unknown | Teen Ink


August 12, 2013
By 5yydney GOLD, Moreland Hills, OH, Ohio
5yydney GOLD, Moreland Hills, OH, Ohio
11 articles 1 photo 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I told a stranger on the internet that i was lonely and nothing changed. I kissed a boy with pretty lips and I still felt that hole in my chest. I got drunk at 3 pm and cried so hard I thought I fell asleep in the ocean"

My name is Winter Alyson, I'm only 16 years old, and I've got a s*** load of issues. I'm ugly, awkward, and insecure. Positive attention is what I thrive off of but unfortunately I don't get too much of it. I've got s*** grades and a s*** life; I'm not even sure I'll be going to college. I don’t have the grades nor do I have the money. All of these things must somehow factor into where I am now. Stranded in the middle of nowhere desperately trying to stay alive. Concentrate on breathing. Inhale, exhale. The world spins around as my vision blurs and the sounds of nature become more and more muted. I heard when you die everything slows down like someones set you in slowmotion. Your eyes usually focus on something like the dew on the grass or a single red leaf on a tree. It becomes the center of your attention for no reason whatsoever but you just can't tear yourself away from focusing on it. You think about your life; what you've been through and what you’re missing out on once you die. I heard that you basically relive your life in your head from birth to where you are now. I could have prevented this, you know? I didn't have to overdose on those pills, I didn't have to become this unhappy. I suppose thats just fate working away at the unfair ways of life. Some say that your life is predetermined from the very moment that you’re born. The second you’re welcomed into this hell its automatically determined that youre going to become a doctor with four kids and a wonderful life or a sad drunk whose wife left you for your best friend. Its sad, but I can't help but believe it. If you had asked me last year where I would be right at this very moment I would have told you at home sitting around a fire with my family reading a book or doing homework. If it were up to me instead of fate thats where I'd be. I wouldn’t be laying here in a field watching my last breath dance away into the cold night sky. I wouldnt be listening to my heart pounding away in my ears like a drum. I wouldnt be so intoxicated with alcohol and drugs and feeling so incredibly numb. No. This is not where I should be. Not where I should be at all. This is the end for me, I know. If only I could start over...

The author's comments:
A short preface of a story I started writing a while back- may or may not post more

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