It was a muggy summer evening. The sun had almost fully submerged itself under the horizon, leaving only a faint sliver to illuminate the intense showdown happening in my back yard. I stood in the long, dry grass next to my porch, quaking in fear as I stared down my worst nemesis, the little green frog that sometimes came out at dusk. That may sound lame, but trust me, that frog was evil. In the waning light, its bulging black eyes seemed to glow with malice, while its spotted, slimy skin glistened sinisterly. Its small teeth glinted as it opened its mouth, and its terrifying croak was like the sound of a dying cat (probably because it ate the cat, that little devil).

Although the sun had set, the temperature hadn’t dropped an inch, and it seemed hotter than ever. I wilted a little under the suffocating heat, and glanced longingly at the air conditioned heaven of our porch. A blast of cool air would feel so good on my face right now....but I couldn’t move, not without exposing my vulnerable back to my greatest and most dangerous enemy. Besides, the beast I was facing was a creature of water. Surely the heat would dry it up at any second now, and I would just have to outlast it. I hunkered down, preparing to wait hours if I had to. I wasn’t afraid of this frog! Today, I would defeat it at last!

“Ribbit,” croaked the frog, and I screeched, scrambling away from it in sheer terror. Its small teeth glinted yet again, while its tongue curled in preparation for a fatal strike. It was going to eat me, I was sure of it. I cowered fearfully in the vegetable garden, whimpering piteously as I curled up into a small ball. Frogs were just like vampires, right? There was no way it would get past all the garlic in front of me...or could it? The devil beast hopped closer, emitting its shrieking battle cry as it advanced upon me, its innocent and helpless prey. Oh god, there was no way a few puny garlic plants were going to stop that thing. It was time to beat a hasty retreat, and so I proceeded to run screaming into the relative safety of the house. On the porch, my parents laughed, amused.

“Calm down,” they chuckled. “It’s just a frog. Look at how cute it is! It’s harmless, trust us.” But I knew better, and wouldn’t venture back out where that monster was. “I’m onto you,” I muttered. “You may have fooled them, but you can’t fool me! You’re evil!”

For the next two weeks, I holed up indoors, preparing for my next confrontation with my eternal enemy. This was it, I told myself. This time, I would finally defeat that frog and sleep in peace once more. Armed with my lucky soup ladle and sixteen cloves of garlic, I bobbed and weaved through the weedy expanse of my back yard, swinging my soup ladle every so often to ward off any of the fiend’s potential sneak attacks. This time, instead of waiting for nature to do the dirty work for me, I would take matters into my own hands. My plan was to sneak up behind the fiend and smite it in a surprise attack of my own. I was well prepared, and confident in my chances. Surely nothing could go wrong this time! “Such a cute child,” my parents cooed. “Our daughter sure looks like a little ballerina, prancing around like that.”

“Ribbit, ribbit,” said the frog, appearing behind me in the half-darkness. I jumped in shock, whirling around and flailing my soup ladle at the long, pink, tongue that suddenly shot at my leg. You can do it! I reminded myself. This time, that green beast would go down! “Aha...you devilish fiend,” I boasted, trying to appear confident. Hopefully, if I ignored my quavering voice and shaking knees, the beast would too, and it would be frozen in fear of my strength and power. “I have found you! And now..I will..smite..eep!”

The frog hopped towards me, a hungry look in its terrible eyes, and I completely panicked, dropping my soup ladle and flinging garlic left and right in a last ditch attempt to save myself. Apparently, frogs aren’t very much like vampires at all, because my chief anti-frog precaution failed miserably. The frog was getting much closer now, and I turned to flee, only to be stopped in my tracks by a horrifying sight.

The long tongue shot out once again, this time brushing against the side of my hand. I stared at the appendage in horrified shock. I was infected now, and it would be the end of me. In a few short minutes, I would be reduced to nothing but little girl soup for the fiendish amphibian to drink. It was all over. I slumped down onto the ground, saying my goodbyes to the cruel, cruel world, ready to meet my disgusting and painful demise. Any second now! Any second now! No? No painful demise?

I stared at my miraculously whole hand in amazement. Okay, so maybe frog spit didn’t quite do that. I’d probably...turn into a terrifying were-frog instead! The full moon was rising in the sky, and I braced myself for my eventual transformation. I could already see my horrifying other form in my mind’s eye, complete with slimy green skin and a foul, sticky tongue of my own. Curse that frog for turning me into a disgusting beast! I vowed to utterly destroy it for doing this to me, for ruining--wait, hold on. Why wasn’t I turning into a were-frog? The full moon was up, and if there was a time for me to turn it should have been now. What was with this frog? I mean, frogs were evil, right? So why wasn’t frog spit doing something horrible to me?

The frog hopped closer yet, until its front legs were perched on the tip of my shoe. It opened its mouth, and I cringed, a wild look of absolute terror in my eyes. Now was the time for it to eat me! The long tongue shot out once more, racing towards my face, and then, strangely, past it. I watched in fascination as the frog ate a mosquito on my shoulder instead of my eyeballs, like I thought it would. I was shocked. Did frogs...not eat people?

It was as if the world had suddenly turned upside down. My entire life was changed, and I stared at the now harmless green beast on my foot with newfound awe.

“So maybe I misjudged you after all, Not-So-Villanous Frog,” I said. “I guess you really weren’t trying to eat me. Let’s be friends then!”

New best friend in hand, I skipped happily back into my house and slept in peace for the first time in six years. Frogs were so great! I was glad I didn’t smite the little guy after all.






THE END...OR IS IT?



In the darkness, a small girl slept peacefully in her bed, a crayon drawing of a smiling frog still clutched in one hand. From the shadows came the sound of a sinister ribbit as a familiar green amphibian crept slowly forward with a hungry look in its glittering, coal black eyes, opening its mouth to reveal a set of small, sharp teeth and a long, dangerous tongue....