In the hotel room I sat and watched my three little sisters play. Back at home I had a little sister but her complexion is so much paler than mine. It felt good being around them and not having to be asked why are you black and your mom white. It was an ignorant way to feel, but I just wanted to belong.
No one can make me feel more insecure and cold as blood. No one can make me feel more vulernarable and indecisive as blood. Oh, but water, water is beautiful and refreshing water is cool and calming. Water would never leave.
Leave is what blood did. Blood dropped me back off at home. I remember watching the car drive away. It was gut wrenching. I love water, but, sometimes I feel like she is shoveling dirt to fill up a whole that only blood can fill but for that I love her and always will. In the years that have passed my step mom is my blood and my biological mom will forever be trying to put dirt in a whole that she will never be able to fill. Why?
Because my water has amounted up to everything that I will ever need and more.
She is my refreshing water and my warm tender blood.
The blood that I imagine flows through my veins.