“Where am I?” Asked a dwarf one spring evening. “How do you not know where you are?” Replied a voice from nowhere. The dwarf tried, in vain, to find where the voice had come from. Then it spoke again, “Why the heck are you in my house? Get out!” The dwarf then began to feel woozy and confused. “House?” He said. “What house? All I see is a … is a… candy store?” The dwarf, understandably, was quite baffled. “What happened?!” The dwarf exclaimed. “How the hell am I supposed to know?! I come to my front door and see you passed out inside my house!” The voice said (And quite rudely too). “But how can this be your house, if it is a candy store?” The dwarf asked. “It is not a candy store! You are in my pantry you weirdo!” The dwarf sat up at once to identify who was yelling at him (And for no good reason). It was a penguin.
He was so confused. He did not know whether to be scared or to laugh hysterically. So trying to contain his laughter the dwarf said, “I know you are (laugh) a little frazzled (laugh) to see me here sir, but pray tell (laugh) where am I (laugh, laugh, laugh)?” The furious penguin decided to just tell him because, he thought, he will be gone quicker that way. “Well,” The penguin said, “You are in my house in Treetop Cottage Manner. You see” He continued, “In this world you have entered, penguins, like myself, live in the trees, along with sharks and ogres. It is an unusual world you have dropped in on sir. I think it would be best if you left and went back to your own world where things make sense.”
The dwarf looked at the penguin in disbelief. “Well sir that is all well and good, but there is only one thing about this world that differs from my own.” “Oh,” Said the penguin, “And what is that?” “Where are the unicorns?” The dwarf asked. “The unicorns?” The penguin replied. “Yes” He said “The unicorns. They are my source of nutrients. Their blood is what my kind drink, and their flesh and meat is all my kind eats. We cannot consume anything else, lest we should explode. So pray tell where are the unicorns?” The dwarf smiled at the penguin, but the penguin did not smile back. Instead he turned to the dwarf and, with a bow, proclaimed him king of his land. The only weird thing about this story is that the dwarf was only seven years old (nineteen in human years, but had the mentality of a seven year old), and had never seen a unicorn before a day in his life. Just goes to show, even the meanest, and snootiest of penguins can be outsmarted by a seven-year-old dwarf from an unknown world.