Thump! Thump! Thump!

“STEVEN HUNGRY!!!”



Thump! Thump! Thump! Crash! A car alarm went off somewhere.


John’s glass fell off the table and shattered all over the living room. He ran downstairs to see what was happening, and as he looked out the window he saw a giant tree trunk fall. Then the roof was torn off his house. It was then that he realized the tree trunk was actually a giant leg! John threw himself behind the couch and hid. 8 AM on a Sunday morning and off to a great start.


“STEVEN HUNGRY!!!”, the giant bellowed angrily. John had just gotten back from his second tour in Iraq and was hoping for some time off. No such luck.


John wondered how he would get out of this until he realized he had the emergency fire extinguisher by the fireplace. That would distract the giant long enough for him to run. He scrambled from behind the couch over to the fireplace and slid behind the wall.


Smash!


He looked back in the living room and saw a giant crater where the giant had tried to hit him. He reached around the fireplace and grabbed the fire extinguisher. He threw the extinguisher as hard as he could at the giant’s face. It blew up and Steven stumbled backwards, confused. John ran and grabbed his car keys off the table. He sprinted out the front door and dove into the front seat of his new Suburban.


He shoved the keys in and floored it. Steven was regaining his senses, and he must’ve saw John driving away, because he picked up a car and threw it, like a quarterback throwing a hail mary.


John saw the car in his rear view mirror, and skidded around the corner. His phone rang.”Hello.”, he said.


“John, this is Corporal Adams. We need you at the base. There’s a black hawk firing up now. I’m sure you know what it’s for.”


“Yes sir, I do. I’ll be there in 2 minutes.”


He hung up the phone and shifted into second gear. He arrived 2 minutes later. On the dot. The Corporal ushered him into the helicopter. “Aim for the mouth. That’s its only weak spot.”


John hopped in and sat in the chair controlling the turret and waited. When he saw Steven, he leveled the barrel of the gun. He shot a couple of bullets to agitate it. What the heck? His gun was firing Snickers, not bullets! He kept firing until Steven bellowed and opened his mouth. John shot and got some in before Steven closed his mouth. Steven swallowed, and he began to shrink. He changed back into an innocent 13 year old. THe helicopter turned around and landed back at the base. A loud, deep voice came from everywhere. “You’re not you when you’re hungry. Have a Snickers.”


Then an ad for Oxy Clean came on.