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Christmas Now and Forever
“As ultimate ruler of this house hold I refuse this Christmas cheer. If there must be cheer, then it should be centered around me!” I can't believe none of them would listen to me. After all since I was the owner of everything they should at least (very least) take my opinion. If they were to get on my good side then they would do whatever I said.
My annoying subjects were just running around gathering up balls and putting them on a stupid tree. I voiced my objections. “All right now what you need to do is take off all of those wonderful balls and put them on the floor. Then while I play with them you can go and get me some kibble. If this does not happen, then I will climb the tree and take them down myself.”
Little Molly stopped by me and gave me a good head rub. “This is why you are my favorite subject.” I purred and rubbed against her legs when she stood to leave.
“Let me go, Kibbles. We are decorating the tree now. You can come if you want!” Molly said. Gathering me up she went into the distasteful room with the tree. The last thing I wanted to do was go anywhere near that tree. Little Molly plopped me down in the nearest chair and I immediately began to groom myself. I could not appear before my subjects with mussed up hair.
“Well I'll be off now, for much more substantial activities than dressing a tree, for instance a nap.” I meowed. I went to delicately jump off the chair when they turned off the lights! My claws extended into the chair and my back stiffened... until I saw what my subjects were looking at. The tree was radiant with lights gleaming out bouncing off the balls and practically dancing! Not that I care... At all. I gracefully extracted my claws and jumped off the chair.
I went to the soft room. The room had soft lovely chairs (of course, not as lovely as me), a red deep carpet, a table that is placed just to be in my way, and a couch with a window over the back. I jumped onto the back of the couch and curled up in front of the window. Looking out I could see the dark winding thing that my subjects roll away on. Beyond that was the rural countryside.
How could my humans not pay attention to me? After all, I am the best thing that they have ever seen and will ever see. Whatever this Christmas, is it must be exterminated. With that thought I drifted off to sleep.
I woke up the next morning to more messed up hair! At least it was only on a tiny iota of my head rather than a big portion on my body. To be clear, that never happens to me. Ever.
Stretching, I went into the kitchen where the largest female servant (also commonly known as Mom) was cooking. I weaved around her legs meowing and entreating for my breakfast. Of course, I was only begging because she liked it and gave me more. I got my kibble with a “Good girl, Kibble.” The rest of the servants (Molly and Dad) came into the feeding room. They talked about caroling and singing. The gist of it all was they were going to take more attention away from me. How dreadful for my subjects to ignore me! At least I could put my plan into action.
As soon as they left for caroling (I shuddered just thinking about it) I went to the tree room. Trying to consolidate nature and mankind into one room, a horrible mistake. It just proved how fallible man could be with mistakes like that, and why cats ruled them. Sizing up the tree, I judged just how hard my opponent would be. With my skills it would be easy. I would need a good bath, though, after, considering how grimy and dirt speckled the little needles were. I crouched down ready to maul the tree and claw it apart. Then, I sprang.
I was dominating the fight, winning by a mile... for a couple seconds. Then the tree fell over on me! I jumped off to the side and smoothed back my fur. “That's unfair, dirty fighting.” I wailed at the tree. Of course I knew, it was going to fall over. It was very obvious. I stalked out of the room and sulked in the soft room.
When my humans came home they stood up the tree, saying there wasn't much damage. They blamed the unstable stand. I planed and plotted my next attack. I couldn't come up with another idea, which was perfectly understandable considering a tree fell on me today (really this was the only time I couldn't come up with an idea).
The day passed and the elder subjects stayed up late. I went to bed early because that was the way of a cat. I got up early the next morning and went into the tree's room. Colors blinded me for a second. When my eyes focused I saw it was boxes upon boxes, all colorful. They were tall, short, thick, and thin under the tree. That's when my plan erupted from the back of my mind. I went up to the nearest box and swiped a claw through it. It's content spewed out on the floor. Doing the same to the next three boxes I started to enjoy myself. On the fourth box it's content was the best yet!
A golden ball rolled out. It was really red but had so many stripes of yellow and orange it looked golden. About the size of my head it was wonderful and most obviously meant for me. Of course my subjects would get me something. My humans weren't mad at me and continued to proceed opening the boxes. It turned out to be a good day. I think now I truly understand the meaning of Christmas.
Christmas’s meaning is most obvious: give everything to me.