“Oh ... It is so cute! It’s a necklace with a heart.” said her friend with a voice that didn’t hide her jealousy. “Quick open the other one, I want to see.”
Jolie opened the second gift which was way bigger and seemed to have a lot of things inside and she discovered make-up, brushes, headbands and some other beauty products.
“Oh well … it is nice but … I never wear make-up and he knows that. So why would he give me that?” asked Jolie surprised by that unexpected gift.
“Well …” started her friend with a voice suddenly nicer but uncertain, “maybe that you should start using some… You know it has been a few days since you started to lose your peaches and cream complexion and started to have blackheads and bags under your eyes. You should take better care of yourself … For example, you used to have such beautiful hair that looked likes calm waves in the sea and had a gold color. But look at your hairstyle now ... your hair is all frizzy, going crazy and has a faded yellow color.” At the end, even if her voice was still nice, you could almost see a little of disgust in her friend’s eyes but it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.
“I have no idea what you are talking about. I sleep a lot so how could I have bags under my eyes and I take care of my skin and look every morning in the mirror to see if there are blackheads but I don’t find any. And for my hair, I brush it every day at least twice. It is because of the humidity in the school today that it becomes frizzy.” replied Jolie.
Her friend looked at her for a moment without saying anything and then, she joyfully asked, “Open the last one, the weird shaped one.”
Jolie opened the third present. That gift was strange even her friend didn’t know what to say. The gift was an envelope with a blank card inside, a razor blade and a bottle of bluebell bath soap. Her friend started to say something but just at that time the bell rang.


Jolie’s boyfriend was in the same first block class as her. Jolie wanted to thank him for the necklace but she also wanted to ask him questions about the other gifts. However, one hours had already passed and he still wasn’t here. She was almost certain that he was at school today. Otherwise, the gifts wouldn’t have been in her locker. She wasn’t able to pay attention to what the teacher was saying today. She was worried about her boyfriend. She was going to try asking to his friends if they knew what happened to him, when she heard what they were talking about.
“I saw him go in the bathroom with a girl right before the bell ring and when I went to the bathroom 5 minutes later, I heard gross sound. I am sure that they are doing it.” said one of the guy apparently excited by that idea.
“Are you sure that it was him? After all, Jolie is here. Wouldn’t he do that with his girlfriend?” asked the other boy.
“No. It was definitely him. I can recognize my best friend, you know. By the way, he told me that they still didn’t do it.” said the first boy who was almost laughing.
“What? They have been together for so long and they still haven’t done that?” asked the other boy surprised.
“Yes. Unbelievable right? Jolie is nice and is or more exactly was beautiful. But she is naive and also stupid to believe that a guy can be faithful. Especially when the guy is so popular.” said the first boy.
Jolie couldn’t believe it. It was like a nightmare. She needed to confirm the veracity of what she just heard.


When the bell announcing the break rang, Jolie was the first one to leave the room. Everybody was surprised, Jolie usually stayed in class during breaks to asked extra questions. But today, she ran toward the bathroom. Well, she tried to run, but after ten seconds, she was already out of breath.
She didn’t understand why she felt so weak today. She turned a corner and then saw him, but with another girl. Her head started to spin, she closed her eyes for two seconds and when she opened them again, he was alone. There was nobody else in the hallway, that girl wasn’t there. He saw Jolie and went toward her.
“Are you alright? You look really pale? Should I take you to the nurse?” He asked her with a worried look on his face.
“I am alright.” answered Jolie. “And you? Are you alright? Why weren’t you there during first block?”
“The school has humidity problem and something happened in the boys’ bathroom, so I helped repair and clean. By the way, Happy Birthday! Do you like the necklace?” He asked her with sparkles in his eyes.
“Yes! Thank you. It is a really nice necklace. But right now, I have some other questions that I would like to ask you.” She told him.
“I’m glad that you like the necklace … Sorry, I can’t listen to those questions now. I need to go explain to the teacher why I wasn’t there during his class.” He answered while running away. “See you at lunch!” He shouted from the other side of the hallway.
Jolie knew that the two hours before lunch would be very, very long.


