You were never the kind of girl to be at a place like this at this time of night. Not until your daddy left, anyways. Since he’s been gone, all you’ve done is act out against anyone, especially your mother. Never in a million years would she picture her daughter all grown up, selling herself out for a quick fix that wouldn’t last the night.


You were never the kind of girl to put up with anyone’s bullsh*t, especially not from a stupid boy. But here you are, leaning against a street sign in the dead of night, wearing a tube top and skimpy skirt, in the harshest part of this dreadful city, torturing yourself as you are whistled and hollered at.


A few years ago, you would have been asleep at this time of the night. The only people awake are the drug dealers and addicts and gangbangers. And now, you have become one of them. You really just want to go back home to your mommy and hug her and tell her you’re sorry for everything you’ve put her through. You just want to see your daddy one last time and show him what he’s done to you. You just want to get out of here.


But somehow, you’re always sucked back in. The shallow promises of “just a taste, it’ll be okay” and “oh, you don’t have the money right now? That’s okay… boys!” hold your head under the ice, letting you go just long enough for you to engulf a short gasp of air into your lungs before it pushes you back under.


And that’s what it feels like, isn’t it? You feel like you’re trapped under the ice. But rather than ice, you’re trapped under addictions and pimps and players and Emergency Room bills. They hold you down once to get what they want, and it seems as though you can never quite get back up to get what you want.


You want to be home and apologize to your family and watch your favorite movies and color with your little sister. It would kill her if she saw you like this; she used to always look up to you. But you were so blinded by your daddy issues to even realize it.


And then you left. You had so much potential and you threw it all out the window when you picked up the needle and the pipe and the powder. You want so desperately to go home, but you can’t do that with crystals in your head.


You don’t have anywhere to go but up, so stop holding yourself down.