Standing there I began to wonder if it was all worth it in the end. Was it worth my parents getting together and having such a dead-end kid? They did alright raising me; tried their best and everything. Then I went off on my own and all that raising kinda fell through. Thinking about my own fall, I looked down again.

The people seemed small; just specks on the earth, walking along the streets and through their own lives. I would bet the little amount of cash I had to my name that they were leading better lives than the one I was walking through.

Nothing had really gone my way ever since college ended. I got my degree like any person would, but in the end it didn't do me any good. Got a job and lost it. Had a girlfriend and lost her too. Without a job to earn money or the motivation to find a new one, I lost my apartment. I had tried to keep it by slowly selling off the furniture and getting some loans (not from the best places), but when it came time to pay the rent it just wasn't enough. Living without a roof was harder that I'd expected, but, hey, I tried.

I paced back and forth and felt a harsh breeze nip at my cheeks. It was getting colder and I knew I wouldn't last long any way. I looked up to see birds riding the breeze to a better place, somewhere warmer, nicer. If I had a wish, it would be to be able to go with them. I knew though that such wishes weren't going to be granted. It was a nice thought though. Brightest one I'd had in quite a while.

It's amazing how this blackness just creeps up on you. One minute you have a good life and hope nothing will change. The next everything changes and you start wondering if it would be better to just end it all. At first you think you'll get over it and pick up the pieces of your broken life and start again. As time goes on, though, the blackness in your mind just takes over. It lies in wait for you to be at your weakest and just devours you till there's nothing left, including your will to keep walking through your life.

My blackness had gotten to me and that's why I was up here with the cold wind nipping my cheeks and the birds flying away above my head.

I stopped pacing. It was time.

I climb up to the ledge again, this time with more resolve. I didn't care if there was reincarnation or an afterlife. I just wanted mine to be over.

"You know it doesn't have to end like this."

I almost tripped out of surprise.

Backing away from the ledge, I scanned the roof to see who had decided to watch my fall.

A woman wearing all black looked at me with care in her eyes.

"You have such a good life ahead of you," she said inching closer to me, "Far too great to be wasted like this."

"I don't think I have much to lose, lady," I said, heading for the ledge. Suddenly she appeared before me. Looking me dead in the eyes, she said, "I've seen far too many befall the same fate as yours." I looked down and realized she wasn’t standing on the ledge.

"How--?" I manage to get out, but she cut me off.

"I was sent here to take you. Take you to the end you so dearly crave, but I look upon you and see that the decision you are making is a foolish one." She puts her hand directly over my heart. I get goose bumps as she pushes me back from the ledge. I notice that her hand is now skeletal, all bone, no skin.

"What the--?"

"Before you foolishly throw away the life you were generously given, think about what will come of your actions. A day is all I ask for. If you are back here at this time again tomorrow, I will take you away without trying to change your mind again." Just then she disappeared in a cloud of black smoke and followed the birds on the breeze. Dumbfounded, I decided to take the chick's advice, and went down the stairs and came out to an alley. “Was she even a chick?” was my first question, but a bigger one came to the front of my reeling mind.

What did she mean I had a life ahead of me? As far as I could tell my life wasn't exactly heading in a good direction. I was sure she realized that, considering where I was when we met each other. What was weird was she seemed so... omniscient. I didn't really get it, and I wasn’t in the mood for having some mental breakdown about what had just happened, so I just stood at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to turn. I was shuffled along across the street by the people walking better lives than mine. The countdown for the crossing was down to its last seconds. I looked back at the building I had my strange encounter on and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a girl that had been left behind during the crossing. It looked like she had dropped her doll or something; I didn't really have the time to figure out exactly how her doll had ended up there. All I knew was that the countdown was ending and traffic was going to start again any second.

I broke into a sprint as I went to meet the kid. Just as I reached her, I heard a honk as a car, going too fast to make a stop, as my "luck" would have it, barreled toward us. I had just enough time to throw the girl outta the way before the car crashed into me.

I don't really remember anything between saving the kid and waking up in the hospital bed. I thought there was probably a lot of blood. I was pretty sure the doctor said I was lucky to be alive.

When I woke up the mother of the kid was there, crying and thanking me a million times over. She insisted that she would pay for the medical bills. I almost stopped her, but I realized I didn't have enough money to cover them anyway. Later on the girl came to visit me. She had a broken arm, but other than that she was hunky-dory. She thanked me and gave me her doll as a token of appreciation. At first I thought she wanted it, considering she almost died for it, but she said the doll, or "Alicia", wanted to stay with me instead.

Soon after the kid and her mom left and it was just me and Alicia in the hospital room. I was about to go to sleep when I heard a familiar voice.