The cafeteria was almost full today, probably because it was meatballs with tomato sauce today. Since Jolie wasn’t eating, she had to keep a table for her friends. The two hours of classes went indeed very slowly. But something really strange happened during the second class. Jolie was looking at the envelope that she had received for her birthday and had decided to look at it one more time. She had opened it expecting to find the blank card. But the card wasn’t blank anymore, something was written on it. It was: I made a small mistake; I accepted the wrong boy. That small mistake lended to others bigger mistakes. Everyday, I tried to dream but my dreams always ended-up in nightmares, in my daily nightmare, my daily pain, my daily life, my reality. On this special day, I will make my last mistake; I will end what starts exactly 18 years ago. If I could start again, I would do that last mistake again, because it is already too late for me. My wish, my trust, and my will, are already crushed. But I hope that my last mistake will make people realize that this mistake isn’t the right thing to do.
She still didn't know why that card had made tears appeared at the corner of her eyes while she was reading it. But, even if she didn't really understand the meaning of the card, she could still understand that there was definitely a lot of sadness in those words. She hadn’t really thought about it at first, but now that she was looking at it again, she wondered who wrote it. She thought at first that it was maybe her boyfriend but the handwriting was too delicate to be his. And then, she realised it. It was her handwriting. But she had never written that letter and why would her boyfriend give her something that she wrote? There was definitely something strange. While she was thinking about all the strange things that had happened today, she saw her friends and her boyfriend looking around. They were probably looking for her. She stood up and waved her hand so they could see her. But at the same time, a boy near her, stumbled and his plate and glass, still full of meatballs with tomato sauce and milk, ended-up on Jolie’s white pull-over. A silence settled in the cafeteria but was quickly interrupted by some laughs, then the whole cafeteria started to laugh. The boy came near Jolie and apologized but she could see a smirk appeared on his face. It was so humiliating. She couldn’t take it anymore. She began to run but fell many times, which made the laughs louder and louder each time. She passed close to her friends and boyfriend. They were almost all laughing except her best friend. Her boyfriend was looking at her with disgust. Jolie continued to run and only her best friend followed her.


Jolie was trying to take the red stains off of her white pull-over. She was still hearing the echo of the laughing in her head. Her friend was next to her, silent. Jolie appreciated that, she needed silence to calm down and to think about what had just happened.
“You are lucky.” Her friend said after a few minutes. “With those two pullovers, your t-shirt is still dry and clean, so you don’t need to change. It would have been better if your first pull-over was red but …. By the way, why are you wearing two pullovers ? Are you really that cold ?”
“Yes. I don’t know why but since this morning, I feel colder and colder. And I’m also more and more exhausted.” said Jolie while starting to dry her clothes.
“You look so pale. Maybe you should go home.” said her friend with a worried look.
“No … there isn’t a lot left of the day. If I am really not feeling good, I will go see the nurse. Don’t worry.” concluded Jolie while finishing to dry her clothes.
As a silence between the two of them settled again, they started to hear a noise. It was like droplets.
“Where is that sound coming from?” asked Jolie. “It doesn’t come from the sink.”
“I don’t know. Oh, wait ... I think that it is coming from the ceiling. It is probably due to the humidity problem. I heard that we may also have electricity problems because of that.” said her friend. And just after that, half of the lights started to flicker and then switched off. “See, just as I said.”
“It’s kind of darker now. It gives off a bad atmosphere. I don’t like it, we should go out.” said Jolie.


The girl’s lockers room was the last place that Jolie wanted to be in. Most of the light in the room had switched off which gave the room a “horror movie” atmosphere. But she couldn’t avoid going in if she wanted to change back to her normal clothes. Jolie usually liked P.E. but today was the worst class that she had ever had. It seemed like the event at the cafeteria had changed everybody’s personality. The boys who had wished her a Happy Birthday this morning, had been throwing balls at her and had been making her fall all the time. The girls who had wished her a Happy Birthday, had been making rude remarks and had been mocking her. One of her old friends told her that it would have been much funnier if the meatballs with the tomato sauce had ended-up in her hair and her face. Jolie had also been extremely exhausted but the teacher hadn’t allowed her to rest. Now, she was sitting in the locker room, fighting not cry. She didn’t understand what was happening or what she had done to make everything happen like that. Right then, she was alone in the locker room. Actually, she had waited in the gym to not go in the room when the other girls were in. It was pitiful and she knew it, but she didn't have the courage to see them. The bell was soon going to ring, she needed to go. As she stood up to go out, she saw something in the bathroom stall. It looked like a school bag. She shouldn't have gotten it, after all the other girls had been despicable to her. She walked away but twenty seconds after she went back to see whose bag it was. She had never seen that bag before. There was probably a name inside. The problem was that Jolie didn't like looking inside someone else’s bag. But she supposed that it was the only way to find the owner of that bag. Just for this one time she would look.
“It is not very nice to look in someone else’s bag.” said a voice behind her.
“Sorry. I was just trying to see whose bag it was.” said Jolie while turning to see who she was talking to. “I promise that I wasn’t trying to see what is inside.” She said while giving back the bag to the girl. Jolie found it strange that the girl came with two others girls.
“Since you seem to want to look in it so much. I will let you look.” said the girl while dropping all the contents of her bag on Jolie. “Here we go. I am really too nice, right?” She said while looking at the two other girls.
Jolie looked down to see what had fallen out and discovered pictures of her and her boyfriend cut in small pieces and papers with GO DIE written on it.
“What is all that?” asked Jolie with a small voice, while small wet circles started to appear on the paper.
“All my feelings for you since the beginning of High School.” answered the girl coldly.
“Did I do something to you?” asked Jolie who was desperately trying to keep control of her shaking voice.
“I will give you time to think about it yourself.” said the girl. And while she walked out of the bathroom stall, she closed the door behind her.
After that, Jolie was sitting on the floor crying when she heard a heavy noise.
“What happened?” She asked while standing up and opened the door to go see.
To be exact, she tried to open the door but it didn’t even move an inch. She started kicking the door and yelled for help but nothing happened. Then, she heard a noise.
“Help me! Someone locked the door!” She started to say and then, in one second, she became soaked and a bucket fell on top of her head. She didn’t understand what happen.
“Here. Another gift for you. I hope that it helped you to cool down your head and that now, you will know your place and will stop running after the popular guys.” said the girl from before who started to laugh.
Suddenly, the lights that were still working started to blink and switched off. Everybody screamed from the surprise.
“I don’t like it! It’s is pitch black, I can’t see anything!” said one of the two others girls, completely panicked.
“We should get out of here.” says the girl. Even if her voice seemed calm, it was easy to understand that she was also afraid.
“But we can’t see anything!” shouted the third girl.
“Shut up!” shouted the girl with the bag. “I have a lamp app on my phone so won’t have problems to see. Now, let’s get out of here.”
“Wait! Unlock me please!” shouted Jolie. “Don’t leave me alone.”
Nobody answered. She only heard a laughing that became softer and softer. And then, silence. Jolie was afraid, she was exhausted, had never been so cold and she didn’t know what to do. First, she needed to calm down and then find a plan. She took a few minutes to stop crying and think. Since the girls had thrown the bucket on her, then there was probably an opening on the top of the door. She stood up and tried to find it. There it was, she had found it, but it was too high. She tried to stand on the toilet but it was too far away from the door. As she went to the door, she tripped on the bucket and suddenly got an idea. She stood on the bucket and tried to reach the opening. She did it. She pushed herself through the opening but she did it too fast and fell on the other side of the door. She didn’t really know how she had done it but during the process, she had lightly cut her wrist. But now wasn’t the moment to think about it, she needed to get out of there. She started to walk, trying to find the locker room exit. She found it and discovered that the whole school was pitch dark.

