The searing pain hits me when I see his gorgeous face. The haunting remembrance of our once beautiful love is now engulfing my mind. I can see it in his eyes that he remembers too, but not the way that I do. He only remembers me as a toy, as a prize he easily won. Just as tears fill the brim of my eyes, I am able to look away.

I try to think of the good times we had, but this only worsens the pain. I attempt to ease my agony by listening to happy music, but this only brings me closer to a meltdown. The worst part is thinking that it could always be like this. It may never become any easier to see him. The possibility that ten or twenty years from now, I might bump into him in a grocery store line, terrifies me. It absolutely petrifies me at the thought of being afraid to say “hi,” because he might ask me how I’ve been.

He presented me with all of the beautiful colors of the sky, but now all I see is grey. He introduced me to a life I never even imagined possible, and then he tore it away. Promising me the world, he won my heart. I never knew how empty a promise could be. I know now, that i should have hidden from the many secrets visible in his eyes.

The worst part is that through all of the lies, and all of the broken promises, I still love him. He made me feel something so new. I felt as if I could reach the sun, but now I feel trapped inside of my own misery. Realizing that I have been played so easily is emotionally draining in unimaginable ways.

He shook me to the ground, and I no longer feel like he knows me. For some reason unknown, I keep my arms wide open, hoping that he keeps me in his heart too.

As my heart begins to pulse with pain, I understand that I need to let him go. I want him to just walk on by, because I’ve got absolutely no reason to love him. Although I say this, I know it is far from true. As much as I want him to walk on by, so that I am able to get over him, I mostly just wish for him to say that he loves me too.