"If you had died earlier today you would not have been able to save that young girl."

I knew who it was before I turned over in my hospital bed to look. There she was; the strange, wear-all-black chick again. She had a smile on her face, of course.

"Is this going to be an, 'I told you so,' moment or something?" I asked as I struggled into a sitting position.

"Perhaps," she said. She smiled again and started to walk toward the window.

"Hang on," I said. She stopped and turned to me with a questioning look. "How do you know I'll have a good life?" I asked.

"You will just have to trust me, Ronald." She smiled again. Probably because I looked even more dumbfounded that the last time we met. I had never told her my name, or even used that name in years. I'd always gone by some nickname, but never my actual name.
"I hope I will not have to see you again for some time." She waved and then did her black smoke hocus pocus and was gone out the window again.

I was discharged after a couple weeks. Or was it months? I had no idea. Hospital days eventually just blend together. It’s like those summer vacations when all the days and nights became a single thing. What day was it? Monday or Friday, it was the same.
I was busy thanking my now lucky stars that that mom had paid for those medical bills when I felt a muzzle prodding into my back. I couldn’t see the person the gun was attached too, but I could tell it wasn’t good.
“You’re gonna come with me, and come quiet,” said the person behind me. Jabbing the gun into my spine more than he needed to (the deep baritone voice was a dead giveaway), the man lead me into a dark alley and rammed me into a wall face-first with his shoulder. Great, just what I needed after going to the hospital; might as well have a broken nose to match all my other still mending bones.
“Hey, go easy on me, will ya? I just got out of the hospital,” I said.
“You shut up,” said my assailant. He whipped me around so I could see his lovely mug, and what a great one it was. Scars raked all over his face, some fresh, some white from age. His hair was greasy enough to a look of being wet, curling at the edges. It wasn’t like I could forget a face like that.
“Mike, hey…” I said, putting my hands up in a gesture of surrender and please-don’t-hurt-me.
“I said shut it.” He poked the gun further into my still healing ribs. Ow. “I need that money you owe me, NOW.” Mike looked pretty shaken. His eyes were a bit more bugged than usually, definitely high on something.
“Hey, man, do you think I’d have it?” I said, though it came out more pissed off than I wanted.
“I don’t have TIME for your B.S.” Mike said. His hand was shaking now. I watched the gun seize against my chest. This definitely wasn’t good.
“Hey, hey, calm down. You’ve got a gun.” My hands inched toward the muzzle. If I could just angle it away from my body, I’d at least have time to run for it. Wasn’t the best plan, but when there’s a gun at the end of a shaking man who’s high on drugs and owes big money for them, there isn’t much time to scheme. I did have to figure out how to get out, though. The fire escape above me was out of the question. I would call the police if I had a cell… but Mike didn’t know that.
“If you don’t get that gun out of my way, I’m gonna call the cops.”
Now, that scared him. He jumped back a bit, panicked at the thought of being arrested.
“There we go… now--” and that’s when I bolted. Obviously not an award winning idea, but, again, I didn’t have time to make a plan with frills.
I also didn’t have time to think about whether or not he would actually shoot. I’d hoped in his daze he wouldn’t realize I was gone till I rounded the corner, but Mike was sharper than I thought. I felt the bullet rip through me. Tearing muscle, shattering bone, spreading fire through me body as the blood started to spurt from the hole. The impact sent me to the ground. I felt the sticky sensation of my own blood as I face-planted into the pavement. What a deja vu moment.

I woke up back on the ledge where my life almost ended. How ironic, I thought. I looked down again. Now I saw a crowd gathered near an alley. Police sirens blared and lights flashed.

“It seems I could not save you this time.”

I turned around to find the women clad in black that I had become so acquainted with.

“Guess not,” I said. I looked down at my hands to find only an impression of them. I looked through them and saw the concrete under my feet, except I had no feet.

“You seem to be handling your death better than most,” said the women. She floated over in front of me and put a hand on my shoulder.

“Guess so.” I was still short of words. I had wanted to end my life long ago, or at least it seemed long ago, but now that I was on the other side the finality of it kinda shocked me.

“I have a proposition for you,” the woman said. “I’ve seen many cases like yours and sometimes I can’t always save them. I think someone of you credentials would do a better job than I.” She gave me a skeletal smile. I looked down at my feet, or lack thereof.

“Would that mean I’d never go to heaven or whatever’s up there?” I asked.

“That would depend on you,” she said. She let her hand slip from my shoulder and reached behind her back to reveal a second black cloak. It was similar to hers, smoke curling along the edges. Now I smiled.

“Up in the clouds probably wouldn’t have been my scene anyway.”