Ferguson must be one of the luckiest 24yr old alive. Considering his parents still pay his rent and on top of that they pay his credit/debit card bill. To help pay for his star wars addiction. But I guess his parents are tired of his bull crap or even the worst broke, because Ferguson is going to be evicted.
One day Ferguson was digging through his Star Wars computer games wondering which one he might complete for the hundredth time. When he came across a letter addressed to him. As he unfolded the letter he read in big capital letters EVICTION NOTICE followed with.
Dear, Ferguson
You are 2months behind on rent. You have either 30 days to pay or get out, If you don’t pay by the first Monday you and your Star Wars collection(Junk) is going to be out on the streets.












Sincerely, Mrs. Howard





PS: you might want to get a job (;
I sat there with total fear on my face; couldn't’t believe that I was going to get evicted. The only thing running through my head was “why hasn’t my parents paid my rent, I know they received this letter because they knew I would look through my pile of games.”
And then I paused for a second and thought to myself, “I need to get a job that makes Quick money.”
As I was walking down the street to meet up with my old friend, I was grapping all and every job application I could.
“Hey, Ferguson” it was Mike just the person I wanted to see.
“Hey Mike did you want to go to the cheesy Pizzy for dinner?”
“Sure let’s go”
As we made our way down to the Cheesy Pizzy Mike must have felt some tension because he just kept on asking what’s wrong, you’re not the same today. And I had absolutely nothing to say. We walked into the restaurant and we were seated and I looked at him and said.
“I am getting evicted; do you think I could move in with you?”
“Ummm No”
“Why not I don’t have a job and in 30days I am going to be out on the streets.”
I started to hyperventilate when Mike shouted.
“Calm down you are not going to be on the streets I won’t let that happen to you, What I am going to do is help you out.”
“Help Me out, how are you going to do that?”
“Give you a job, how do you feel about Strippers.”
“I think they are people who are very good looking like yourself, who don’t work that hard to get money thrown at them money thrown at them.”
“Well that’s about right, I am going to give you an offer. How would you like to become a stripper?”
As I raised my head I looked at Mike with a blank look on my face. The one people always say looks like a Deer caught in headlights kind of look. And before I could even think about it I said.
“YES!!!”
Mike had a surprised look on his face as he looked in my eyes and said
“Well let’s get started.”
“Stared on what”
“Your look”
Before I considered Stripping I was a stay at home person so I was Pal, and skinny. After Mike was through with me I was a totally different person. I was still awkwardly skinny, but I had some definition. And on top of that I had a Jersey Shore tan; I had to change my whole living routine I use to be wakeup in the morning and play Star Wars computer games all day. Now I wake up in the morning and go to the gym, tan, shower (G.T.S). After my transformation Mike took one look at me and said.
“You’re ready”
So he immediately began teaching me the routines, and also a few tricks to get some extra cash from the ladies. Some things he told me to do were disgusting, like things people should never have to witness in their lives. So the night before the show some of the guys took me out. I sat down with Mike and said.
“Mike, What if they don’t like me, like what if I get out there and no one throws money at me.”
“Don’t worry Ferguson the ladies are man eaters they are going to eat you alive, considering you ardifferednt and awkward.”
“Well I hope that’s a good thing, cause if not I am getting evicted on Monday.”
“Ferguson get home and rest, and don’t worry their going to love you”
I stood up and gave Mike a worried look and walked away.

That night I tossed and turned all night and before I knew it my alarm was going off. I had a dream I stepped out on stage and they laughed me right off the stage. I became a laughing stock and every time I walked down the street people would point and laugh at me. I can’t dwell on that all day because I have a show in less than 4hrs. I grabbed my gym bag of thongs, Speedos, and my knee pads, and headed to the Crystal Pistol. When I arrived Mike greeted me with about 7 shoots in hand.
“Ferguson you look like S**t!”
“Yeah, I know I am just a little nervous”
“I am not going to tell you again DON’T WORRY! Drink these.”
I picked up three and tossed them back.
‘Ugg what is that”
As I gave him a puckered face
‘’ A boost, now get dressed the show is about to start.”
Due to my nervousness I tossed back the rest of the shoots. I begin to feel all loose as a goose, my eyes begin to blur and I started seeing double, and then I was up. I started to sweat as I headed to center stage. It could hear the chatter of a million vultures, I thought about running off the stage, but mike stood tall at the exit.
“Bam” it’s the sound of the spot light turn on me. As my song came on I started to begin my routine. And before I know it something took over my body and I began rolling my body in a direction I never know it could go. I slowly began removing my clothes and all of a sudden I was down to my thong. And the loud chatter of the vultures turned in to cheering and throwing cash at me. Next thing you know I was on the ground using some of the tricks Mike had given me. I stood at the edge of the stage by now the boost drinks were really starting to kick in. I looked around the club and spotted a very beautiful blonde smug due to my vision being impaired. I slowly made my way over to her; I grabbed her hand as I shook my junk in her face. I started rubbing her hand up and down my body then straight into my thong. I looked down at her as I could see the red in her cheeks we made eye contact and I rapidly snatched her hand out of my pants.
IT WAS MY MOM.
I took of sprinting off stage, Mike grabbed me.
“That was great, what wrong?”
“Tha...That…lady it was my mom.”
‘Oh man that’s bad,”
“What should I say to her?”
“You’re on your own with that one, here is your money.”
I reach my hand out expecting a handful of cash for that dreadful performance. But he handed me a 5 gallon bucket of cash filled to capacity.
“FURGESION!”
It was my mom she was red in the face as she stormed towards me. I stood there in my thong and knee pads in total shock my feet were glued to the ground. As she approached me I prepared myself to be slapped as she opened her mouth.
“What the hell are you thinking?”
“I need to pay rent so I got a job.”
“Really Ferguson, your Father and I did that for a reason for you to get a real job.”
“This is a real job, and I plan on keeping it to.”
“So you’re telling me you’re not quitting”
“Yes, this is my job and I am not quitting my job and that’s that!”
My mom stood there with the look of utter shock on her face as she said.
“Thank you, this is what your father and I wanted from you all along. You have passed the test.”
As she stood there with a gritty smile on her face.
“You are a 24 yr old guy whose parents still paid his rent. Ferguson you may keep your job.”
“I was going to keep it rather you said yes or no.”
“Well you get back out there and shake that tall you have rent due tomorrow.”
The next day Mrs. Howard came over with the letter in hand.
“Do you have my rent?”
“I do come on in.”
We walked over to my dinner table as I began unfolding my crumbled ones on the table. You should have seen the look on her face, the look of utter disgust.
“So Ferguson what do you do for a living?”
“Let’s just say I am a performer.”
“Well looks like you’re doing well with that.”
“Yup, $699.00, 700.00”
As I lined up my money and handed it to her I said.
“Nice doing business with you.”
“Yes sir, hope next month won’t result to an eviction notice.”
“It won’t because I have a job now, have a nice day Mrs. Howard I have to get to training”
“Bye Ferguson don’t do anything illegal.”
At the end of the day Ferguson learned a very valuable lesson.
Never let your parents pay your rent.