She wandered around the school trying to find someone who could help her, but the school was deserted. While she was walking, she began to see eyes glowing in the dark and then, she started to hear laughing. It was coming from everywhere, some were low, some were loud. She was also seeing laughing mouths. She began to run, but the glowing eyes and the laughing mouths seemed to be everywhere and then, she heard her best friend’s voice. She was the last person that Jolie trusted. Jolie followed it and saw her friend in the middle of some light. She was with someone else. As Jolie ran toward them, she recognized her boyfriend. She was going to call them but then, they kissed. Not an amical kiss, it was more like an animal kiss. She was clinging to him and his hands were running all over her back and into her hair. Jolie’s heart broke. He had never kissed her like that, and now, he was doing it with her best friend. It was too hard for Jolie to watch. She started to run in the opposite direction. She didn’t have anybody to trust anymore. The laughings were even more present than before. She ran and suddenly felt a breeze as cold as ice, brushing her cheeks. She looked around, searching where it was coming from and saw an open door leading to outside.

She ran toward it and the cold hit her. It was like she was stabbed by needles all over her body. But she continued to run away from that school, from the society. Her wet clothes were starting to freeze and the snow was making it difficult to run. She tripped on a hidden rock and fell, face first in the snow. She stayed like that for a few seconds and then, turned to face the sky. She didn’t stand up even if it was dark, that she was cold, wet and that her wrist was bleeding. She was too exhausted to try but even if she wasn’t exhausted, she wouldn’t have tried.


Lying in the snow, she feels more comfortable. Here the trash of the human society cannot affect her. As the snow around her and the new snow falling turn slowly red, she remembers her day. As she remembers her day, she loses sensation of her body. As she loses sensation of her body, she doesn’t feel the cold anymore. And as she doesn’t feel the cold anymore, everything becomes darker and darker until there is nothing left.












*

Everything was quiet. Maybe too quiet. The droplets had stopped falling and had left a deathly silence. There wasn’t a soul in sight. The bluebell’s smell had gone and left a strong iron smell who could make anybody dizzy. Everything was white. Maybe not everything. The water of the bath had turned completely red. Maybe not only red. In all this red, there was a peaches and cream form and some faded yellow. Everything was clean and orderly. Maybe not everything. Near the bath, there was a bottle of bluebell bath soap, a red razor blade, and a white envelope which was stained by small red spots. In the envelope, there was a letter written in nice and delicate handwriting. I made a small mistake; I accepted the wrong boy. That small mistake led to others bigger mistakes. Everyday, I tried to dream but my dreams always ended-up in nightmare, in my daily nightmare, my daily pain, my daily life, my reality. On this special day, I will make my last mistake; I will end what started exactly 18 years ago. If I could start again, I would do that last mistake again, because it is already too late for me. My wish, my trust, and my will, are already crushed. But I hope that my last mistake will make people realize that this mistake isn’t the right thing to do. At the back of the letter, something else was written. It was still written a nice and delicate handwriting but you could see that it was written in a hurry.
This will be my last dream, my last nightmare, and the last reminder of my reality ....